


Pom poms, chapstick, and our future ahead

by DollMew



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF, Trixie & Katya - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Always Female Katya Zamolodchikova, Always Female Trixie Mattel, Cheerleaders, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fanart, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lesbian Katya Zamolodchikova, Lesbian Trixie Mattel, POV Trixie Mattel, Russian Katya Zolomodchikova, Top Katya Zamolodchikova, Trixie is in a constant state of gay panic for Katya and so am I, Useless Lesbians, occasional art scenes, this is very basic but I hope you like it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 79,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25036405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DollMew/pseuds/DollMew
Summary: Trixie Mattel has the perfect life. She's the co-captain of the cheerleading team, has good grades, lives in a high class neighborhood, and has two successful parents. Her whole future is already planned, everything carefully sorted out.That is, until a russian, blonde, rebellious girl moves in down the street, and suddenly Trixie starts to believe that her life can be more than what other people told her it could be.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 51
Kudos: 121





	1. New beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I know what you're thinking, and yes, this is very basic. But I enjoy writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it too. 
> 
> This is a very classic old trope that I really like so I needed to write them in it. I want to make very clear this is about the characters, AKA the drag personas, and not the actual real life people. That's creepy, please don't do that :) 
> 
> Also, let it be known that English isn't my first language, so if you see any mistakes let me know in the comments.
> 
> But I'll stop talking now. Be gay, do crime, and enjoy!

The alarm went off at 7am, being as loud as possible with an annoying beeping noise. From the bed, a thin pale hand with pink nail polish on the nails, reached out to turn it off. 

After the sound was finally over, the girl from the bed rose with a sigh. She walked up to her closet, turning the lights of the small room on, and roaming around the clothes. 

She picked the first couple of things she found, a white shirt with a collar, a pink pullover sweater and a white tight skirt. 

After having the clothes in her body, she walked up to the desk with the big mirror, and started brushing her blonde curls. While she was at it, she felt herself start to fully wake up. Doing her daily routine helped her get the energy she needed for the day, slowly leaving behind the sleepy sensation. 

It was pretty simple, for she did the same things in the same order. Wake up, get dressed, do hair and makeup, drink a morning smoothie, brush teeth and go to school. It was simple, it was efficient, it was quick. But most importantly, it was the same everyday. No risk of doing something wrong, no danger of running late, no surprises. Rather the knowledge that she was going to be in time, and that nothing could go wrong if she stuck to the sequence. 

The rest of the steps went by quickly, and soon enough she was sitting in her living room, waiting to hear the claxon of her friend's car, indicating she was there to pick her up. She looked anxiously at the clock, her house wasn't her favourite place to be in. Maybe if she waited outside....

As she sat in the couch, two voices entered the room, followed by two adult figures. 

The woman was the personification of Trixie herself, if she had 20 more years of age. She wore business attire, and her modest heels made her just tall enough that she reached the height of the man.

He was also suited in professional clothes, with a rather serious look on his face. It didn't surprise Trixie; he wasn't the smiling type. 

The two grown ups were talking about work, immersed in the topic, not noticing the presence of the blonde girl. 

That was, until she received a notification, her phone making a sound with the action. She quickly grabbed it, turning the volume down, but it was too late, the woman got startled, suddenly shifting her gaze to her daughter.

"For the love of ... how many times have I told you to turn that thing down?? you will interrupt the class if it goes off at school" 

"I know, I'm sorry".Trixie answered, putting her phone on buzzing mode and slipping it into her purse. 

"And may I ask why are you still here? You will be late if you don't leave in 3 minutes. Is your friend coming? Or do I need to drive you there? Because I swear, if she left you again, I will..."

Like being summoned, a claxon went off outside, the car rolling to park in front of the house. Trixie quickly got up, not wanting to spend another minute in the house. 

"See? She's here, nothing to worry about", she said, as she bolted past her parents and stepped outside of the house. "I'll see you at five."

"Hold on a moment, five?" Her mother said, holding the door open, forcing Trixie to stop on her tracks.

"Yes, we have practice today, for the team. I told you about it yesterday."

Her mother scrunched her eyes, looking for a lie in her expression. When she didn't find one, she sighed and said "Ok." before closing the door back and letting the girl finally walk up to the car that awaited for her in the sidewalk.

She got in the front seat, sighing as she sat down. A chuckle came from the driver's side, clearly entertained by her expression.

"Shut up, Kim." 

"I'm sorry, you know I love your mom but she can be a real pain sometimes." The girl next to her said, as she steered the wheel to get out of the parking space.

Trixie looked at her friend with a smile, trying to forget about her mom and focusing on the day ahead. She reached out to the stereo, changing the music channel to something that was actually playing music and not just some dumb radio ad.

Both girls started talking, catching up on their school break. They talked about their holidays, the new years, and all the delicious food they had eaten. Trixie was glad to have a friend like Kim, she always knew how to cheer her up in her own clumsy but caring way. The topic eventually changed into the new semester, and the coming back to school.

"Do you think we'll get any exchange students? I heard Pinewood High is getting some this semester." 

Trixie shrugged, for she didn't have an answer. Every year, on the last semester, the main two highschools of the area received a batch of exchange students from all over the world. Kim herself was once one of them.

She had come as an exchange from South Korea when they were in junior year, and she liked it so much her family ended up moving there, becoming residents. 

Trixie wasn't a big fan of those students. She knew Kim had been an exception, but she didn't like the idea of making new friends just to have them go back to the other end of the globe in the short span of six months. She had already lost contact with people because of it, and she wasn't looking forward to experiencing that again. So, she usually ignored the students, or just focused on trying to not become close. 

"Come on, don't put that face. I know you tend to ignore them, but you should give it a try this year." Kim said, like if she were reading her thoughts. "We're seniors now, after the year is over we'll part ways anyway. It'll be the same thing with them, so I don't see where your fuss comes from. Also we have social media, it's not like you won't be able to communicate."

Trixie sighed, knowing if she tried to argue she wasn't going to win. "Alright, I'll try to make friends with an exchange this year."

"Oh come on, I didn't say you _have_ to, just that you shouldn't close off to the idea."

Trixie rolled her eyes in a teasing way, dismissing what the girl had said. 

The rest of the ride was silent aside from the music, and in not long they found themselves walking from the parking lot and inside the large main building of the school. 

They walked into the halls, the familiarity making Trixie's heart tug. She had missed this place. She had missed the lockers, the classrooms, the long white halls, the tall clear windows, and the sound of unintelligible talking. 

She walked with Kim only for a couple of steps, before getting practically tackled by two girls. They stumbled upon eachother, ending up in an uncomfortable group hug. 

"Mee, you're stepping on my feet" Trixie said as loud as she could while being crushed by the other girls' strong arms.

"Sorry, sorry, I got a little excited". Both girls pulled away, while the four of them awkwardly fixed their hair and clothes.

They finally took a break, and Trixie was able to see her friends properly.

Two tall girls stood in front of her, both with beautiful dark skin and hair as dark as night. The girl in the left, B as they called her (her actual name was Bob, because her parents believed they were having a son), and in the right, Naomi, AKA 'Mee'. 

All four members of the friend group started to walk together along the halls, catching up on their life and how their mornings had gone so far. 

Eventually, they reached Trixie's locker, creating a circle around her as she grabbed the things she needed for her class. She was looking in the small mirror that was in her locker wall, retouching her pink lipgloss, when the bell rang. 

"It's our cue to leave, we'll see you in a couple of hours Trxie", said B as she patted her shoulder and turned around with the other two girls to walk on the opposite side of the hall.

Trixie closed her locker, beginning to walk towards her classroom. It was on the other side of the building, so she started to walk faster in order to get there in time.

She didn't got far though, for not only a couple of meters away from her locker she crashed into a running girl, that was going on the opposite direction, having both of them fall to the ground and dropping all their stuff with them. 

Trixie got up, feeling sore and already expecting a bruise to form on her elbow. As she struggled to get up without her skirt pulling up, she shifted her gaze to her left. The girl she had crashed with was still sitting on the floor, putting her books back in her bag. Trixie felt a sting of guilt, so she knelt back down to help her.

The girl looked up, tugging a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. She smiled at Trixie, showing her slightly crooked teeth.

"I'm sorry, you dropped all your stuff."

"Oh no, I'm the one that's sorry, I shouldn't have been running." Trixie tried not to let her surprise show when she noticed the accent in the girls voice. She had to be an exchange.

They finished up with the books and stood back up, awkwardly looking at eachother.

"I'm Nicky, by the way, sorry again for bumping into you. You hit your arm pretty hardly." Said the other girl while fixing down her blue dress.

"Trixie. And don't worry about it. Why where you in such a rush though?"

Nicky let out a sigh, tugging her hair again. Trixie assumed it was a tic the girl had. "I have science class and have been trying to find the classroom for the last fifteen minutes. I've already asked for directions but as you can probably see I'm not very good at that."

"I have science class too! We can go together if you like." 

"Really? Thank you _belle_ , you're a sweetheart." 

They walked together with Trixie leading the way to the classroom. Nicky got a little embarrassed when she realised she had been running on the opposite direction, but quickly forgot about it and continued to talk excitedly with the other girl.

Trixie liked Nicky, she was bubbly, funny and kind. She felt good in her company, and tried not to focus on her worries. As she had suspected, Nicky was an exchange student that had come all the way from Paris. 

Trixie's mind started playing tricks on her as soon as she figured that out, telling her a fictional story of a friendship that ended up breaking because of distance, and the pain of letting a close friend go. However, she tried pushing those thoughts away by focusing on what Kim had told her. _It's the last year anyway_ , she told herself. _We will part ways no matter what, but it doesn't mean we can't be friends._

They finally arrived at the classroom, both sitting in the middle rows, not quite to the front but also not enough behind that they could be considered to be in the back.

The class started, marking the beginning of the school day. The first couple of hours went by quickly, and soon enough it was lunch time. Nicky had decided to go sit with some other girls she had met in another one of her classes, so it was just the usual four girls sitting together.

Trixie sat next to Naomi, basically falling into her seat. She looked at the food in front of her. None of it looked appetizing.

"What's wrong Trixie? You're looking at your food like if it was poisoned." Said Kim when she realised the look on her face. 

"It's nothing I just... have been feeling weird this morning. Everything sounds disgusting and I'm bloated." She let out a sigh as she dropped her head into the table, just wanting to sink into it. 

"Come on, cheer up! It's the first day of our last semester in high school, you can't spend it feeling like a soggy Cheeto." 

Trixie laughed at the comparison, lifting her head back up, and reclutantly eating a bite of her food. 

The rest of the day went quickly, not many outstanding things happening. The final bell rang, and after putting her stuff back into her locker, Trixie headed to the the sports area for her cheerleading practice. 

That day's practice was going to be inside, in the basketball court. She changed into her gym clothes, put her hair up in a ponytail and went straight to were she was supposed to.

Most of the girls where already there, stretching and talking between them. Trixie was putting her water bottle in a nearby bench when she felt a presence behind her. 

"Trixie, how was your winter break?" 

She looked back at the girl that was talking to her. Fair skin, wavy brown hair and a defined jawline were some of the things that identified her. Trixie felt herself standing up straight, trying to match the girl's height. 

"Gigi." She turned around, fully facing her. "It was fine, thank you. Do you know what we will be doing today? I didn't get any actual indications from coach."

"Apparently there's new additions to the team, we're here to sort them out and familiarise them with the routine. Also, we need to start coming up for ideas of what we'll do for the tournament. It's only a couple of weeks away, there's no time to waste."

She smiled at Trixie before turning back around and going to check on the other girls. Trixie relaxed her posture, letting out a sigh of relief. She would be lying to say that the other girl didn't intimidate her. 

Trixie was known for having a "perfect" life, but the brunette was on an even higher level. Everything she did, she was the best at. Captain of the cheerleading team, member of the student council, successful public figure on Instagram, and an openly gay icon with just as an iconic girlfriend, Gigi Goode was at the top of the food chain. 

Naturally, a lot of people, (Trixie's parents included) thought of them as rivals. They assumed they were always competing for the spotlight, trying to prove something to eachother. However, that wasn't true. Gigi didn't do the things she did to compete with anyone, and Trixie was satisfied enough with her achievements that she didn't feel jealous of the other girl. 

The practice begin, being lighter than other times. They focused on introducing the new members of the team, three girls that had come with the exchange program, and on showing them their signature routine. 

Despite the training being something Trixie was used to doing, she felt herself getting tired quick. A numbing pain started to grow in her lower back, aching whenever she stretched or jumped. She decided to ignore it though, continuing with the work. 

Eventually they finished with the physical practice, and after sharing some ideas for what they were going to do for the tournament, they were ready to head home. 

Trixie was in the dressing rooms, changing her shirt when she felt it. A familiar sensation, making her immediately anxious. She quickly shuffled through her stuff, desperately looking for something to help, when she realised she didn't have anything at hand. 

Gigi, who was changing next to her, noticed her anxiety.

"Woah, are you ok? What's happening?"

"Ummmm..." Trixie turned to her, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Do you happen to carry any tampons? I didn't bring any and well... I really need one right now" 

"Alright well... I don't have any tampons, but I have a pad. Is that alright?"

"Yes, it's perfect, thank you." Trixie grabbed the small square in her hands, rushing to the bathroom. She didn't expect her period to arrive that soon, so she was highly unprepared. She sighed as she placed the pad on. She wasn't used to wearing them, so the feeling made her uncomfortable. That, and the fact that her cramps were starting to get bad.

Finally she was able to finish changing back into her regular clothes, and when she arrived to the school entrance, Kim was already waiting for her. 

She hopped in the car, wanting to get home. She would take a nice hot shower, eat ice-cream and lay in bed to watch Netflix. 

"Damn it! My mom is going to kill me." Said Kim out of nowhere, after taking a look at the stereo screen, which showed the hour. 

"What? Why?"

"She asked me to pick her up from her yoga class, I forgot about it and I have to be there in ten minutes. I'm not going to make in time."

"You can drop me here, I can walk the rest of the way."

"... Are you sure? You look pretty uncomfortable, I wouldn't want you feeling worse."

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me. Go pick up your mom." Trixie smiled, to help reassure her friend.

"Ok then." Kim said, as she pulled over to the side for Trixie to get down. "I'm sorry I did this, I owe you one."

"It's ok Kim, thanks for the ride." Trixie got down of the car, and watched as her friend drove away. She wasn't that far from her house, but she had lied when she said it was ok. The last thing she wanted to do at that moment was walk, but she tried to shrug the feeling off as she started her path.

She was only a couple of houses away, when she received a text.

****
    
    
      **Mommager**
    

__
    
    
      _Busy with meetings all afternoon, we'll get home at around 9. There's food in the fridge, take care. xx_
    
    
    
      _5:27pm_
    

Trixie rolled her eyes, unsurprised by the text. She was used to her parents dedicating their entire life to their work, so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. 

Despite that, it still made her a little happy. She was looking forward to spending time on her own. She would have to charge her phone though, for it was starting to run low on battery and would die soon.

She continued to walk, quickly arriving at her front porch. She reached into her bag to take out her keys and... 

"You've got to be kidding me." Trixie said to herself as she frantically searched through her stuff. The keys were not in the bag, as she was able to prove after emptying all the contents of her purse into the ground.

She knelt down to pick everything back up, starting to get annoyed. Her day was already not going great, and getting stuck outside of her house didn't sound necessarily fun at the moment. 

She started to walk around the house, looking for an open window or any other way of "breaking in". After ten or so minutes she realised that was unsuccessful. There was no way to get in the house, at least not an easy one.

Determined, she tried lifting up the windows, but all of them were locked. The only unlocked one was the one in her bedroom, she could reach it if she climbed the tree that was next to it, but with the awful cramps she was having and the uncomfortable pad, that wasn't an option.

She stood in her place, analyzing the house for another way to break in, when a drop of water hit her shoulder. And then another, and another.

She realised a second too late what was happening, and soon a courtain of heavy, cold rain was falling down on her.

She rushed to the front porch, trying to shelter herself from the rain. It wasn't completely successful, for the roof was very small and the wind pushed the water, making it go sideways. 

She pushed herself against the wall as much as she could, holding her purse against her chest. She slid down to a sitting position, while her entire body got wet thanks to the rain.

She tried to hold it back as much she could, but frustration tears soon arrived. Her day was going awful, she was in pain, feeling gross and uncomfortable, locked outside of her house and soaking from head to toe. 

After a couple of sobby minutes, she tried to calm down, resting her head on her knees and coming up with a plan. If she waited some more, she could ask Kim to pick her up and take her to her house. Or maybe call her mom to let her know she forgot her keys.... 

So, she waited, staying in her fetal like position for about twenty more minutes. The rain didn't cease, it kept pouring as hard, if not harder, than it was. Soon enough Trixie found herself shivering, getting cold from the wind and wet clothes that stuck to her body.

She was close to tears again, when she heard a voice coming from only a couple of meters away.

"Hey, you alive in there?"

She lifted her gaze up, wiping her eyes from the water dripping down her face. In the entrance of the property stood a girl that looked around her age. She was wearing black leather in her jacket and jeans, her feet covered by thick red boots with many buckles on them. Above her head she was holding an umbrella.

When she noticed Trixie was looking at her, she took a couple of steps forward, letting her take a better look. When she saw her properly, her heart skipped a beat.

The girl was beautiful, gorgeous even. She had a defined bone structure, with blonde waves falling just below her shoulders and a courtain of bangs framing her face. Her lips, tinted with bold red lipstick, were the shape of a heart. However, what stood out the most to Trixie were her eyes. They looked like a combination between green and blue, framed by a gradient eyeshadow and dark mascara. 

Trixie realized she was staring, drifting her eyes away. She suddenly became self conscious of how she looked. Dripping wet clothes, hair flat from the water weight, and runny mascara that left her with two black streaks across her face. 

She wiped the streaks away, looking back up at the girl.

"Sorry for barging in, but you look like you need a hand. Seems like the rain was rough on you." The girl was talking loudly, trying to have her voice be heard over the sound of the falling drops.

"That's an understatement." Trixie muttered, mostly to herself.

"So, do you want to come inside? I'm assuming you're staying out here because you got locked outside, doesn't really seem like you're doing it for fun. I live six houses down the street, you can have some shelter from the rain and dry up a bit. What do you say?" 

Trixie made eye contact with the other girl, weary of her. 

"I don't know you. How do I know you won't try to murder me, rob me or kidnap me?"

"I don't know you either. You could do the first two things to me as well." 

"Then why bother?"

"Because. You look pretty miserable like that, no offense. Plus, we're in a protected neighborhood with constant surveillance. Even if I tried to do something to you, I'd get stopped pretty quickly. So, do you want to get dry and away from the rain, or stay out here with the risk of getting pneumonia?" She reached out her hand to Trixie, waiting for her to take it.

She debated whether she should do it or not for a couple of seconds, before mentally saying _screw it_ , and letting her help her up.

She grabbed her purse, and followed the mysterious girl down the street. She pulled out her phone, going into the group chat she had with her friends.

` **The four hoes of the apocalypse** `
    
    
      **Trix are for kids**
    
    
    
      _I'm going with a stranger to her house. it's six houses down the street from mine. if I die y'all know why. blonde, blue eyes. wish me luck xx._
    
    
    
      _6:22 pm_
    
    
    
      **Leg-omi Smalls**
    
    
    
      _YOU'RE DOING WHAT?!_
    
    
    
      _6:06pm_
    
    
    
      **Bob the builder**
    

_typing..._

She didn't get to see the text though, because her phone died. She put it back in her purse, changing her attention to the blue eyed girl, while she rubbed her hands in her arms for the cold. 

The girl next to her was about the same height, maybe slightly taller. She walked with confidence, with a strong pace. The umbrella was barely big enough for both of them, so part of her hair was starting to get wet.

She noticed Trixie looking at her, and she gave her a smile that made Trixie blush, drifting her eyes to the sidewalk. 

They reached the girls house, and soon they were both in the entrance, the temperature shifting drastically as the girl closed the door behind them.

The inside of the house was significantly warmer, a relief for Trixie's cold skin.

She awkwardly stood on the entrance, dripping with water, making a small puddle where she was standing.

"Wait here, I'll get you a towel so you can dry off." The blue eyed girl ran up the stairs, leaving Trixie by herself. 

She looked around the house, taking it in. The structure was the same as hers, all the houses in that neighborhood had been built by the same base. However, the decoration caught her eye. It was minimalistic and modern, not very colourful. Everything was either grey, black, white or brown, keeping it simple but giving almost a sofisticated vibe.

In the corners of the house laid unopened boxes, and what she could see from the kitchen area appeared to be a mess, the counter filled with junk and smaller boxes. 

Her mind was puzzled, noticing the clear dissonance between the house decoration and the physical appearance of the girl. It didn't feel like she would be the type to keep her home looking like that.

Eventually the girl in question came down the stairs, carrying a large fluffy white towel. She handed it to Trixie, and she put it above her head, the towel covering her up like a cocoon. 

"Thanks." 

"No problem. You can sit in the couch while you dry. I would turn on the chimney but I don't know how, and I don't want the house burning down."

"It's ok, don't worry." Trixie sat down in the grey couch, being absorbed by the cushions. She rubbed the towel against her body, trying to get rid of as much water as she could. She was doing that when she lifted up her gaze.

The other girl was standing next to the door, where she has just been. She was shaking off her hair to get rid of the water it had caught, and she took off her leather jacket in a swift movement.

Trixie's heart stopped for a second when the jacket was off. Underneath it, the girl was wearing a graffic white shirt, cropped just above her waist. Trixie's eyes drifted a little further to the top, analyzing the girl's arms. They had some muscle, she definitely worked out in some way, and they were covered in all different kinds of tattoos. From a tarot card, to little cats in her hands she hadn't noticed before, they definitely called for attention.

Trixie didn't know how to feel. If she wasn't intimidated by the girl before, she definitely was now. She wasn't used to seeing someone look so... rebellious. Her parents would _never_ let her get a tattoo, and probably wouldn't like her to go out dressed as the other girl was. 

She gulped down, trying to push her thoughts away. That, and the strange electric feeling that was going through her body.

The girl turned around, putting her hair in a messy bun, which made it harder for Trixie not to focus on her arms. Or, her even more exposed abdomen. 

"Do you want something to drink? I have water, coffee... a red bull? beer?"

"No thanks, I'm fine." 

"A lot of people say that often, you know? 'I'm fine'."

"Maybe because I am." 

The blue eyed laughed at the comment, before going into the kitchen and coming back with a can of red bull for herself. 

She sat down in the couch across from were Trixie was sitting, slowly taking sips of her drink.

"So, we didn't properly introduce. I'm Katya."

"Trixie." 

"Nice to meet you Trixie. I take it you don't go to the same school I do, because I didn't see you there. So I'm assuming you go to Spring Hill?"

"Yup, that's the one. And let me guess, Pinewood?"

"Also yes." Trixie nodded to let her know she had heard her answer. She didn't know what to say. It was known that Spring Hill and Pinewood High had been rivals since the beginning of time. Their students despised eachother, and they had a huge sense of rivarly and competition with one another. 

They were always fighting to see who was best. Their tournaments, competitions, rankings, student grades, awards and success rates, were some of the things they constantly tried to out do eachother in. 

So the fact that she was being sheltered by a girl that went to Pinewood, felt wrong, almost out of place.

The silence was starting to get awkward, so Trixie decided to break it.

"How come I've never see you before? I know most people in the neighborhood, and I'm pretty sure you're new. Yet your house doesn't look... well, new."

"That's because I am. I moved in yesterday and I haven't had time to unpack everything, hence the mess from the boxes. It's not actually _my_ house though, it's my aunt's."

Trixie suddenly felt nervous by the tought of a woman going into her house only to find a strange girl wrapped in a towel sitting in her couch. Katya seemed to read her expression, because she quickly started to move her hands in a negation form.

"Oh no no no, don't worry she doesn't live here. Not for now at least. She's in some cruise for her work, and she needed someone to take care of the house. I didn't want to stay back home, so I offered to help her with that. Which is why I'm here for the next six months."

"Six months? So you're an exchange?"

"Indeed, all the way from Russia, mama."

"Hold on." Trixie said while leaning forward, trying to organise her thoughts. "So, you took an exchange to come study in the other side of the world... just to do house sitting?"

"Yeah, what's with it?" 

Trixie was clearly shocked. That move was so... spontaneous. So out of the blue, unplanned. She could never do such a thing. Specially not just to do some house sitting. Most exchange students went there with the intention to learn more, about a different culture and about school subjects from a different perspective. This was the first time she heard of an exchange that was there for non-educational reasons. 

"Don't look so worried Barbie doll, I'm better off here than I was there." 

"What did you just call me??"

"Barbie doll. Come on, don't tell me you don't see it. All pink posh outfit, long blonde hair, a nice figure and a pretty face. It fits." 

Trixie blushed because of the last two comments, getting flustered immediately. She wanted to get out of there, that girl was way out of her comfort zone. She had never encountered someone with such a blunt, straight forward attitude, that didn't filter her thoughts. 

"Do you have a charger I can borrow? My phone died." 

Katya nodded, reaching out to pass her the white cord. Trixie plugged her phone in, wondering what to do while it charged. 

"Do you have a bathroom I could use?... Sorry for all the requests."

"Don't worry about it, I did offer to help after all. There's one down the hall, it's the wooden door at the left."

Trixie went down the hall and into the bathroom, sighing when she closed the door. She took a couple of seconds to regain her breath, trying to calm her pulse down.

She drained her hair in the sink, shaking the rest of the water off. She grabbed a bit of the sink water, wiping away what was left of her mascara. 

She sighed, leaning against the wall. The girl down the hall confused her, made her nervous, intimidated her, and made her feel like she didn't have control. Trixie hated that. 

She took another look in the mirror, turning around to fix her clothes, when she felt her heart drop to her feet.

In the back of her white tight skirt, was a big red stain. She cursed at the mirror, feeling that frustration again. That skirt was practically new, and it now was ruined. That frustration, however, quickly got replaced by anxiety. 

_The couch. Did I stain the couch?_

She walked out of the bathroom, walking with her hands trying to cover up the stain. Katya wasn't in the living room, so Trixie used that chance to go check her old seat. She sighed in relief when she didn't find a stain in the couch, it was all clear.

She reached to her phone, it was charged enough for the screen to turn on. She unplugged it, immediately calling her mom.

_Pick up, pick up, pick up._

"This better be an emergency, I had to get out of a meeting"

"Hi mom, sorry for disturbing. I just... I forgot my keys. And it's raining pretty badly." She held her breath, expecting to be yelled at, scolded, lectured for her irresponsible behaviour.

Instead, she heard a sigh across the line.

"I don't have time for this right now. I'll send you my keys with one of the secretaries. Don't let this happen again"

Trixie didn't get any chance to say anything, because after saying that, her mother hung up.

She stood in her place, plugging the phone back in. 

Katya was nowhere to be seen, and she didn't want to sit in the couch, she was worried if she did she would for sure leave a stain this time. So, she stood in the corner of the room, with her hands on her back. 

A couple of minutes later, Katya came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her jeans. She must've been washing some dishes, for they were wet.

They stared at eachother for a while, nobody saying anything.

"Ok, you're for sure hiding something. Which in normal situations wouldn't be any of my business, but considering you're a stranger in my house, you're starting to look a little suspicious, Barbie doll."

Trixie sighed, the many emotions she had felt that day leaving her drained. She figured there was no point in hiding it or being embarrassed, it would only make her look even more suspicious.

"I stained my skirt. I didn't want to sit down again to protect your couch." 

"Oh... Oh!" Katya widened her eyes when she realised what Trixie meant. "Wait there, I'll be right back."

Katya stormed up the stairs once again, leaving Trixie awkwardly standing by her own. A couple of minutes later she came back, holding something in her hands.

She walked to were Trixie was, reaching the object out to her.

She grabbed it, spreading it out. It was a flannel button up shirt with long sleeves. She didn't know what to say, it wasn't something she was expecting.

"Put it on, it's a pretty long shirt so it should cover up the back of your skirt. It should be enough for the walk home."

"I can't accept this. I'll stain it too."

"It's ok. Trust on me on this, it's fine. I've been on your shoes many times, and walking around with a visible stain is no fun."

"Thanks." Trixie said, as she put the shirt on top of her clothes. Like Katya had said, it was pretty long and went below her skirt. "When will I give it back though?"

"I have the feeling we'll be seeing eachother more often. So next time we meet?" Trixie smiled, nodding in agreement. Despite her being a little intimidated by the other girl, she felt strangely drawn into her, having the feeling of wanting more.

She headed back to her phone, suddenly filled with notifications from her group chat. Everybody was getting worried at the sudden lack of answers from her side, so she sent some texts to let everyone know she was alive and well.

After doing that, she sat down back in her place, sharing only a couple of words with Katya. They talked for a little while about the weather and nail polish, and eventually Trixie got a call from the secretary saying that they were almost at the house and for her to be ready.

She quickly explained the situation to Katya, and she offered to walk her back home, for it was still raining and Trixie could use the umbrella.

They walked back home, and eventually they were standing at the front porch of Trixie's house. 

"So... not to throw you away, but I think it's best if I'm alone when the secretary arrives. If he sees I'm with someone, he'll tell my mom and that will raise questions I don't feel like answering." 

"Alright, then, I'll leave you to it. It was nice meeting you, Barbie doll. And make sure to wash your skirt as soon as you can, the more you wait the harder it'll be to take the stain off."

"I will. Thank you for everything."

"Anyday. See you around then." Katya turned around, starting to walk away.

"Oh, and... Katya?" She turned around at the mention of her name, making eye contact with Trixie. "It was nice meeting you too." She smiled back at her, making Trixie's heart skip yet another beat. 

A couple of minutes later, the secretary arrived and Trixie quickly grabbed the keys, finally going inside her house. 

She immediately stepped into the shower, feeling instantly refreshed. She used the opportunity to wash her skirt, and just like Katya had said, the stain came off easily.

She stepped out of the shower, drying her hair off and putting on her pajamas. She took a pill for the pain of her cramps, and walked downstairs for dinner.

Eventually she went back to her room, following her original plans of watching Netflix while eating ice-cream.

Her parents arrived a little after nine, and they weren't super eager to talk with her, so they just exchanged a couple of words. 

Trixie finished her night routine, ready to go to bed, when she realised she had left Katya's shirt dropped in a corner of her bedroom's floor. 

She picked it up, feeling the soft fabric. Without realising what she was doing, she pulled it up to her nose, taking in the scent. 

It was a mix between cigarettes and a fruity, orange like scent. She melted into the shirt, letting it fill her senses. She found herself smiling against the fabric, finding it comforting.

When she realised what she was doing though, she quickly pushed the shirt away from her face, blood rushing to her head. 

She folded the shirt down and gently placed it in a drawer from her closet, before going back to bed. 

Once laying there, she closed here eyes, drifting easily into sleep after the draining day, her thoughts filled with red lipstick and pretty blue-green eyes.


	2. Training practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're on to chapter two! 
> 
> This took a while to write because I kept getting stuck on the begining, but it all came together at the end. I'm excited for the next chapters to come, because now that they've met we can have a lot more moments of them together, so I hope you look forward to it too :)
> 
> (btw, there's the mention of a girl here who isn't any of the queens, or anybody I know personally. I got the last name in a random generator so don't over analyse her)
> 
> That being said, stay safe, hydrated and gay. Enjoy!

//TW: Mention of a slur in a hateful way//

-  
-

Trixie sat down in her usual spot, stealing one of Kim's fries in the process.

"Hey, that's mine!" 

" _Ours. _" she said, before eating the fry.__

____

____

She settled in her place, and a couple of seconds later, Bob and Naomi arrived. The four girls talked cheerfully, eating their food on their breaks and laughing at the comments the others made.

"Oh by the way, are you guys assigned to do something tomorrow?" asked Bob, changing the topic.

"I have practice with the team, so yeah." answered Trixie, stealing another one of Kim's fries.

The sports tournament was a big anual event, in which all the schools from the state gathered to compete in their different sport areas, battling for the first place and title of school with the best sporting opportunities. This event was only one week away now, and the entire school was preparing for it.

The cheerleading team had already come up with a pretty solid routine. However, they weren't the only team that was going to be at the event. All the other schools were taking their cheerleaders to show support for their players, and everyday two teams were assigned to do an opening number for the tournament.

This year, they had the luck to be paired up with Pinewood high, and nobody was happy about it.

The two schools had a big rivarly since the beginning of times, and the students didn't like eachother. So the idea of having to not only spend time together, but make a routine that involved the two cheerleading teams, was enough to make Trixie worried.

She didn't like the girls from the cheerleading team. Specially their captain. She was annoying, stubborn, rude and intense. She mentally wished luck to Gigi for having to deal with her in meetings and organisations.

The girls continued to talk, but Trixie couldn't stop thinking about what was going to go down the next day. 

They weren't going to have class, and instead all the students were going to be preparing for the tournament, for the first event was going to be held there. Even the ones that weren't involved with sports had a job to do, helping in their own way.

This meant that the team from Pinewood was going to go to their school so they could make and practice their routine, since they only had one week to be ready.

Trixie dreaded this encounter, but she knew it was better to just go along with it, so it would be over fast.

Eventually she snapped out of her thoughts, going back to reality when she realised Kim was now the one stealing her food. The girls laughed it out, and the rest of the day went by in a blurr.

-  
-

The next morning, as soon as Trixie woke up, her thoughts went straight to the practice happening that day. She sighed as she tugged her curls away from her face, getting up from her bed.

As she brushed her hair in front of her bright mirror lights, she felt her anxiety grow in the pit of her stomach. She had a bad feeling about the practice, like something was going to go wrong.

She tried to shake the feeling off as she did the rest of her routine and hopped in the car with Kim.

"I bought iced coffee, yours is the one with the lid."

"Thanks Kim, I need one right now."

"Oh that's right, you have practice with the girls from Pinewood. Yikes, good luck on that, Trix. I would rather run a marathon than spend an entire day with them. I haven't met a single one that's nice. Although, the girl that helped you the other week was a student from there right? Maybe she's the exception."

Trixie nodded, while she sipped her ice coffee. It had been almost two weeks since Katya had helped her out, and the girls hadn't met again since. 

Trixie would be lying to say she was glad about that fact. She wished to see the other girl again, even from a distance, but they hadn't run into one another a single time. She still kept her shirt neatly folded in her drawer, and everyday that passed she wondered if she'd ever get a chance to give it back. 

She also hadn't told her parents about the encounter, they didn't need to know about it or the foreign piece of clothing she guarded so safely. The only ones that knew about what really happened that evening were her close friends, and every now and then they teased her about it.

"What are you going to do today? I don't know what the theatre team can do in this event." Asked Trixie, trying to change the topic.

"We're doing decorations", answered Kim. "Well, the actors will be in charge of welcoming the other students and parents at the entrance, so they're not coming in today, but the rest of us will be doing this really big mural of the school mascots together." 

"How big is big?"

"Like ... really big. It's about the size of the gym wall."

"Damn, and how much have you done already?"

"About two thirds of it, but we still need..." 

The girls kept talking, and soon they had arrived at the school. As soon as Trixie stepped out of the car, a group of girls from the team crowded over her. One of them grabbed her by the arm with urgency.

"Come on, we need to get to practice. The girls from Pinewood arrived a while ago and we're going crazy with them just hanging around in the yard. The sooner we start the better." Said the girl that was holding Trixie's arm, already pulling her towards the entrance.

Trixie looked halfway to her back, smiling to Kim as she was pulled away. The other girl just laughed, waving a goodbye that Trixie wasn't able to wave back.

Once inside the school, she was rushed to the changing rooms, where she slipped into her sport clothes. A simple black polyester tank top, and a matching plaid skirt. 

She put her hair up in a ponytail, and as soon as she closed her locker, she went out to the field.

The practice was going to happen in the football field, which was outside. The space was huge, the floor covered in soft green grass, and the benches rising high to the sides with a bright blue colour. 

Because of the space, it had to be shared. On the right side of the field, the football team was warming up, doing the final stretches and a few of them running around the designated area. To the left, they were two circles formed by girls, one from Trixie's team and the other from Pinewood.

She joined her team, as they began stretching and getting ready to start. Trixie realised pretty soon that their outfit was not the best. All the girls from the team were visibly cold, with their sleeveless shirts and skirts.

Trixie rubbed her arms to warm them up, as she looked to the girls from Pinewood, in their own stretching circle on the other corner of their space. They were also wearing skirts, but unlike them, they had matching jackets on. 

On their backs, the jackets had the initial of their first name, and a part of their last name. In the front, the school logo. All perfectly designed, with matching colours and patterns. Trixie rolled her eyes, the sight of the school uniform enough to make her annoyed.

They finished stretching, and Gigi walked up to a spot where all the girls could see her.

"Alright, first of all, good morning. I'd like to apologize for the cold, I know our uniforms are not properly equipped for it, but it's never stopped us before." The team smiled, already getting the good mood back.

"Now, I also know you don't like the girls from Pinewood, but we have no other choice. And we can't let that stop us from doing what we know how to do best. A professional, good, and amazing routine that they won't forget. So let's not let them get to our heads, and instead focus on showing them what we can do."

The team got visibly excited, thanks to the words of their captain. Trixie herself felt a little better, smiling at Gigi as a 'thank you' for the words.

"Ok everyone, the coach should be here in a few moments so we can start making the new routine. Take a little break while we wait, and we'll meet back up in ten. Oh and... try not to get distracted by the football players, ladies." The girls laughed, and the circle split into smaller pieces as the friend groups joined together.

Trixie talked with a couple of girls for a little while, before going to sit on a bench. On the opposite end, a group of three Pinewood girls sat talking. She tried not to pay much attention to them, while she layed in her own spot a couple of meters away. She proped herself up with her elbows by laying on the back row, watching the football players instead.

They were no longer warming up, (they must've started before the team even got there), and were now doing a match with the team split in two. 

Trixie was watching the match, not really understanding what was going on, when suddenly one of the balls they were playing with bolted across the field into the benches where Trixie was sitting. She acted quick, dodging the hit, but one of the other girls wasn't, the ball hitting her in the head.

Trixie glanced at the girl, she was sitting with her back to the players, the reason why she didn't see the ball. Her jacket read _Y. Zamo _.__

__Immediately, the boy from the team that had thrown it came running, saying sorry to the girl. When she turned to see who it was, Trixie's heart stopped._ _

__It was Katya, looking as beautiful as she was, wearing Pinewood's uniform and with her hair tied up in half a ponytail._ _

__She stepped down from the benches, walking up to the boy, returning the ball._ _

__"Careful, I might sue you next time." She said to him, in a teasing way._ _

__"Sorry!!" The boy said as he ran back to his team._ _

__Katya turned around, with the intention to go back to her spot, when she locked eyes with Trixie._ _

__"Trixie? Didn't expect to see you here." Without asking for permission, she stepped up, sitting down next to her. "I didn't know you were in the cheerleading team."_ _

__"I didn't know you were, either. So, 'Y. Zamo', huh? I'm guessing you have two names then?"_ _

__Katya laughed, showing her somehow perfect white teeth. "Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova, to be more precise. But everyone calls me Katya."_ _

__"Wait so... you're actually russian?" Trixie asked, visibly shocked. She then immediately realized how awful that had sound. "I'm sorry if that came off as rude, I just... assumed you just lived there, since you don't have an accent."_ _

__"I know, that's because I actually grew up here. We moved back to Russia about two years ago, but now I'm back. And don't worry about it being rude, I don't think it was." She smiled once again, making Trixie automatically smile in response. She hadn't been this close to the girl in a while, and the proximity made her both nervous and excited at the same time._ _

__"So, it only seems fair that you tell me your full name now that you know mine, Barbie doll."_ _

__"Hmmm, should I? you could still hunt me down and murder me." She said, teasing Katya._ _

"Don't try to escape it beautiful, I'll find out eventually." Katya said, as she started to lean in towards Trixie.

"Is that so?" She answered, staying in her place. She was closer to Katya that they had ever been before, her blue-green eyes shining under the morning sun. Blush started rising to her face, the proximity making her excited. However, they had a game of teasing going on, and she wasn't about to loose. "And how exactly do you plan on doing..."

"Miss Zamolodchikova, Miss Mattel." Said a voice that made both girls startled, immediately pulling back. In front of them stood the coach, looking down at them with her hands crossed behind her back.

"Coach, hello." Trixie said, as she regained her posture.

"Yes, hello girls. If you follow me please, we're about to begin." The coach turned around, walking to were the other girls were standing. As soon as she left, Katya started laughing, before getting up.

"So, Mattel, huh? Guess you _are_ a Barbie doll after all." Trixie rolled her eyes as the other girl continued laughing. She also got up from her spot, and together they walked down the benches and into the yard.

Once there, they settled into their teams, taking formation so they could see the coach, standing in the middle. As Trixie watched Katya settle with her team, she noticed her being greeted by one of the girls. _A. Thunder_ , as her jacket read. 

Trixie rolled her eyes, before shifting her gaze away. She hadn't had any encounters with the team captain yet, and was expecting to keep it that way. 

Once everyone was in place, the coach began her speech.

"Good morning girls, I hope you are all doing well. Half of you know me already, and half of you don't. My name is Jaida Essence Hall, and I will be your coach for this routine. It's a pleasure to get to know the girls from Pinewood, and an even greater one to coach you. 

>Now, I am well aware that between you girls exist many differences, and you don't quite get along. But guess what? That doesn't matter anymore. During this tournament, I want you all to forget about whatever rivarly or issues you have with eachother, because whether you like it or not, right now we are a team. All of us. There's no two different teams, there's no two different sides. We are all working together and so I expect you to behave as such." Everyone looked around at eachother, untrust thick in the air.

"Because I am the coach of the girls from Spring Hill, I already have a working method that I hope you can all be comfortable in. I want you all to know that I'm here for you, and you can come to me for anything you need. I try to be understanding with everyone, and to favour your strengths. However, this doesn't mean working with me is simple, and this routine will certainly not be easy.

>You are going to sweat, be in pain, and have to put all your effort into the routine. I will not tolerate whining, complaining, or lacking out in regards to the routine and it's intensity. We are here to deliver a good, professional performance and that's exactly what we are going to do. Now, I expect you all to do a good job, but I have my eye set specifically on the co-captains, and captains. You are in your position for a reason, and I expect you to own up to it. I am aware that one of our co-captains have just recently entered both the spot and the team, but I hope that's not going to hold you back, Miss Zamolodchikova."

Trixie couldn't help but gasp. Katya was the co-captain? They only had been having class for three weeks, which meant that was her time in the team. _She must be **really** good if she's already in that spot_, Trixie thought to herself. 

She looked over at Katya, the girl looking back. She winked at her, before returning her gaze to the coach. 

"Alright, now that we have that clear, there's one last thing. As some of you know, I am also the coach of the football team, and they're the main stars of the tournament. So, I will not be here 24/7 to babysit you. If you have any questions or trouble when I'm not around, you can go to your captains, and in case they weren't around either, to your co-captains. Are there any questions, before we begin?"

Everyone was silent, not a single whisper being said.

"Very well, in that case, let's get started."

As promised, the routine was not easy. They already had the whole thing planned out, and just doing that was enough to get everyone tired. They still had to practice it intensively, until they mastered it. It was going to be a long day.

After the routine was settled, they took a break to drink some water and get prepared to properly start practicing. Everyone scattered around their side of the field, drinking from their bottles and sitting down to rest. 

Trixie didn't want to sit down, she was just starting to feel the energy rush that came with doing exercise. She drank water, and stood in her place, airing herself with her hands. The sun had advanced in the sky, shining right on top of them, making it warm. 

Some girls from Pinewood had taken their jackets off, but even then, their uniform was long sleeved. Now she was grateful for her sleeveless top.

"Trixie." Said a voice behind her. She turned around trying not to roll her eyes, recognising immediately the owner of it. "You've been oddly peaceful today, normally I get annoyed with you as soon as I arrive."

"Sadly I can't say the same, Alaska. I think it's impossible for you not to be annoying." The girl laughed at the comment, before scanning Trixie with her gaze.

"You look the same as always. Have you grown at all since freshman year?" Alaska said, with that annoying tone in her voice that Trixie despised.

"I have, actually. The question is, have _you_ grown up? Because to me you seem just as clueless as when you first arrived." 

The smile from the other girls face quickly faded into a frown. They stood in front of eachother, keeping eye contact, before the other girl got called by one of her teammates, finally breaking the stare down.

"See you around, Trixie. And please darling, don't mess up the routine. It'd be really embarrassing for all of us." She said, before turning around to go with her team.

Trixie just rolled her eyes, dismissing the comment. She had another sip of water before they received a call from the coach, everybody gathering back together. 

"Alright girls, now that we have a solid routine, I must leave. The confections club is done with the uniforms for the boys and we must go try them out. I will be away for a while, so Miss Thunder and Miss Goode are in charge. I expect you to continue rehearsing the routine, and get as much done as possible. This is the only reason why we're here today, so let's put it to good use." 

After the coach had left, they went back to practice. However, now that they were alone in the field, with no other authority or football players to get distracted with, the tension quickly started to grow.

"I don't want to be on the top of the pyramid. She barely has any arm strength, she almost dropped me the last time!"

"That's because you're heavy. I have enough arm strength to take you down if I wanted to."

That was only one of the many arguments that started among the girls. Gigi was trying her best to keep everyone calm (Alaska was pretending to help, not doing much), but the efforts only worked temporarily.

The situation only continued to escalate. Trixie got annoyed with the girls from Pinewood very quickly. All they knew how to do was complain. Aside from Katya, who was also trying to calm others down, they were all a pain in the ass. 

About an hour and a half had passed, when they reached the limit, getting into another argument.

"I'm done with you all, this is useless. None of you can do shit." Said one of the girls from Pinewood. Trixie had grown tired of her, specially. According to her uniform, her last name was Riddell. From the beginning she had been rude, complaining about everything, and with a face of disdain.

Trixie was trying to keep her cool, ignoring Riddell, but one of her teammates had enough. Soon they were in an argument, not only the two girls, but the entire two teams. Everyone was yelling, and a few girls looked like they were about to punch eachother.

Meanwhile, Trixie, Katya, Gigi, and (to her surprise) Alaska, were trying to get them to stop. But at this point it was useless, the argument was getting heated.

One of the girls threw a punch, unleashing chaos. Soon they were in an agressive rush of hitting, hair pulling, and tugging.

"WHATEVER IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Suddenly, all the girls fell quiet, the argument ending abruptly. They turned around, only to find a group of three people looking at them with a judging stare. 

The woman that had yelled stood tall and intimidating in her tailored suit. She was the principal of Spring Hill. A severe, strict and scary lady that everyone respected and nobody dared contradict. Behind her, stood the sub-principal, a man of her height that also commanded respect, but was known for being kinder to students. Next to him, the coach.

Everyone settled down, visibly embarrassed upon the authority figures.

"I believe this is supposed to be the practice of a cheerleading team made of teenage girls, not a fighting club of savage beasts. I am utterly disappointed at this behaviour. I've provided you with the use of the field, cutting it short for the football team so that you could rehearse. But clearly you've done plenty of that already."

Everyone lowered they sight, acknowledging the mistake. Trixie followed the movement, although she hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, she was frustrated that everyone was getting lectured thanks to their immaturity.

"I'm giving the field back to the boys. You're all done with the training for the day. However, don't think you can go home yet, the day is just starting. Everybody will go help out the other clubs, you will be assigned a task when you get there. And do not expect to use this place as a training spot again. Now pick up your stuff, I'll walk with you there since apparently you can't be trusted alone."

They all went to grab their bottles and jackets, in complete silence. Following the principal, they walked down the halls of the school and into the gym, where the theatre and confections team were working on.

On one side of the gym, the whole floor was covered in fabric and glitter. There were many tables with sewing machines, thread and scissors on them, as the members of the club made the outfits the cheer team was going to wear for the tournament. 

On the other side, the theatre club worked hard doing decorations. As Kim had told Trixie, a mural painting rose from the floor all the way to the roof, showing a nearly done painting of the mascots of the schools that were participating in the tournament. 

"Alright, the team captains will help the confections team, and the co-captains the theatre one. The rest of you split in two and choose which side you'll be on. And please, try to keep your behaviour."

Trixie walked up to Katya, as the rest of the girls decided which side they were going to help in. 

"This day is being a nightmare. I can't wait for it to be over." Said Trixie, standing close to the other girl.

"I'll second that opinion. These girls really don't like eachother huh?" Katya said, as she crossed her arms, looking at the rest of the team.

"Nope, they really don't. Actually, had I not met you the other day, I probably wouldn't like you either."

"Then I'm glad we met before." 

Trixie smiled, avoiding her eyes so that she wouldn't blush as much. Damn, she was attractive.

The group eventually split in two, and their side walked to the theatre section to get their task assigned. To Trixie's bad luck, Riddell was on her side. She tried to ignore her presence, being thankful that at least she didn't have to deal with Alaska as well.

They walked up to the theatre kids, and Trixie spotted Kim in the distance. She tried to signal to her friend, but she was too busy painting a decorative trophy. 

One of the boys from the team walked up to them, giving them brushes and buckets filled with black paint. 

"Alright, you will help us paint the back of the mural. There's some stairs you can go up through, and you will stand in the metal frames that go through the roof. It's pretty safe as long as you don't go around doing crazy things, so uhh... try to stay focused on painting. And don't worry, even if you fall, worst case scenario you will break a limb." 

Trixie gulped down, not really feeling any better by that last statement. The other girls didn't seem to feel any better either.

They each grabbed a bucket and a brush, and as they were told, they walked up to the frames. It was thick enough that they could walk and sit on them. They positioned themselves in a line, starting to paint the wall as soon as possible.

To Trixie's right stood Katya, painting the wall without putting much attention to it. Her mind seemed to be somewhere else, so she didn't try to make conversation.

A couple of silent minutes went by, before Trixie heard talking to her left.

"Be careful with that, you're going to stain my uniform." Said Riddell, trying to push away from one of the girls.

"No I won't, you're being dramatic. Don't push like that or you're going to throw me off the frame."

"Maybe I will, since you're being a major pain in the ass right now." 

"Stop it, both of you. There's been enough fighting for today, can we just focus on painting the damn wall?" Trixie said, snapping at both girls. She was tired of having to hear arguing, she just wanted to be able to do something at peace.

"Let me remind you two things, blondie." Said Riddell, shifting her attention towards Trixie. "Number one, this is not my fault, so don't come launching at me. And number two, you're not the boss around here, so I suggest you get rid of that superiority complex, because you really aren't that great." 

"Excuse me? I'm trying to save us from getting lectured again, this has nothing to do with you personally. You're the one coming for me."

"Oh so now I'm the invasive one? Come on, don't play innocent. Don't think we haven't noticed your little secret."

Trixie wanted to say something, but no words came to her mind. She didn't know what the girl was talking about, so she just stood there in silence, looking at her with a questioning look.

"Stop putting that dumbfounded face. We've all noticed you looking at us while we practice. Do you think we're blind? I don't know about the rest of these girls, but I don't feel comfortable with you lurking around us. At least your lame ass captain has some decency."

Trixie felt the rage that she had been accumulating throughout the day rise up in her throat. The other girls had stopped painting and were now silently looking at them, expecting to see what was going to happen next. She tried to conceal herself, but it wasn't easy.

"What's that supposed to mean, Riddell?" She said between her teeth, knowing her anger was starting to show.

"You know what it means. But since you're basically begging, it means I don't feel safe with a perverted dyke like you around."

That was it. That single word was enough to make Trixie loose whatever control of herself she had left. 

In a quick movement that she didn't really stop to think about, she grabbed her bucket of paint in her hands, taking a step towards the girl.

"Say that to me again and you'll regret ever opening your mouth, bitch." She said, before throwing the contents of the bucket towards her. 

The other girls screamed, when they realised what was happening. In the middle of the frame, Riddell was covered in black paint, dripping from her hair and covering her white cheer uniform.

She let out a loud, high pitched scream, before launching herself towards Trixie.

Everything else happened too fast. Suddenly Riddell had a hold of her, and was pulling her hair down. Trixie managed to escape her grip, and began trying to shake the girl off, when she stretched out her arms, pushing Trixie towards the edge that had an open fall. 

She felt herself falling backwards, starting to slip from the frame, when she was pulled back up by a pair of strong arms. She fell on top of Katya, who had saved her from the fall. 

"Are you out our your mind?! You pushed her off the frame! She could've got hurt, you psycho bitch." Yelled Katya, her breathing going just as fast as Trixie's.

Katya got up from the floor, covering Trixie up with her body. Meanwhile, she layed in her spot, watching from below. Her heart was still beating fast with adrenaline, a pile up from the argument, the near fall, and the being on top of Katya thing. 

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry." Riddell said, as she stepped back, and began to walk back to her spot. Katya was just starting to relax her posture, when the other girl turned around and tried to push her off the frame, in what seemed like a split second.

But Katya was stronger, and just as fast, she turned around, moving away from the edge in a quick reflex. This sent her back into the ground, the force of the spin causing her to fall down next to Trixie.

However, this meant that Riddell was left on the other side. And with the same strength that had pulled Katya down, she was launched into the edge, the paint in her shoes causing her to slip. Everyone watched in horror as she fell of the frame, hitting the cold floor of the gym with a thud.

Trixie's eyes widened, as she began to Imagine the worst. What if she was...? Katya noticed her panic and pulled her in, holding her tightly as they both tried to calm down their breathing.

"Oh my god, oh my god. I'm going to get help." Said one of the Spirng Hill girls as she rushed down. 

The rest of the girls quickly strated to descend the stairs, going to check on Riddell. One of them began running to get someone to help them, while the rest formed a circle around the girl.

Trixie peeked over the edge, scared of what she would find. To her relief, Riddell was alive, but she had tears running down her cheeks as she laid on the floor, saying something about her leg.

Trixie pulled back, resting her head on Katya's shoulder and closing her eyes shut. The adrenaline and emotions were too much, and she was so overwhelmed that words didn't make sense and she wasn't even sure of what was happening anymore.

The next moments were a blurr, as the medics rushed in to take paint-covered Riddell away for medical care. Some girls had started crying, and at some point Katya had started holding her hand.

They held on tightly to eachother, until the principal came in looking pretty mad, and she asked them both to follow her to her office.

Now, she was sitting in the waiting room, with Katya next to her, and a knot in her throat.

The adrenaline was just starting to come down, and she was so tired that she didn't even feel nervous about the fact that she was going to be lectured, and probably punished by the principal.

She sighed, resting her head in the wall behind her.

"Hey, it'll be alright Trix. Don't worry too much about it, whatever happens will happen."

"No Barbie doll this time, huh?"

"Well, you don't look exactly like a model right now."

Trixie found herself laughing with Katya, as she tried to fix her hair. She was right, she looked like a mess.

Next to her, the door finally opened, after waiting for twenty minutes.

"Miss Mattel, Miss Zamolodchikova, both of you come in, please." 

They both got up from their chairs, and Trixie felt the knot in her throat grow bigger. She looked over at Katya, who gave her a comforting smile. 

She took a deep breath, and she stepped into the office, ready to face her fate.


	3. Strawberry chapstick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So, as you will be able to see, this chapter has an art scene I made myself :) I know I'm not an exceptional artist, but it popped into my head and I HAD to do it. 
> 
> I will try to make more art scenes in the future if you guys would be into that! My art style is still changing and developing, in case future ones are different.
> 
> Also, this chapter was extremely fun to write! I personally loved it, but I'd like to know your thoughts.
> 
> I'll let you start reading now. As always, be gay, do crime, stay safe, and enjoy!

/// TW: Slight psychological abuse and mention of a slur (the event will be indicated with this symbol *) ///

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"Please, take a sit." Said the principal, as soon as they walked into the room. They both did as they were told, Katya sitting down to Trixie's right.

The older woman sat down behind her desk, crossing her arms above the polished wood, looking at them.

Trixie gulped down, her heart beating so fast she could hear it. She hoped the other two couldn't, she didn't want them to know how much anxiety she was feeling. Specially the oldest.

A couple of seconds went by, the only sound being the ticking of the clock that hung in the wall behind them.

"What you girls did today was highly irresponsible, and it could've ended in a very bad way. First of all I'd like you to keep peace of mind knowing that the injuries Miss Riddell has undercome are not life threating, and she will be alright after a couple of recovery months. That being said, well, there's many other things to discuss."

Trixie looked over at Katya, the girl looking back at her. Trixie was surprised by how relaxed Katya looked, she didn't seem to be under any type of distress, meanwhile she felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest.

"I've talked briefly to your teammates, and I'm aware of the situation that led you to doing what you did. What Miss Riddell said and did was absolutely not ok, and I'd like to apologize in behalf of her actions." She said, as she took a small break to fix up her glasses, who where sliding down. "However that being said, your form of acting it's not something we condone either."

Katya let out a barely oudly huff, in clear disagreement with the words. If the principal noticed this, she didn't mention it.

"I have communicated with the principal of your school, Miss Zamolodchikova, so that we could reach an agreement. As you might expect, you both will have to face the consequences of your actions. You must realise that what you've done is enough for you to both be kicked out of the team."

Trixie gulped again, tugging the ends of her skirt with her hands. Her anxiety was starting to be too much to be hidden. She felt it crawling up her body like a spider, settling in her fast beating heart, and giving her the impression that she wasn't breathing, even though she clearly was. Every breath felt like it was fake, like no air was going into her lungs. She tried to conceal the feeling, as she awaited for the woman's next words.

Underneath the table, Katya put her foot against Trixie's, slightly rubbing their ankles together. She was taken back from the action. Was she that obvious with her distress? Either way, the feeling helped her calm down a bit.

"Despite this fact, we've come to the decision to keep you not only in the team, but in your current positions. As much as we pretend otherwise, you are both very good members of the team, and you've earned your spot. We need you there to help the other girls, so you shouldn't worry about your stay." Trixie let out a breath of relief she didn't try to conceal. Her biggest worry was solved, she wasn't going to be kicked from the team.

Between that, and the soft touch of Katya's skin against hers, she started to slowly calm down. Her heart was still beating fast, but her hands unclenched, and her breath slowly started to feel normal again.

"Now, you still need to be held accountable for the damage you've caused. Not only did you waste a bucket of paint, but you sent a teammate to the hospital, and we can't let it slide. So, as you are both aware, the tournament will begin in a week, and the first event will be held here. We've been very busy with organisation, decoration and overall preparation of the school, and we need all the help we can get. Which is why you will be staying after class to help with the preparations and any other task the teachers deem appropriate.

>I am aware that this is not your school Miss Zamolodchikova, but as I said before, I've talked to the authorities of yours, and they have agreed on this. You will be expected to come here by the end of the school day, with a tolerance of 20 minutes. Will you face any trouble doing so?"

"No ma'am, I can make it just right." Answered Katya, looking straight at the principal. The woman smiled and nodded.

"Good. Then, if you don't have any more questions I believe that's all, girls." The three of them stood up, the principal walking them towards the exit. "Oh, and you've been dismissed for the day. I think you've both done plenty for today, so take the rest of the day off. See you on Monday to begin with your tasks."

And just like that, it was over. As soon as the door closed, Trixie felt herself relaxing again, letting out a sigh.

"I'm going to get my stuff. Want to come with me?" She asked Katya, who also seemed to relax her posture. She might've not seemed like it, but now Trixie realised she had been tense.

"Yeah, let's go."

Both of them walked down the halls, making their way to the changing rooms, where Trixie's stuff was kept.

"Oh wait, I'll go get mine too. I asked Alaska to look for it, give me a second." Said Katya, as she took a deviation and stormed back into the gym. Trixie waited outside, balancing on her feet to pass the time, and after a couple of minutes Katya came back.

She was carrying a small brown backpack, and her jacket was nowhere to be seen. "Let's go, Barbie doll."

They moved forward for a few meters, before Trixie broke silence.

"I didn't know you had a backpack with you. I didn't see you wearing it earlier."

"Yeah I'm not a big fan of carrying this thing around, so I asked Alaska to look out for it. I also gave her my jacket because it's also annoying to carry."

"You could just tie it around your waist."

"Yeah and screw up the sleeves? I'll pass."

Trixie laughed, surprising Katya. Based on the look on her face, she wasn't expecting that. "Sorry, it's just that you seem to be so carefree, I wasn't expecting you to care that much about the sleeves of a uniform."

"Laugh all you want beautiful, but looking this good needs attention."

Trixie laughed again, although she didn't disagree with either of the statements.

Eventually they reached the changing rooms. Katya sat down in a bench while Trixie opened her locker to look at the little mirror inside of it, taking down her hair to redo her ponytail.

She was untangling her hair with her fingers, the locker covering up her sight of the other girl. The only sound was the muffled match that the football team was having outside in the field, making the rooms mostly quiet.

"Hey, I couldn't say this before but... thanks for not letting me fall." Said Trixie, in almost a whisper. She was glad she couldn't see Katya, if she did she probably wouldn't have said that. She wasn't great at dealing with emotions, so not having to look at the person she was talking to, helped her open up. "I would've been the one in the hospital if it weren't for you. So... thank you."

"Of course, I couldn't let you fall. That bitch is insane for pushing you off."

"I did provoque her though, so it was partially my fault."

"What? No, don't say that. You were standing up for yourself. What she said was not ok, and the authorities of the school don't understand that. They've never been in a position in which they've been told words like that. They don't get to judge how you reacted."

"... Do you? Judge it?"

"No. Because I've also reacted like that before."

Trixie had finished doing her ponytail a long time ago, but just now did she close the door of the locker. She finally looked at Katya. The girl had a serious look on her face, all the jokes and cheekiness gone. She was being fully honest with her.

"You've been called like that before?" Trixie asked, keeping the eye contact.

"Many times to count, and many other similar words. At first they made me feel awful, they bothered me a lot, made me hate myself. But eventually I realised that if that's what they saw me as, that was their problem. Their words don't define me. However that doesn't mean it's ok to say them, and it makes me angry that a lot of people still do."

Trixie's heart was beating fast again. It was a little bit of anxiety, yes, but mostly because she had never talked about this with anyone before. At least not in such an honest, open way.

"So... you like girls." She felt a little stupid saying that, but Katya didn't look like she thought it was. Her expression didn't change.

"I'm a lesbian, yes. Do _you_ like girls?"

Trixie's heart skipped a beat, blood immediately rushing to her face. She wasn't expecting such a question, but then again Katya had proven to be a very forward person, so she wasn't sure why she was surprised.

"I...". She did. She really, really did. But she preferred not to think about it, hence the reason why none of her friends knew. That, and the fact that she couldn't, she wasn't allowed to.

Her family wouldn't accept it, and society wouldn't either. She had spent her entire life trying to fit into the standard that people expected of her. She started cheerleading and got herself in a high position, she got good grades, she wore the clothes that were in trend, and the makeup style that everyone was talking about. She was kind, helpful and friendly, an exceptional daughter for an exceptional family. Liking girls wasn't a part of that standard.

They expected her to have a boyfriend, to marry a man so that they could make a family as exceptional as hers. But she didn't want that. She wanted a girl's soft lips, not a boy's strong hands. She didn't want to just be a wife, she wanted to _have_ one.

But they didn't. And his dad made it very clear to her. He made it so clear that there was no mistaking, no room for misunderstanding. She wasn't allowed to like girls.

So nobody knew. It was her secret, the part of herself she tried to hide from everyone, including herself.

But as she stood in the empty changing room, looking at the girl sitting down in front of her, none of that seemed to matter. She was honest, and patient. She was understanding, and strong. She was _like her_.

So, she caught herself doing something she never thought she'd do. She took a breath in, standing straight, before answering her question.

"I do. I do too." She let the air out, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders, followed by a rush of adrenaline. _She knows, somebody knows_.

Katya smiled at her. She sincerely, out of heart smiled at her. Trixie saw the look on her eyes, she must've seen how hard it was for her to answer, hence why she didn't push it and decided to wait in silence as Trixie organized her thoughts.

She had only known her for two days, but she already felt close to her. She made her feel safe, secure. Trixie smiled too, the relief of letting those words out showering her in endorphins.

"So, are you taking the bus back home?" Katya asked, as the moment faded. They both grabbed their stuff and began walking towards the exit.

"Yup. A friend was supposed to drive me, but I don't feel like waiting for the school day to be over."

They walked down the empty halls, the school feeling weird without all the commotion that came with the classes. Their footsteps echoed, only enhancing the feeling.

"Do you like The Crimson movies? You know, the action ones of the assassin that becomes friend with some random girl?"

"Yeah, they're entertaining. Why?"

"Well the last one the saga just came out and since we got nothing better to do, I was wondering if you'd like to go watch it with me." Trixie stopped walking, taken back by the request. Katya stopped too, looking back at her.

"It's ok if you say no, maybe you already have plans or something. But, you know, we have all afternoon to do whatever we want. And also I needed an excuse to go with someone, I haven't reached the point in my life in which I go to the movies alone."

"Well..." Trixie thought about it for a little, but she couldn't find the downside. "Yeah, sure, let's go. I need a break after everything that's happened today."

Katya smiled at her, and they continued their walk. Soon they were boarding the bus that was going to drop them off at the mall.

The bus was empty, not a single soul in it besides the driver. They sat in the last row, the one under the back window. They put their purses in the corners, enjoying the space.

The bus began descending the hill where the school was, passing by a neighborhood.

"Look at these houses, they look even more expensive than the ones from our area." Katya was right, those were far more fancy. They had bigger yards, a more detailed design and a tile roof, in contrast with the flat terrace one they had.

"I wonder who lives in these. Probably some rich old men that do finances."

"Oh, you mean like this?" Katya spread her legs, sliding down the seat. She grabbed a strand of her hair to pretend to be a moustache, as she put up a bad impression of how the men looked like. Trixie started laughing, but Katya was just starting.

"I've dedicated my entire life to this company." She started saying, in an attempt of a British accent and a deep voice. "I still have unsolved business with the German mafia, and Marissa is filing the divorce papers, that gold digger." Katya broke character and started laughing, joining Trixie.

She was having the time of her life watching Katya do her impression, it was very on point yet very terrible at the same time.

"And what does Marissa look like?"

"Well, she was accused of being a gold digger, but she actually cared about him. He cheated on her with a lingerie model, which is why she left. She would be something like..."

Katya sat back up straight, crossing her legs and putting up her chin. She elevated her voice, making it high pitched. "Men don't know how to treat a real woman these days. Gold digging? As if I need his blood money. I can get what he gave me and more any day. Hm."

Both girls broke into laughter again, Katya leaning her weight into Trixie's knee. She had a very intense laugh, her whole body moving with it. Trixie liked it, it was unusual to find someone who laughed as freely as she did.

"Oh but what about the model?"

"Model?"

"Yeah, the one he cheated with. What does she look like?"

"I don't know, maybe she's just like..." Katya flopped back down into the seat, still leaning into Trixie's knee. She put her leg up in the window, before making a failed attempt at a sexy pose. "Unhhhh."

They both started laughing harder, which made Katya fall into the bus floor. Trixie was still laughing, but she helped her get back up.

The rest of the ride had a similar energy, both of them having fun and making jokes. Trixie was very happy, and the time she was spending with Katya had already helped her forget about what had happened that morning.

Eventually they reached the mall. They hopped down the bus and began walking around, looking at the stores while they headed to the cinema area.

Once there, they bought the tickets (Trixie insisted on paying hers but Katya refused and paid for both) and ordered snacks so they would have something to eat.

Soon enough they were in the room, waiting for the movie to start. Trixie felt a little awkward, sitting next to Katya in a dim lit place, but she tried not to mention that.

"So, we're doing this. It feels crazy how just an hour ago I thought I was going to break a bone from falling down a metal frame."

"Yeah, this day took a turn. I hope for the better, though."

Trixie smiled at Katya, reasurring her.

"Of course! This is exactly what I needed right now."

A couple of minutes of silence went by, as a couple more people walked in.

"At least it's empty. Not a lot of people go to the movies on a Friday morning." Katya pointed out. And she wasn't wrong, including them, they were only 7 people.

"Do you not like crowded spaces?" Trixie asked, as she grabbed a handful of popcorn.

"I don't mind them, but the movies is the one place I would rather not be filled. It increases the chances of getting annoying people around you."

"Fair enough."

"How about you? Do you like crowds?"

"I don't mind them either as long as they're not all over me."

Katya laughed, as she also grabbed some popcorn. A couple of seconds later the lights died down, the whole room getting dark as the movie started.

The popcorn and sweets lasted only about half of the movie length, but it didn't make it any less enjoyable.

They didn't talk much during the film, aside from a few comments regarding what was happening. Two hours later, and after it was over, they walked out of the movie area.

Trixie was still wiping away her tears, as Katya sighed.

"Damn, did they really have to end the saga like that? What kind of cruel person approved that?" Katya said, while Trixie nodded in response.

"This was supposed to be fun, not make me cry like a baby. It was his best friend!! We saw their relationship develop and they went and killed her like that."

"She was a mom too!" Added Katya, making Trixie feel even worse.

"Poor little Sophie had to be put up for adoption. The only positive thing for her that day was the free ice cream."

"Yeah... oh, talking about that. Do you want some? I saw a new store on our way here."

"Sure, why not?"

They walked down the halls of the mall for a little longer, before reaching the place Katya was talking about. It was painted with a bright neon blue, and the furniture was of all sorts of different colours.

Behind the counter was a boy around their age, maybe a little older. He smiled when they walked in, and he leaned into the counter as they walked around the place.

"Good morning ladies, what can get you on this day of skipping school?"

They both stopped in their tracks, looking back at him. He was smiling, expecting an answer.

"Don't worry, I won't call to let them know you left. Just a couple of years ago it was me doing that. Although, this is a rare sight, not gonna lie. A girl from Pinewood and a girl from Spring Hill hanging out together? The world isn't what it used to be." He added, leaning back to the wall.

Trixie looked at him for a little before recognizing him. His name was Todrick, and he was three years older. Trixie remembered seeing him around the school when she was a freshman, but they never talked much. Still, he was a nice guy.

"Yeah, we totally love defying the system." Said Katya in a sarcastic tone. Todrick just laughed, and she smiled too.

"For real though, what can I get you? We have the out of this world super intense variety of thirty flavours, which you can find in the sign behind me."

"I'll have an orange sorbet. You, Barbie doll?"

"Just classic Vanilla."

Katya made a shocked face, making Trixie confused. "Really? Who orders plain vanilla? That doesn't taste like anything!"

"Yes it does!" She argued back. "It tastes like Vanilla. That's the point."

Katya started laughing at her while Todrick prepared their ice-cream cones. She just rolled her eyes, ignoring the girl's comments.

A couple of minutes later he leaned back into the counter, holding the desserts.

"Here you go: orange sorbet and classic, flavourless, plain ass vanilla." Said Todrick, handing them their cones.

"You too?" Trixie sighed, as she grabbed her ice cream. Katya high fived Todrick, in a 'we're a team because we both agree vanilla sucks' type of way, while she just rolled her eyes again.

Eventually they said goodbye to the boy and walked out of the store, walking around the mall while they enjoyed their dessert.

Because of the day and hour, it was pretty much empty. They reached an open area, where they sat in a bench.

They talked about the movie for a little bit, and soon they had finished their ice creams. Now, they were left sitting next to eachother in silence.

It was very peaceful, that area of the mall was lit dimly, the roof painted in a way that made it look like the sky. In the centre there was a big fountain, surrounded by colored lights that danced in the water as it streamed down.

The only sound was that of the running water, for nobody else was around the area. The mood shifted to something more calm, relaxed. Eventually, Katya broke the silence.

"I saw how hard it was for you to come out to me today. You didn't have to do it." She said, in a voice so low, if someone else had been around they wouldn't have been able to hear it.

Trixie looked over at her, feeling her heart beat a little faster.

"I know. I wanted to do it though. I guess you just... made me feel safe. It's not something I tell a lot of people."

"Your friends don't know?" The blue eyed asked, not in a surpirsed or judging way, but out of sincere curiosity.

"No. I've never told anyone. Somebody once shamed me for it, so I've kept it a secret since."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad you felt safe enough with me to tell me. And don't worry, I won't out you to anyone."

"Yeah, thanks." Trixie said, but she was already lost in thought. Mentioning that night wasn't something she liked doing. It still haunted her, made her paranoid. It weighted over her everyday.

* _It was a warm night. Trixie had been training all day, hoping she would get into the cheerleading team. It was unlikely, she was a freshman and it was the middle of the school year, but the opportunity had risen with the arrival of the exchange students, and she was going to make the most of it._

_She lied down in her bed, drained and ready to sleep. However, she still had to do her night routine. She got back up, and into her bathroom to wash her face. When she arrived though, she realised she was out of soap._

_She sighed, annoyed by the fact. She couldn't not do it, so she went into her mother's bedroom to borrow hers. As she walked past her and into the bathroom, she felt a tug in her heart._

_Her mother layed in bed, sick of pneumonia. She was very weak because of the disease and the medicine, which caused her to sleep a lot. Trixie looked at her for a little before going back to her room._

_As she closed her door behind her, she got startled, seeing a figure standing next to her bed. It was her dad._

_"You scared me. I went to get..."_

_"Shush." He said, interrupting her. Trixie just blinked, surprised by the action._

_"Listen Trixie, I think it's time you understand a couple of things."_

_She gulped down, worry rising to her throat, when she realised he was holding her phone in his hand. He was clenching it, almost breaking it. She started to panic inside._

_"I saw your conversation with that little friend of yours. Talking about girls and how much you wanted to kiss one."_

_Her heart started beating even faster. He had gone through her texts, finding the conversation she held with an online friend. She didn't expect anybody to read that, specially not him._

_"First of all, you are going to stop talking to this girl. She is a terrible influence for you, getting ideas inside your head. Second, this whole... kissing girls things is over, you understand?"_

_Trixie clenched the bottle of soap, not daring to move._

_"You need to be aware of how wrong this is. It's not appropriate behaviour, we raised you better than this. What will the people say if they find out you want to kiss girls? Do you realise how bad that would make you look? How it would make all of us look?"_

_She felt tears behind her eyes, but she held them back. She was only going to get scolded further if she cried._

_"It would break your mother's heart. Which is why I'm not going to tell her. Can you imagine? Battling an illness and finding out your daughter's a dyke. That you have such a disgusting person living under your roof."_

_She lowered her gaze, trying as hard as she could to stop the tears from falling._

_"So I will let it slide, but don't let it happen again. Whatever ideas this whore got into your head, you get rid of them now. You do not like girls. You can't like girls, because proper, good women don't, and that's exactly what you are. You're just being a selfish brat, and that is unacceptable. So don't say, and specially don't do things like this again or the consequences will be more severe. I will not have a dyke for a daughter."_

_He left her phone in her bed and walked out of the room. As soon as he left she slid into the ground, tears immediately falling. She tried to conceal her sobs, to not be loud. Her heart felt like it had been stabbed, and she was close to throwing up._

_She sat down in her soft bed, grabbing her phone. Without thinking about it she went into the chat she had with her friend. She looked at it, thinking of all the hours they had spent talking, of how close they were, before hitting the block button and deleting it._

_She cried until she ran out of tears, the hurt and pain too much for her to handle._

_After a while, she just sat in her bed, feeling drained, with dried tears in her face and clothes._

_That night was the first night where she felt like she hated herself, like she was wrong, a mistake, a monster. She closed her eyes, leaning in her wall, shoving a piece of herself deep down where no one, not even herself, could reach it_

"Are you ok Barbie doll? your gaze darkened a bit there." Said Katya, bringing Trixie back to the present.

"I'm fine, I just got lost in my thoughts a bit."

"You seem really off today, like your mind is elsewhere. We need to shake that off, come on." She stood up in front of her, reaching her hand out for her to grab it.

"Come where?"

"Just... come on, I know how to clear up your head."

She grabbed her hand, and immediately Katya pulled her and started running. When Trixie realised what she was doing it was too late. Katya let go of her hand before jumping into the fountain, immediately drenching her clothes.

"Come on! Get in here before I make you come in myself."

"Katya! We're not allowed to get in the fountain, we could get arrested or something."

"There's no one here, nobody is going to notice. Now come on, don't make me chase after you."

"Oh screw it." Trixie said before getting into the fountain too. She got rid of her ponytail, her blond curls cascading down as they got soaking wet.

"See? Nothing better than fresh water to make you feel awake!" Said Katya, while she twirled under the stream.

Trixie looked at her in awe, mesmerized by the girl. She looked so carefree and happy... she looked free. Jumping into a mall fountain was something Trixie never would've done, and yet there she was, getting showered by water and colored lights as a rebellious russian girl danced and jumped around her.

She took the moment in, wishing it never had to end.

"Come on, don't just stand there." Katya grabbed water in her hands, before throwing it a her.

"Oh no you didn't! This is war now." Trixie said, as she imitated Katya, grabbing her own puddle of water and throwing it back at the girl.

Soon they were in a water fight, throwing as much as they could at eachother, running around and scream laughing.

Trixie hadn't had that much fun for who knows how long, and for just that moment she allowed herself to let go a bit. She didn't stop to think about the what ifs. She was aware they could get scolded or sick, their clothes could get ruined or they could get arrested. But she didn't care. She was having fun, and she wasn't hurting anyone. And for the first time in a long time, that was enough.

"Ok, ok, you win! I back down!" Said Katya, before jumping out of the fountain. Trixie follow her, and they both started laughing again when they realised they were dripping water everywhere.

They walked up to the fountain, drenching their hair and clothes.

"You know, I'm noticing a pattern here. Every time I hang out with you I end up getting wet from head to toe." Said Trixie, while she finished squeezing the water out of her hair.

"Hahaha, well, this is just the second day. We should wait and see what happens next time. Maybe I'll start carrying a water gun so I can be prepared when the moment arrives."

Trixie rolled her eyes, pushing Katya in a teasing way. They both walked to to the bench where they had been sitting, picking up their stuff.

"Let's walk around for a little so we can dry up."

And so they did. The mall was very big, and unlike the part where they had just been, the rest of it was very nicely illuminated, with the sunshine slipping through the windows.

"Hey, Barbie doll." Katya said after a while of walking, turning her attention to Trixie.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have any chapstick I can borrow? My lips got extremely chapped with the water."

"Sure, here you go." Trixie said as she pulled the little tube out of her purse. "It's strawberry flavoured, I hope you don't mind."

"It's great, thanks."

As Katya put on the chapstick, Trixie looked around that area of the mall. She hadn't been there yet, and when she turned her head to the right...

"Oh my goodness Katya, look! THEY HAVE PUPPIES!!!" She ran towards them, getting immediately excited. They were in a little playpen, getting watched by a girl. Behind them was a sign talking about how important adoption was, and the girl was wearing what seemed to be a uniform.

"Hi, how can I help you miss?" The girl said when she saw Trixie leaning over the playpen.

"Oh I just wanted to have a closer look. They're all so cute."

Behind her arrived Katya, who was in the process of zipping her bag closed. Trixie grabbed her by the arm, showing her the puppies.

Eventually Trixie ended up being allowed into the playpen, where she played and petted the dogs while Katya watched her with a smile on her face.

A couple of minutes later they thanked the girl, and decided it was time to go home. They hopped into the bus, this time sitting in regular seats.

The ride home was quick, and neither talked a lot during it. Trixie got into her group chat, telling her friends about her experience with the puppies.

Once they got to the entrance of the neighborhood, they hopped down and walked to their houses. Because Trixie's one was first, Katya accompanied her to the front door.

"Thanks for today. I really needed to clear my head after everything that went down. You helped me a lot with that, so... thank you, a lot." Trixie said, while she played with her house keys.

"No problem Barbie doll, I really like hanging out with you. Thanks for accepting my offer."

They both awkwardly smiled at eachother, no one really knowing what to do next. Katya started balancing on her feet, unsure on whether she should leave.

"So... I'll see you on Monday."

"See you on Monday. Bye beautiful."

"Bye Katya." She watched as the other girl walked down the porch and into the street. She looked back at her one last time, before starting her way toward her house. Trixie found herself smiling as she got into hers.

Her parents weren't home, so she went up to her room to pass the time while they arrived. It wasn't until a few minutes later that she realised she didn't have her chapstick with her.

She panicked for a few seconds, thinking she had lost it, when she remembered Katya hadn't given it back. She smiled at the thought, realising that now they both had something that belonged to the other.

She walked to to her closet, pulling out the shirt. She looked at it and smiled, once again wondering if it was ever going to be returned. She then wondered if Katya was thinking the same about her stuff.

She put it back in its place, before going to lay down on her bed.

Strawberry chapstick. The thought of Katya wearing it pulled out yet another smile from her, as she pictured the slight pink tint on the girls lips.

 _I'll have to buy another one_ she thought as she drifted of to sleep, taking a nap after the draining day.

Meanwhile, just a couple of houses down the road, a blonde russian girl leaned against her wall, taking in the sweet scent of strawberries; engraving it into her mind as she thought of soft blonde curls and big brown eyes.


	4. Rooftops and tight embraces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello hello! 
> 
> First of all, I know updates have been a little slow, but I've been struggling to find motivation and my mental health hasn't been great. I hope I was still able to write a good chapter though! 
> 
> Second, as I was writing I realized I messed up because in the time of the story it's Winter and because of the location there should've been snow. However it's too late to change that now so uh... blame it on climate change? haha I'm sorry about that detail 
> 
> But anygays, without further ado, enjoy!

The house was quiet, as it usually was. The only sound was that of the wind hitting the leaves of the plants outside. It was going to rain.

It was also dark, not a single light turned on. The room was dimly lit by the last sun rays peeking through the open window. Shadows cast around, giving a melancholic vibe to the empty space.

The bed and drawers stood as they had when she arrived, but the rest of the room had been emptied, all furniture and decorations put aside. Instead, boxes with her own stuff layed all around the floor, waiting to be opened and arranged. 

Katya sighed as she sat down in her bed, leaving her hair brush next to her. She closed her eyes, feeling a headache coming in. She hadn't had any cigarettes since the day before, and the effects were starting to set in.

Her leg was bouncing up and down, her head filled with the thought of going out for a smoke. She was about to stand up to do so, when her phone rang, making the bed vibrate in the process.

She reached over, taking the device. It was her aunt. 

"Hey." 

"Hey dear. How are you doing? Have you finished settling in?"

"I'm fine, everything is alright." She looked over at the unopened boxes, knowing she had twice the amount downstairs. "And yes, I'm done with my stuff."

"Very well, you know I want you to be comfortable." A pause. Katya gulped down, knowing what it meant. "On that note, have you talked to your mother yet, dear? She keeps calling me and you know I'm all for rebelling against my sister but I can't keep ignoring her forever. She thinks you're blackmailing me. Last time I was able to shift the topic, but I think she's starting to suspect that I'm helping you."

Katya sighed again, rubbing her fingers in her forehead. The pain was getting worse.

"No, I haven't. I will, soon. Just... Give me a couple of days and I will." 

"It's been three weeks Katya. You can't avoid her forever. You have to call her. I'm sorry but I won't continue to play dumb with her. You have until tomorrow to fix things up, I'm done being your cover. If you can't even face her through the phone, then maybe you shouldn't have done what you did."

"I know, I know. I'll call her tomorrow, I promise. Thank you for keeping up with me this much, you had no reason to do so."

"Don't worry about it, just try not to burn down my house. Anyway I gotta go, my break is almost over. Make sure you call her and... Please take care of yourself. Don't do anything stupid, Katya. I mean it."

"I won't. Thanks again, bye." The call ended, leaving Katya feeling more alone than before.

She flopped down onto her bed, putting her arm above her eyes. The pain was numbing, and she knew her aunt was saying the truth. She couldn't avoid her mom forever.

She layed in her bed, listening to the air and trying to drown away in her thoughts, wishing the situation was easier. She had always wanted to do things by herself, but she wasn't prepared for how lonely that would be. 

Just a couple of houses uptown, Trixie walked down her stairs for dinner. Her parents awaited downstairs, already sitting in the table.

She joined them and soon they were eating. It was quiet, aside from the sounds of the ceramic against the utensils, nobody was talking. Trixie didn't like silence, and the one with her parents made her specially uncomfortable. 

"So... I will be coming home late this week." She said, to break the silence. She wasn't eager to talk about the topic, but she'd had to bring it up at some point and this seemed like a good time to do so.

"What? Why?" Her mother asked, immediately frowning.

"I... got grounded by the principal. For throwing a bucket of paint." 

Her mom put down her utensils, crossing her arms above the table. Trixie gulped down, that pose wasn't a good sign.

"And why on earth would you do that?" 

"Because..." She didn't want her to know the true reason. She couldn't know. "One of the girls from Pinewood was being rude to one of the new girls, and she needed someone to defend her, and--"

"And what? That was her problem Trixie, you can't go around solving everyone's life. Look, now you have a stain in your school record." 

Trixie didn't lower her gaze. She stood by what she did, even if the reason she had told her mom was a lie. 

"Yes but it's nothing serious, ok? I just have to stay after school to help. I'm still in the cheerleading team and I'm still co-captain."

Trixie thought that would ease her mind, but instead her mother seemed to get even angrier. Her dad just watched it all unfold, slowly drinking from his wine.

"Exactly. You've been on that position for... what, now? Two years? You are making no advances, you've settled for mediocrity. If you're not going to be the best then you might as well leave the team. Actually, I might tell the principal to kick you out of it."

"Excuse me?" She answered, getting angry as well. "I never wanted to join in the first place, I did it because you told me to do so. We agreed that I'd stay as long as you didn't force me to be captain because I don't want that spot. And now you tell me this?" She got up, her emotions too strong to keep her on her chair.

"Trixie, sit down." Her mother said, but she ignored her.

"No. Are you even listening to yourself? Do you even care about what I want? Because all you ever do is ask me to do things because it's going to make you look good, and it's going to help our reputation, and it's my duty, and I must be good at this because it's what good girls do. You made me quit guitar lessons because it wasn't something you chose. And now that I actually like cheer you want to take that away from me too? Just because I'm not captain? Something we agreed wasn't going to happen?" 

"Ok young lady I don't like this tone. You are just being ungrateful. It's thanks to me that you've had all those classes and can do something of use. You want to stay on the team? Then go ahead, do it. But let it be the only mediocre thing you do. You better not start spreading that mindset to everything else, because I've provided you with everything so that you actually have some kind of worth, for you to throw it all away."

Trixie gasped, taking a step back, feeling her heart sink down to her feet.

"So I would be worthless without the lessons and titles? Is that what you're saying? That I don't have any value?"

"You do now, Trixie. You need to understand that--" 

"No, I understand plenty. Enjoy your meal." She turned around and ran upstairs into her room. Nobody even tried to stop her.

As soon as her door closed, she slipped into the ground, tears falling down her cheeks.

She had been in that same position many times before, the feeling familiar. She had argued with her mom in several different occasions, but she had never said something that hurt her so much.

She layed there for a few minutes, letting all her frustration, anger and sadness out. Once she ran out of tears, she took her phone, going into the group chat with her friends. 

She told them everything that had happened, and the texts in response arrived soon. Her friends helped her feel better, with their encouraging words and silly memes to distract her from the situation. She smiled at her phone, happy to have people like that in her life. 

Despite that, she still had a knot behind her throat, a wave of loneliness invading her as soon as she layed in bed for sleep. She was being irrational, she knew that she wasn't alone and she had a lot of people supporting her, but at that specific moment the big bed seemed empty with just her in it. 

She tossed around for a while before getting up. She stood in her place for a couple of seconds, analyzing what she was about to do, and whether she should do it. She decided it was ok as long as nobody found out. 

She walked up to her closet, opening the top drawer. She pulled out Katya's shirt, her scent still lingering in the fabric. 

She put it on, the shirt swallowing her body once again. The feeling brought her comfort, the soft fabric and cosy smell enough to fill her heart. 

And when she layed in bed again, she didn't feel as alone. She hugged the fabric tight against her body, taking the feeling in. She closed her eyes, drifting away to sleep, not losing her grip on the foreign shirt.

-  
-  
-

The weekend went by quickly, uneventful as it could've been. Trixie stayed inside binge watching Netflix, trying to recharge as much as possible for the new week. 

The first event of the tournament was only a week away, and she was going to be very busy throughout it. Between having to stay after class to help out at school, and the rehearsals for the team, she was going to drain all her energy.

Monday arrived, bringing clouds and gloomy weather with it. The sky was so cloudy it looked gray, and the wind was cold and fresh. 

Trixie put on something cosy, wearing a long sleeved white shirt with high rise jeans and a belt. She tied up her boots and threw on an open knitted sweater before going outside.

She excitedly ran towards her friend's car when she realised there were two more people in it than usual. 

She hopped in the front seat, looking back to find two smiling faces.

"Guys! I wasn't expecting you to be here, what's the occasion?" She said, while Kim started the car.

"We just love hanging out with you guys." Naomi said, smiling and putting her hand to her chest.

"Her car broke down and I missed the bus." Said Bob, also smiling. Naomi cut out her act, teasingly slapping her in the arm.

"They had me rescuing them, so you can say I'm kind of the hero here." Said Kim, making Trixie giggle. 

The rest of the ride was fun, it wasn't usual for the four girls to be together in that situation, so Trixie made the most of it while they joked and laughed.

They arrived at school just in time for their first class, each one going into their respective classroom.

Trixie sat down, as the bell rang. The teacher wasn't in the room yet, so she used this time to organise her pens and open up her binder.

"Good morning! How was your weekend?" Asked Nicky, who was sitting next to her. She was already sitting when she arrived, and she was playing with a pen, turning it around her fingers. 

"It was good, thanks. How about you?" Trixie said, while she searched for a clean sheet in her binder.

"It was really fun, actually. I went out with some girls from my club. Gigi went along with Crystal, it was really cute. She's nice." 

"You're in the confections club?" Trixie asked, as the science teacher walked in the room. 

"Yeah, I am. You're in cheer, right?" 

"Yes. So, you've met Gigi." She said, almost whispering so that the teacher wouldn't notice they were talking. Nicky lowered her voice too.

"She's nicer than I thought, actually. Then again, she's dating Crystal so what did I expect?" 

Trixie smiled at her in agreement, before shifting her attention to the already going class, although she was still thinking about the conversation. She smiled a little to herself, being at peace with knowing that Nicky didn't see anything wrong with two girls dating.

Despite Gigi and Crystal being so loved by people at the school, a few of them still thought they shouldn't be together, or that it was wrong. However, if either of them noticed this, they didn't care. They never hesitated to hold hands, use nicknames or show affection in public. They didn't try to hide it or avoid the topic. They just... dated. 

Trixie wondered if she'd ever get something like that. 

The class went by with ease, as they reviewed an old topic. Trixie wasn't passionate about science, but she understood it just fine.

As they got out of the classroom to switch classes, the halls filled with students. The familiarity made Trixie feel at peace, with the well known sound of talking and lockers opening. 

She walked up to her own, and a few moments later Naomi joined her, for they had the next lesson together. 

"Let's go, I don't want to get lectured again over the importance of punctuality or whatever." 

Trixie laughed, closing her locker and walking next to her friend. As they walked down the halls, side to side, she felt a touch of nostalgia. It felt like just yesterday she was a freshman, awkwardly walking next to an also younger Naomi, who happened to be a little shorter than her.

But now they were seniors, and there was nothing awkward in their walk. They had both grown since then, and now Naomi was taller than Trixie. Her hair had grown to her waist, and her face was nicely decorated with makeup.

Trixie had also grown since then, looking less like a kid and more like a woman. Despite doing regular exercise, her body defined in curves, giving her an hourglass figure with her wide hips and large bust. At first she felt self conscious over how drastically her body had changed, but now she wore it with confidence, as she walked down the long halls. 

It also wasn't a secret that they caught people's attention. Trixie herself had been pursuited by the boys of the school in many different occasions, but she always turned them down. At least she did most of the time. There had been an exception, when in sophomore year she accepted and started dating someone. They were together for 2 years, before they broke up because he left town. Secretly, she was relieved. It was thanks to that experience that she realised she wasn't attracted to men. 

Eventually they reached the classroom, and just like before, the class went by easily. The rest of the school day had a similar fashion, revisiting old topics and doing simple assignments. Everyone was still busy with the preparations for the tournament, so the classes didn't have the focus they usually did.

After a couple more classes, the school day finished, and Trixie went to her locker, organising her stuff. She took her time doing this, for she had to stay at school anyways.

"Trix, you sure you don't want me to wait for you?" She closed her locker door, finding all three of her friends surrounding her. Kim had asked the question, and she looked at her expecting the answer.

"I'm sure, don't worry about me. I'll ride the bus back home. I don't even know how long this thing is going to take, I wouldn't want to keep you here all afternoon." 

"Well, call us if anything comes up and you need a ride. Or emotional support. Call us for anything, really." Said Bob, resting her weight on the lockers. 

"Yeah, please do. And let us know if that Pinewood girl gets annoying, and we'll come here to get her off your back." 

"I... don't think that will be necessary." She said, trying not to blush over the mention of Katya. Her friends knew that Katya had helped her a few weeks ago, and she told them what happened in the gym, but she didn't mention their trip to the mall. It felt personal, and she wanted to keep the memory between them. "But I will, I promise."

"Ok then, if you say so." Said Bob, patting her shoulder. "See you tomorrow Trix, good luck." 

"Thanks, bye guys." They smiled at her before turning around towards the exit. Trixie went to the bathroom to freshen up while she waited for the rest of the students to leave. 

She washed her hands and retouched her lipgloss before going back outside. She sat in the stairs of the main entrance, putting on her headphones, waiting for the school to empty out and Katya to arrive.

After what felt like forever, she was alone. A teacher had asked her if she wanted to go inside, but she told her she was going to wait for Katya outside. The teacher just nodded before leaving her alone again.

Trixie liked the peace. It was weird being alone at school, and having it be empty. The weather also helped with the vibe. It had gotten even cloudier and colder since morning, and the wind was blowing fast and cold.

She leaned back in the stairs, closing her eyes to enjoy the breeze. She stayed in that position for a few minutes, before one of her headphones was taken off her ear.

She got startled, jumping by the action. In front of her stood Katya, laughing with the headphone still in her hand.

"I'm sorry Barbie doll, I didn't mean to scare you." She gave the headphone back to her, and took a couple of steps back, still laughing. Trixie took the opportunity to look at her.

She was wearing a black and white open plaid shirt. Underneath it, a black top. She had skinny black jeans, ripped at the knees. Her feet were covered in black converse, and her blonde waves fell down loose. As always, her lips were tinted with a bold red that made Trixie's heart skip a beat. 

"Stop laughing and help me get up." Trixie said, as she reached out her hand. Katya took it and helped her stand up, pulling her upwards. Trixie dusted off her jeans, before walking next to Katya towards the inside of the school.

"So... How was your day?" Trixie said, trying to break the silence as they approached the principal's office.

"It was okay. Yours?"

"Fine." Katya smiled at her, but she didn't continue the conversation. Trixie looked at her sideways. She seemed off, like her mind was somewhere else. She had smiled before, but her semblance seemed tense, and her eyes looked troubled. 

Trixie wondered what it was, but she felt like she didn't have the right to ask. They had only known eachother for a couple of days, and she didn't want to cross a line. 

So, they walked in silence. Eventually they reached the office, where they were assigned their first task: Cut out the invitations for the parents. They were given instructions to go get the sheets with the prints, and then sit in the art classroom to cut them out, so they could be given out the next day. 

Trixie went to get the sheets, as Katya got the scissors. Soon enough they were both in the art room, each one sitting on a desk, silently cutting the invitations. They were a lot of them, it was going to take a while.

Aside from the cutting and paper shuffling, it was quiet. Trixie was getting a little uncomfortable. She didn't mind silence in her own, but when she was around people she preferred to talk about something.

"Be careful with the paper edges, it's easy to get accidental cuts with them." Katya stopped cutting and shifted her gaze towards her. Trixie immediately regretted speaking, and she got embarrassed for saying such an obvious thing. 

"Sure, I'll look out for them." Katya smiled at her, before going back to cutting. There it was again, avoiding conversation. They hadn't known eachother for long, but Trixie knew it was unusual. Usually she was talkative, whether it was to tease her or to say a joke. It was weird seeing her so quiet.

She glanced over at her several times, but her gaze was fixed on the paper. 

"Do you mind if I play some music? I'm not a big fan of silence." She said, trying not to sound rude. Katya just nodded at her, letting her know it was ok.

Trixie put on her playlist, leaving her phone on her table. She continued cutting, and while the music helped her not feel as awkward, she was starting to get worried. What if she was mad at her? What if she had realised it was because of her that she was stuck doing chores at her school? What if her plans had got ruined because of this? 

Her mind was running wild with thought, but she tried to reassure herself it had nothing to do with her. However, it wasn't an easy task, and she didn't like seeing her so... gloomy.

About and hour later, they finished cutting up the invitations. They stacked them up on a pile, and left them in the main desk. After that, they went to look for the art teacer. They found her in the teacher's office, shuffling between paperwork.

Trixie knocked lightly on the door, asking for permission to come in.

"Oh girls, hi! Are you done with the invitations?" The teacher asked, fixing up her glasses.

"We are. Is there anything else we can help you with, Miss Velour?" 

"There is, actually. You see, I have to stick these flyers all over the gym." She said, shaking a pile of pink paper sheets. "They talk about the event, showing the rules and regulations there will be, so everyone knows how it's going to work. Do you think you can help me with that, Trixie dear?"

"Sure, no problem. We'll just take them and..." 

"Oh I was actually hoping Katya here could help me with something else. That's your name, right dear?" Katya nodded, taking a step forward. "I was told that you are fluent in russian, is that true?"

"It is. Why do you ask?" Katya said, suddenly interested. Trixie just blinked, not understanding the situation.

"Oh thanks goodness! It's just that I have this project for the decoration, in which I put little pieces of poetry that are completely unrelated to eachother, but were written on the exact same date, to show how much can happen in one day, and how our society is a big influence in..." She stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Well, it's a very complex project, so let's leave it at that. Anyway, I have this one piece, but it's in russian, and I want to make sure I have the correct translation. Mind giving me a hand?" 

"Sure, I'll help." 

"Great! Thank you both, you're angels." She said, sighing in relief. She seemed to have a lot of things going on, Trixie noticed, by looking at the many papers that covered her desk and the multiple coffee mugs next to them.

"Ok so... I'll go put those flyers up." She said, as she left the room and went into the gym.

She felt a little weird by herself, she thought all the tasks were going to be done next to Katya, so she wasn't sure what to do now that she was alone.

She put on some music and finished her task. However, she didn't meet up with Katya again. After leaving the gym, she found another teacher that needed help, and she didn't get back to the art room.

She finished another two tasks by herself, without even knowing where Katya was. By the end of it, she was tired, and in need of a break. The school day and chores combined had drained her.

Thankfully, she was done for the day. However, she couldn't leave yet, she needed to sign her leave in the principal's office, and she was on an online meeting. As soon as it finished, she could sign the damn paper and go home.

In the meantime, she decided to go outside and catch some air, being inside all day had her in need of some fresh weather.

She walked down the football field, crossing the back of the school's terrain. As the name indicated, they were located on top of a hill, pretty much next to the forest. So, they were located on one of the highest points of the city. Trixie wondered how the view would look like, for the school grounds were surrounded with pine trees, blocking it.

She stood in the middle of the field, suddenly overwhelmed with the need to see the view. It was her last year in the school, and she couldn't leave without getting a chance to do so.

She started to look around, when she came up with an idea. On the girls locker room was a closed door, that they weren't allowed into. Trixie knew it led to the rooftop, because one time she heard some teachers talking about how they went upstairs for a smoke break.

She ran towards the room, fueled with determination. She assumed it wasn't a good idea to go somewhere she wasn't allowed to while doing detention, but she was already invested on her goal.

She turned the door knob, and to her surprise it opened. She wasn't expecting the door to be unlocked, but it was. She stepped to the other side, closing it behind her. She felt a bolt of adrenaline as she put her foot up the stairs, and started to walk up them.

She reached the rooftop door, and with a deep breath, she opened it. As soon as she stepped outside, she gasped. The view was even better than she expected.

From up there, you could see the whole town, from the rich neighborhoods to the tall skyscrapers and buildings, all the way to the farther residences. To the sides, stood the forest. It seemed immense with its dark green trees, covered in a thick layer of mist. 

Trixie was mesmerized by the view, she had never been so high up, and the air, whom was already chilly, was even colder up there. She then realised how high up she was, so she tried to stay away from the edge. 

She was going to turn and look for somewhere to sit in, when she smelled something she hadn't realised was there before. Cigarette smoke. 

She immediately got scared, assuming it was a teacher on smoke break. She was already planning on an apology and excuse, when she turned her head to her right, towards the smell.

In the opposite end of the roof, sat Katya, with one of her legs folded against her, smoking a cigarette. The wind made her hair softly flow around her, giving her an aesthetic feel.

She noticed Trixie looking at her, and she turned her gaze towards her, smiling. 

"Hey." She said, before breathing out a cloud of smoke.

"Hey." Trixie said back. She walked up to where she was, sitting next to her, with her legs crossed. "You found the rooftop." 

Katya half smiled, returning her gaze to the horizon. 

"Guess I did. Want some?" She said, offering her the cigar.

"No thanks, I don't smoke."

"Good, you shouldn't. It screws you up." Katya said, before putting it back into her mouth.

Trixie laughed, making Katya look at her again. 

"Really? Anti-smoking advice from a smoker."

"What? I know this shit is awful, but I still like it." Trixie laughed again, making Katya smile. 

They fell quiet again, just sitting next to eachother looking down at the city.

"Hey, so..." Trixie started, playing with a piece of lint from her sweater. "I hope I'm not overstepping a boundary here but, are you ok? You just seem a little down, and you've helped me before when I was feeling stressed. Is there anything I can do to help?" 

Katya finished the cigar, stepping on it to turn it off. She sighed, looking over at Trixie. They stared at eachother for a little before Katya folded her other leg towards her, hugging them both.

"I'm... not great. I had an argument with my mom, and it took a bit of a toll on me. But don't worry about it, I just need some time to process what's happening. I'll be better tomorrow." Katya turned towards Trixie again, captivating her with her light eyes. "And... thanks. It means a lot to me that you care." She smiled at her, making Trixie smile back. 

"On a different note, I forgot to ask, how did you find the rooftop?" Trixie said, changing the topic.

"I was helping out in the gym, and one of the teachers asked me to make sure the lockers were closed before leaving. I came here to check and I found the door open, so I just went in." 

"I can't believe you found this place the second day you've been here, and it's my first time in 4 years coming up."

Katya laughed, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Are you not allowed up here?" 

"No, they say it could be dangerous. A lot of students don't even know where the door leads." 

"Then this is like our little place, right? Our secret." 

Trixie blushed a little, both over the statement and the fact that Katya's gaze was right on her. "I guess it is." 

A couple of seconds went by, before Katya stood up, reaching her arm in front of Trixie.

"Let's go, the principal is probably done with her meeting and, I don't know about you, but I can't wait to go home." 

Trixie smiled at her, letting her help her up. Together they walked down the stairs and towards the office. Just like Katya had predicted, she was already done, and they could sign what they needed.

The principal thanked them for their help and said her goodbyes, before closing her office door.

Trixie sighed, tired for the day and ready to leave. She walked next to Katya down the hall, towards the exit.

"I'm assuming you don't have a ride today either." Katya said, taking a couple of steps ahead of Trixie, and walking backwards so that they were facing eachother.

"No, I don't. I was actually wondering if you wanted to ride the bus back home together." 

"That sounds like a lovely idea, but I had something else in mind. I was thinking maybe I could give you a ride home." 

"You have a car?" 

"Sorta. Come on, you'll see." Trixie was confused but she followed her to the parking lot. It was pretty much empty except for...

"A motorcycle. That's what you have." 

"Isn't it beautiful?" Katya said, as she walked towards it. It was certainly... something.

It was brand new, a model that has just been released. It was a beautiful black colour, with dark red details around the wheels. It shined and glistened, despite the fact that the sun was covered by the heavy dark clouds. 

Trixie gulped down, being intimidated by the vehicle.

"Oh wait, I didn't ask if riding them scares you." Katya said, noticing the look on Trixie's face. She walked up to her, looking concerned. 

"It's not that, it's just... I've never been on one." 

Katya sighed in relief, getting closer to Trixie. "Don't worry! It's a little intimidating, I know, but I promise once you get the hang of it it's fun. Trust me, you'll be fine." 

Katya opened a compartment in the back or the bike, taking out two black helmets. She handed one to Trixie.

She just held it in her hands, not sure what to do.

"I don't remember you having a bike. It's new, right?" 

"Yup, got it yesterday. I convinced my mom to send me some of my savings. She only agreed because she knows riding the bus everyday can get expensive." 

Trixie got a little confused. She didn't quite understand why her mom had agreed to sending her money if they had an argument, but she didn't ask. Instead, she out on her helmet, after Katya did too.

"Do you know how to ride this?"

"Barbie doll. If I didn't know how to ride it I wouldn't have bought it. I know what I'm doing. Do you trust me?" 

Trixie debated herself a little, before nodding, and following Katya's instructions. She hopped into the bike (which was embarrassingly difficult), and held for balance in the seat.

Katya sat in the front seat, preparing the bike for the ride. 

"I don't think holding onto the seat is a good idea, beautiful. You'll have a better grip if you hold on to my waist."

Trixie hesitated before putting her arms around Katya's waist from the back. She was thankful Katya couldn't see her face, because she was blushing. She was overly aware of how warm she felt under her embrace, and how her own skin squeezed against Katya's back.

She tried not to think about that while Katya started the motorcycle, beginning the ride down the hill. 

Trixie was trying not to hold too tight, but soon enough she was holding on for dear life. She wasn't used to the feeling of going so fast without the protection of a car, or the wind that seemed to be pushing her back.

Katya started laughing in the front, aware of Trixie's fear.

"I know I said to hold on but you're crushing my organs, Babrie doll." 

"Sorry!" Trixie said as loud as she could, trying to make herself heard through the wind.

She loosened her grip a little bit, and a few minutes later she realised it actually wasn't that bad. It gave her an odd feeling of freedom, like she was a bird flying through the air. 

She found herself enjoying the ride, letting the air ruffle her hair and caress her face. She leaned back a little, closing her eyes and smiling as she passed by the streets.

Eventually they reached their own neighborhood, and Katya had to slow down after passing the entrance. They rode slowly, and Trixie asked her to stop a few houses before hers. Katya was weirded out by this, but she agreed and stopped the bike.

Trixie hopped down, feeling like her legs were made of jelly. She took the helmet off, trying to fix her hair up a bit.

"See? I told you it wasn't that bad." Said Katya, as she received Trixie's helmet. "May I ask why you decided to stop right before we got there, though?"

"It's nothing personal it's just... My parents are already a little mad at me, and trust me when I say they won't like it if they see me arriving home while riding a motorcycle with a stranger. It's not personal, I promise."

"No, it's ok, I get it." 

"Ok then... I'll see you tomorrow." She turned around to start walking, when she felt Katya's hand on her arm.

"Wait... do you want to exchange phone numbers? Just to keep in touch?" 

Trixie smiled at her, before taking her phone out of her purse. "Sure, here's mine..." Trixie gave her her number, and then wrote Katya's down. In the contact information she wrote **Kat** next to a sparkle emoji, before hitting save.

"Now we're good. Good luck with your parents, see you tomorrow." 

"Bye." Trixie smiled at her one last time, as Katya hopped back in the bike and rode down towards her house. She waited a little before walking to hers.

She reached home, where she said hi to her parents, and walked up to her room. She took a warm shower and went to get dinner, before going back upstairs. 

She sat in her bed, brushing her hair, when she received a text.
    
    
      **Kat💫**
    
    
    
    I forgot to give you back your chapstick. I'll give it to you tomorrow
    
    
    8:53 pm

She put her brush aside to answer, typing with a smile on her face.
    
    
      **Barbie doll**
    
    
    
    it's okay, you can keep it. I have your shirt anyway :p
    
    
    8:53 pm
    
    
      **Kat💫**
    
    
    
    true, I forgot you're keeping her hostage. my poor daughter :(
    
    
    anyway, I just noticed my phone is dying, lol. I'll see you tomorrow beautiful, have a good night
    
    
    8:54 pm
    
    
      **Barbie doll**
    
    
    
    night
    
    
    8:54 pm

Trixie sighed, falling back into her bed. She smiled as she held her phone to her chest, excited to know she had a new number among her contacts. 

She sat back up, continuing to brush her hair, impatient to know what the next day had in store for her.


	5. The other side of the story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! before we start I wanted to let you know that I'm starting online school again, which takes a lot of time off my day and leaves me physically and mentally drained, so the updates might take a little longer than usual :( I will still try my best to keep them up though! 
> 
> I also wanted to try a different style, so this chapter might be a little bit different from the rest. It is also slightly shorter, but I hope you can still enjoy it! and if not, don't worry, we'll go back to the usual afterwards :) 
> 
> (btw, there's the mention of an iconic Katya outfit, I hope you guys recognize it)
> 
> that's all I have to say for now, aside from the usual reminders: be gay, do crime, and enjoy! 💓

**Tuesday, 7 pm.**

Katya flopped down in her couch, sighing with the action. She was already tired for the day, it had been draining. 

She had been awake since about 7 am, the school day had been tense (a lot of people were still mad about her pushing off Riddell), she had been assigned hard chores in Trixie's school, and halfway through the ride back home she had got a headache that was still present. 

As usual, the house was dark. She didn't like turning the lights on, they made her uncomfortable with their bright white colour. Instead, she layed in the dark, the only light being that of the moonlight slipping through the windows. 

She closed her eyes, hoping she could take a nap before having to work, when her phone buzzed with a notification.

She ignored it, focused on trying to sleep, but two more notifications arrived soon. She grunted, stretching out to the little coffee table to grab it. 

The phone lit up after being unblocked. Three new texts from Trixie. 

Katya really wasn't in the mood to be talking to anyone, but the notification bubble said that she had sent two pictures, and the curiosity was bigger. That, and the fact that she couldn't bring herself to ignore her texts.

She opened the chat, immediately downloading the pictures.
    
    
      **Barbie Doll**
    
    
    
    ok, so I know we have a different fashion style, but you seem to know a lot about boots, which is why I want your opinion on which one looks better for this outfift ???
    
    
    7:02 pm.

Underneath that text, came the two pictures. They were a full body selfie of Trixie, taking the picture in a mirror. She was wearing a simple but fashionable outfift, and on each picture she was wearing a different pair of boots. Katya got distracted looking at her, and for a moment forgot why she had sent the pictures in the first place. She shook it off and analyzed it for a little before sending her reply.
    
    
      **Kat 💫**
    
    
    
    the brown boots fit better. you look beautiful in both, tho ;)
    
    
    7:04 pm

Katya wondered what was her reaction to her answer. She liked teasing Trixie via text, but nothing compared to doing it in person, and seeing her get all flustered while trying to hide it. A couple of minutes went by without an answer. Katya was about to put her pone down to sleep, when it buzzed again.
    
    
      **Barbie Doll**
    
    
    
    thx. 
    I have to go get dinner, but maybe we can talk later ?
    
    
    7:07 pm
    
    
      **Kat 💫**
    
    
    
    sorry doll, I have work tonight. i´ll see you tomorrow though. (and i´ll check to see if you took my advice or not)
    
    
    7:07 pm
    
    
      **Barbie Doll**
    
    
    
    work huh? I didn´t know you had a job, lol. we can talk about it tomorrow then. good luck!
    
    
    7:08 pm

Katya sighed, blocking her phone. She closed her eyes, pressing it to her chest. It was her third day working, and she was hoping she could avoid telling Trixie what it was. It wasn't something she liked bragging about.

She layed in her couch, holding her position, and soon enough she was asleep.

A couple of hours went by, before her pre-set alarm went off. She grunted, reluctantly getting up and going upstairs to start getting ready.

**10 pm**

Katya parked in her usual spot, next to the motorcycles and cars of the other employees. The air was cold, and the muffled sound of talking and music reached to where she was.

She stopped for a second, stretching her legs out. It was a long drive, going from her house to such a deep part of the city. Although the driving was a little annoying, she was glad to have such a different environment. The chances of finding someone from Pinewood (or anywhere near where she lived) where very slim. Nobody from such rich neighborhoods and fancy lifestyles was going to were she was. It eased her mind to know that.

She dusted off her clothes and began walking past the trash cans and into the back door.

Inside, the lights were dim, blinking with a yellow shading. She walked up to the dressing rooms, putting her bag in her locker. It held the change of clothes she had to get into in a couple of hours. 

In the meantime, she looked in the mirror, fixing up her hair. Behind her, the door opened.

"You ready yet? The shift has already ended, and people need their drinks." Said the woman on the other side of the door. Katya still hadn't learned her name.

"Yeah, let's go." Katya walked next to her, and out into her workspace. Immediately, the vibes washed over her. Red lights hanged from the ceiling, the music was so loud she could feel it vibrating in her veins, and the smell of alcohol and cigarettes was strong. A lot of people would've felt uncomfortable, but she felt at home. In a weird way, this is where she belonged.

She immediately went over to the bar, where she started to work on the orders. For the first two hours of her shift, she was a waitress, delivering drinks and taking orders. She didn't mind doing that, but it was the second half that she really liked doing.

She focused on getting her orders right while she walked from one side of the club to another, avoiding tables and managing to not bump into her co-workers.

She had experience in doing so, for she had been working in places like that since she was sixteen. It had started when a friend of hers had told her he knew a way to make money, and drove her to a local bar near their school.

Katya had been worried, saying how they wouldn't let her in because she was a minor. However, they let her in just fine, and they eventually gave her the job. At first, she just did waitressing. But once she was close to her eighteenth birthday, she started performing as well. 

As a teen, her job was her escape from reality. It felt like a different dimension, with its coloured lights and loud music. She was aware it was wrong, and that she shouldn't be in that environment with such a young age. But she didn't care enough to stop, and the feeling of doing something she knew she wasn't allowed to, fueled her adrenaline. It made her feel something. 

So now, almost three years later, she was well accustomed to working in places like that. Now that it was legal, she felt more confident, knowing they couldn't punish her for doing so. She felt more comfortable. 

Eventually, her waitressing shift finished. She got the cue when she went behind the bar to leave a dirty tray, and as soon as she did she walked up to the changing rooms to get into her new outfit. 

She opened the door, excited for the rest of the night, when she noticed the room wasn't empty. A girl was already inside, struggling to pull her thights up. She was half naked but Katya didn't mind, she was used to nudity. 

"Need help with that?" She asked the girl in a joking way, unlocking her locker.

"Fuck off." The girl answered, still struggling. Katya just laughed, taking out her own bag. 

She undressed, and began putting on her new look. It wasn't the easiest task, but she wasn't struggling as much as the girl behind her.

"So." The girl said, once she was able to pull her thights on. She started shuffling around her own bag, trying to find her next piece of clothing. "What has my favourite russian hooker been up to? Any news? Something interesting?" 

"Not really." Katya said, fixing up her clothes. "Do you have anything?"

"Nah, the usual. I did find a pretty good looking guy yesterday though, but he panicked halfway through and told me that he was married and couldn't do that to his wife. He had to pay anyway so that was nice." 

Katya laughed, finishing up her outfit. She took out a hand mirror, putting on her favourite red lipstick. It was a little bit darker than the ones she wore regularly, and it was waterproof. She liked the way it made her lips look.

The door opened, this time the club manager being on the other side. 

"Willam, Katya. You girls go up in five. Final touches ladies." She closed the door as soon as she was done with the message. Katya got up from where she was sitting, putting her bag back into the locker.

"Hurry up if you want to make it in time, she'll kill you if you're late again." She told Willam, who was just starting to fix her hair. 

"Yeah yeah, I'm almost done." Katya rolled her eyes a bit, walking up to the full length mirror to fix up details. 

She looked at herself, almost unable to recognise the girl from the mirror. She had black heeled boots on, her hair was down in waves and her makeup was the usual. But with those clothes in she looked different. More mature.

She was wearing a piece of black lingerie, a full body one that hugged her body and soft curves. It was stoned with silver gems all throughout the front, and there were fishnet-like thights that reached her upper thigh. In her hips, a soft courtain of black fringe fell down, only enhancing the silhouette. 

She fixed up a bit of her hair, and ruffled up the ends, when she got the call for her to go up. She glanced once last time at her reflection before exiting the room.

She stepped into one of the stages, feeling the same thrill she had felt the first day. The lights shined red, and a courtain of smoke came out the sides as she stepped out and the music began.

She started her performance to the song, taking her time in every movement. She was aware of the fact that the audience was captivated by her moves, and they were starting to offer her money. She grabbed some of the bills, but at that moment she didn't care about them. This was her moment.

She allowed herself to get lost in the music, as she stretched and danced and flipped her hair. She was having the time of her life, and even though there were many piercing male gazes looking at her, she was performing for herself.

Across the room, Willam was also doing her performance, with an audience of her own. Katya couldn't help but smile, feeling free with the movements, letting her inhibitions go.

The rest of the night went fast, between dances and payments and short water breaks. Soon enough it was 1 am, and her shift was over. 

She stepped down the stage and went back to the changing rooms, getting back into her more casual clothing. She grabbed her stuff, putting the newly acquired bills at the bottom of the bag, and walked out the establishment.

Outside, Willam was standing against the wall, smoking a cigarette. Katya walked up next to her and lit her own. They stood next to eachother in silence, looking at the night sky and taking in the sounds of the city.

They were old friends, meeting when Katya was seventeen and on a family trip to a touristic location that Willam happened to work at. They had gotten close during the trip, and held contact via text and calls. Katya was thankful to have her as a friend.

"Why are you here, Katya? I mean that." She said, breaking the silence. Katya looked over at Willam, but she was still looking at the sky. In that circumstance, she looked older than she was. She was only twenty six, but she seemed to be far more mature with that look on her face. Katya returned her gaze to the stars, thinking of her answer.

"What do you mean? I'm here for the same reason as you. Getting money." 

"No, you're not." Willam finished her cigarette, and she disposed of the little bit that was left. "I'm here because I have nowhere else to go. I'm here because I live in a tiny apartment with two other people, because I didn't go to school and started getting involved with the wrong people from a young age, I basically have no future. I'm stuck in this town, and I'm stuck with this life. I don't have much of a choice anymore." 

Katya looked at her once again, and this time she was looking back.

"But you? You're young still. You have an access to education, you have money and a whole world of opportunities at your feet. You should be on your way to a party, taking a break from studying to become a successful lawyer or something, I don't know. You shouldn't be in some random bar performing for creepy men to earn money." 

Katya lowered her gaze, disposing of her cigarette as well. She held her arms against her body; it was cold.

"You know why I do it. I can't continue to take my family's money, and this is the one thing I know I'm good at that will actually get me some income. You don't really get to lecture me on this." 

"Fair enough. Just... I'm serious, Katya. You don't want to end up like me. I know I joke a lot about you being a russian hooker, but I don't actually want to see you end up having to resort to doing that. You can still do something different with your life. Don't waste that opportunity."

Willam took a step forward, stretching a bit. The moment was over.

"Well, gotta get back to work. See you tomorrow kid." She said, as she walked next to Katya and patted her on the shoulder. 

Katya stood in her place, sighing. She wasn't the type to have serious conversations, and neither was Willam, so it felt odd to be in that situation. She looked up at the sky, the words from the elder still lingering in her mind. It had given her something to think about, but her mind was already busy at that time. She made a mental note to go back to the topic later.

She fixed up her hair and picked up her bag, before getting in her motorcycle and riding back home. As she passed by the empty streets and felt the cold air hit her face, she felt incredibly small, in a world too big for her.

Sometimes she wondered if she had made the right decision, but in moments like that, she felt free. Like she could do anything, go anywhere, and just be. She smiled, driving away into the night. 

**Wednesday, 3:56 pm**

Katya sighed, putting the soapy bucket down. Next to her, Trixie flopped into the grass. They had been scrubbing the benches of the football field, and needless to say, it wasn't an easy task.

Katya sat on the ground, next to where Trixie was laying. She crossed her legs and closed her eyes for a moment, tired after the hard work.

"I hope we never have to do that again. I never would've thought there would be so many dry pieces of bubblegum stuck to the benches. It's a very surprising sight." Said Trixie, putting an arm above her eyes to cover them from the sun.

"I just hope we don't get another task outside. It's been cloudy all week, and the day we're assigned to do something in the field is the day the sun comes out." Katya also flopped into the grass, laying next to Trixie. She mimicked the other girl, and also put her arm above her eyes.

They layed in silence for a few moments, feeling the fresh breeze and resting in the soft grass. 

"So... what do you work as? I haven't forgotten about that, I'm still curious to know." Said Trixie, breaking the silence. 

Katya felt a slight bolt of anxiety. She wasn't sure about how Trixie was going to react. She was her friend, yes, but they lived very different lifestyles, and her job didn't exactly seem like something Trixie was used to. 

She gulped down, organising her words in her mind.

"I work at a club downtown. I do waitressing and, you know... other stuff." She mentally slapped herself for saying that. She wasn't the type to get awkward around people, but the words just came out that way.

Trixie lifted up her arm to look over at her in confusion.

"What do you mean 'other stuff'?"

"Well, you know..." She took a deep breath, avoiding Trixie's eyes. "I perform. In the club." 

Trixie sat up, looking down at Katya. Her shade covered up the sunlight, so Katya lifted her arm from her eyes, locking them with Trixie's. It was a weird angle, but she didn't stand up. 

Trixie's complection was indescifrable. She was analysing what Katya had said, but her reaction remained a mystery. She was just staring at her. 

Eventually, she broke silence. 

"So you're like a stripper?" 

"What? Oh wait, no." Katya sat up, getting at eye level with Trixie. She didn't seem judgemental, but rather worried. Maybe a little weirded out. "I don't **strip** , I just dance. I guess it's kind of similar, but it's just dancing, I swear. Not that I have anything against people that do, I just don't do it myself." 

Trixie seemed a little relieved, but she still looked troubled.

"You look disturbed, Barbie doll. Listen, if you don't want to hang out with me anymore that's fine, I would understand if you..." 

"No! It's not that!" Trixie lowered her gaze, playing with a piece of her hair. "I guess I'm just not used to that. I don't judge you, and I don't want to stop being your friend. It's just... Is it safe? Are you safe?" 

Katya was taken aback. She was expecting everything but those words. She thought her disturbed look had come from a place of judgement, when actually it had come from worry. She was worried about her.

Katya couldn't help but smile. 

"Yeah, there's plenty of security and regulations, I'm pretty safe. You don't have to worry about me, seriously." Trixie smiled at her, finally relieved. "Although if you want to keep me in your thoughts at night that will be welcomed." 

Trixie blushed a little with her teasing, and she jokingly pushed her back into the grass. Katya started laughing, entertained by her reaction. She was going to stand back up to push her away, but in a swift movement Trixie got on top of her. Katya only had a second to process what was happening, before getting aggressively tickled.

"Have mercy, stop!" She said, between laughter. Trixie was also laughing, still tickling her. Eventually, Katya was able to regain her composure though, and just as quickly she slipped away from Trixie. "Oh now it's revenge time." 

She started to run after Trixie, and soon enough they were running all around the field, laughing and throwing grass at eachother. Katya cherished that moment, and she allowed herself to get lost in it.

A few minutes later they got tired, and decided to make peace. They agreed on being thirsty, so they walked back inside the building to get some fresh water. 

As they gulped down, they encountered the principal, who told them they were done for the day and were free to go home. 

They were walking towards the parking lot, when Trixie broke silence. 

"Are you nervous for Friday? It's your first event in this town, after all." 

"Not really. I'm used to the environment, we had these types of things back in Russia. I'm mainly excited, everyone makes this sound like a big deal, so I'm curious to see how true that is." 

"It's a lot. I'm hoping both our teams win, nobody wants to be disqualified in the first event. Specially not in their own school." 

"Yeah, that would suck." They reached the spot where she was parking her bike, and as it had become usual, they both put on their helmets and sat in their places for the ride home.

Katya tried to go a little faster, she wasn't necessarily thrilled about riding under the scorching sun. 

Eventually they reached their usual spot, a couple of houses away from Trixie's, and Katya stopped so that she could get down. 

Trixie stepped into the sidewalk, dusting off her clothes and handing back the helmet. They both stood in their places, awkwardly looking at eachother for a while. If there was something they hadn't mastered yet, was how to say goodbye.

"So... thanks for the ride."

"You say that everyday, you know I don't mind it." 

"Right, well... See you tomorrow." 

"See you tomorrow, beautiful." Katya sat back down, and looking back one last time, she drove the rest of the way home.

When she arrived, she stepped inside, sighing and extremely tired. She sat down on the couch, taking a little rest. 

She looked around the room. It was a mess. Just like in her bedroom, it was filled with closed boxes filled with furniture, decorations, and other stuff from her house and bedroom. 

She had been procrastinating a lot, but she decided it was enough, and she had to do at least something about it.

She walked up to one of the boxes, opening it up. She took everything out, and organized it on the few pieces of the original furniture that remained. 

She only emptied that box, for she was too tired to do more, but it helped her feel better. She was going to be stuck there for the next four months, so she thought it should feel at least a little bit like a home.

She flopped back down into the couch, closing her eyes. The day was still young, and she had many more things to do. Time wasn't passing by fast enough.

**Thursday, 4:02 pm ******

Katya took a sip of her water. It was cool, just like the weather. Thankfully it had gone back to the usual clouds and cold air, which allowed both girls to sit and rest in the gym rooftop.

Next to her was Trixie, who had already finished her water and was now playing with the empty plastic bottle. The air was softly blowing, ruffling up her curls behind her back. Katya looked at her in awe, mesmerized by her appearance. Whenever she looked like that, deep in her thoughts and with her shiny blond curls loose, she reminded Katya of a modern version of Aphrodite. Or at least some sort of Greek goddess.

Trixie noticed she was staring, and she dedicated a heartfelt smile that Katya reciprocated. Trixie returned her gaze to the horizon, and she put her head back a little to feel the air better.

"I can't believe it's already been a week. At this hour tomorrow we will be starting to get ready for the event." Trixie said, closing her eyes.

"Yeah, feels like just yesterday we were getting detention. I hope all the chores we did payed off in some way."

"I'm sure they did."

They sat in silence, enjoying eachother's company. It had become their thing, sitting or laying next to eachother, doing nothing but living the moment. The rooftop meetings were also something they liked doing. It felt very personal, and the place had began to feel like it only belonged to them.

The fact that not a lot of people knew about it, and the few that did had no interest in accessing it, gave it a deep sense of privacy that Katya loved. It had been a while since she felt like she had somewhere special to be in. Somewhere she could call home.

Next to her, Trixie sighed.

"As much as I dislike doing chores, I'm going to miss this, you know?"

"Miss what, exactly?"

"This. Our meetings up here, spending time with you. It's going to be harder to see eachother now that we don't **have** to."

"Hey, don't say that." Katya said, slightly pushing Trixie's arm. She smiled, and opened back her eyes, looking at Katya. "You won't get rid of me that easy, Barbie doll."

Trixie laughed a little, also pushing slightly on her arm.

"I wouldn't dream of trying, Kat."

Katya widened her eyes, surprised by her words. She hadn't been called a nickname until then, and she wasn't expecting it. Trixie noticed, and she sat properly, a slight look of concern coming across her face.

"Do you not like it? I know it's not very original, I just couldn't think of anything else to call you."

"No, I love it! I wasn't expecting you to call me that, it's all."

Trixie smiled at her, and Katya smiled back. Even under that lighting, her eyes seemed to shine, just enough that the green undertone gave them a hazel look. _This girl is a dream_ , Katya thought to herself, happy to have her so close.

They looked back at the horizon, passing time until they had to leave. It was their last day doing detention together, and while Katya had joked, she knew Trixie was right. It was going to be harder to meet from then on.

However, she tried not to think about it a lot, and instead she focused on enjoying that moment. With the nice cool weather, a place that felt like home, and a close friend by her side, there was nowhere she'd rather be.


	6. Tournament day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! I've been waiting to write this chapter for AGES. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did writing it! there's also an art scene that I'm really proud of so look out for that too! 
> 
> In other news, there's an introduction to a new character. I wasn't sure what to name them, but then I remembered a certain scene in All Stars 3 that gave me the perfect name (that's all I'm saying for now 👀). They will be important in the story, so you'll be seeing them a lot more from now on. 
> 
> Also, there's a part of the story that was inspired by a beautiful cover I hear recently. You can find it as "putting a spin on I kissed a girl" on YouTube, by the channel name 'mylifeisayolk'.
> 
> But anyway, I won't keep you any longer. 
> 
> Be gay, do crime, and enjoy!

Friday morning arrived with a clear sky, the early rays of the sun slipping through Trixie's window. She was awake early, even before her alarm went off.

She was already up, putting on clear lipgloss, taking her time with every stroke. She wasn't in a rush, but her heart was beating fast. She was excited.

The first event of the tournament was that day, and she couldn't wait for everything to begin. She felt confident in how their cheering routine had turned out, and she hoped to see the boys from the football team win.

They were playing against a school from the other side of the city. It had been chosen randomly, and Trixie was glad they weren't facing against Pinewood. The stress levels would've been too high.

About twenty minutes later, she was taking her seat in Kim's car, riding to school. She was also excited, but a little more stressed than Trixie. She had to meet up with her club to do some finishing touches for the decorations.

Once at school, the energy and excitement only increased. Everyone was running around, fixing things up. They were only going to get half the classes for the day, because there was still a lot that needed to be arranged.

Trixie offered to help with the decorations, and soon enough she was cutting up pieces of handmade confetti. She wasn't sure what was the need to do it from scratch if they sold bags already made, but she didn't complain and just focused on the task.

Eventually, classes begun. They killed off the mood a little bit (teachers insisted they forgot about the tournament during the lessons), but everyone had enough excitement that the vibe was never fully gone.

When they were finally done with classes, they went back to prepping. They had to leave everything in the school ready, so that they could go home and start getting ready themselves.

Trixie was having a fun time; in fact, all students were. You couldn't quite say the same about the teachers though, they were busy running up and down the school, and their stress levels seemed high. It made contrast with the usual dynamic, in which students were the stressed out ones and teacher's seemed to have fun with that. Trixie wasn't complaining about the change.

The final details were left, and people were starting to leave to get ready. She wanted to stay and help a little more, but due to the fact that she was one of the cheerleaders, the teachers basically kicked her out of school to start getting ready.

Kim was still inside, fixing things up, so she waited outside in the stairs with Bob. They were waiting for her mom to pick both of them up.

Usually, Bob rode the bus back home, but Trixie's mom had asked hers for the favour to pick her up. They were lifelong friends, and she had started to feel almost like a second mom to Trixie.

So, now they were waiting for her. They were sitting on the outer stairs, eating some snacks Bob had found on her purse.

"So", she said, after dusting the cheese powder off her fingers. "Have you tried on your new uniform yet? I heard they're really cool, but I haven't actually seen them. Do you like it?"

Trixie also dusted of her fingers before answering.

"I love it! It's a really pretty colour, and it has our initial on the front of the shirt. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep the jacket on though, but overall I really like it. They did a great job with them."

"Oh by the way, is blondie going to be here? I assume she will, but I mean like... with us."

"Who??"

"You know, blondie. That girl you had detention with."

Trixie neraly choked on her cheese puffs. She forgot about the fact she was going to be there.

"Well... I mean if she wants to, I guess. I think you guys would get along. And her name is Katya, not blondie."

"Nah, I like blondie better." Trixie rolled her eyes, teasingly pushing Bob with her leg. They laughed and continued to make small talk.

Eventually, her mom arrived and they were riding back home.

Trixie arrived home, getting inside and immediately going towards her room to take a shower. Her parents were still at work, they were going to arrive an hour later.

Trixie got in the shower, and as she shampooed her hair, she couldn't help but think of Katya. The foamy soap that covered her hair had a nice orange and citrus scent, which Trixie had come to relate to the russian girl.

She got even more excited, knowing they were going to see eachother again. However, she was also a little nervous. Katya hadn't met her friends yet, and while she hoped they would get along, she wasn't completely sure about what the outcome was going to be.

She got out of the shower, put on her lotion, skin care and body mist; and got out of the bathroom to dry her hair.

When she was done with her hair she heard her parents arrive home. They both worked for the same company, so their time schedules were often the same. They didn't bother saying hi and neither did Trixie, she just took it as a cue to hurry up.

She went into her closet, turning the little light on. She took the cheering uniform down from its hanger, laying it out in the bed.

As she took a step back, looking at it, she felt something she couldn't explain. It was a mix between excitement, nostalgia, and a bittersweet feeling. This was her last year in Spring Hill, and therefore, cheering.

She didn't want to join at first. It wasn't something that caught her attention or she cared about, but her mom had basically forced her to sign up. Needless to say, she didn't enjoy the first couple of weeks.

However, after realising she had no choice but to be there, she started to open up more, and slowly started to like it. She was good at it too, hence why she was named co-captain.

Now, almost four years later, she enjoyed it. It was a distraction, something that kept both her body and mind busy. Looking at the uniform, she realised it was going to be one of the last ones she was going to wear.

She slid her hand across the fabric, taking the memory in. When had she grown so much? If she were to try on one of her earlier uniforms, it wouldn't fit.

She wasn't the same girl she was at the beginning, and for just a moment, she wished she could go back. Tell her that it was going to be ok, that it wasn't the end of the world and that cheering was actually nice. That she wasn't useless or unworthy.

But she couldn't, so she just stood there for a little longer, before sighing and starting to get changed.

She slipped into her clothes, and after a little while she was doing her makeup. She didn't want to add a lot, it was going to be sweaty and hot, so she just put on the basics. A little concealer, blush, mascara and pink lipgloss.

She tied her hair up in half a ponytail (maybe a little too tight), and sprayed some perfume all over her body, before going downstairs. She only had to wait for a couple of minutes before her parents came down too.

Her mom was wearing a fashionable jumpsuit, her blonde hair tied up neatly behind her head. Her dad had a blue shirt and black pants on, all meticulously decorated. Trixie got up from the couch, and walked with them towards their car.

It was starting to get dark outside, but thankfully there was a clear sky. The moon shined bright, showering everything with its white light. Trixie got into the car, still looking out the window to take the sky in.

The ride was quick, and soon they had arrived. They were just in time, the events were going to begin in just a few minutes.

They struggled to find a parking spot, and when they hopped down from the car, Trixie realised why.

The school was filled with people from all over the state, both players and parents were there. It was a little weird for Trixie, seeing so many different uniforms and people she didn't know gathered around at her school.

They walked past them and into the field. Everything was lit up with hanging lights that were held on by metal posts. They were also reflectors, as to keep everything nicely illuminated. Despite it being dark, they did a good job keeping the level of vision decent.

On the side of the field, stood the mural that the art team had been working on. It was beautiful, a painting of the school mascots in a football field.

Trixie and her parents walked to the benches. They had reserved spots, thanks to her position in the team. They were in some of the last rows, but they were ok. Her parents sat down, while Trixie stood in her place.

"I'm going to go search for the team. See you guys after this."

"Good luck Trixie. Don't disappoint us." Her dad said, squeezing her hand. She returned the gesture.

"I won't."

Trixie walked back down, heading into the changing rooms. Inside, the room felt smaller than it was. Not only were the girls from her team inside, but also the ones from Pinewood.

Trixie was heading towards her team, when she tripped with a bag that was laying on the floor. She felt herself falling, when she was pulled back into a locker. She let out a sigh of relief, lifting her gaze to see who had helped her.

Two blue green eyes looked back.

"Hey Barbie doll, you almost broke your face there."

Trixie laughed, taking a step back to fix her hair. "Yeah, I didn't see the bag. Thanks for saving me. Again."

Katya smiled back at her. "No problem."

"Katya! Do you have my water bottle?" Some girl from Pinewood called, all the way across the room. Katya didn't bother walking towards her, but rather answered from her place. Trixie took the opportunity to look at her.

She was a vision in red, a colour Trixie had began to associate with her. Her hair was tied up with a red scrunchie, her lips tinted their signature red, and her uniform the same shade as the band in her hair. The most important part? It was a crop top. She was wearing a damn crop top.

Trixie felt the blush rise to her cheeks, and before Katya could finish her conversation with the other girl, she sneaked past her and towards her team.

She didn't want to be so obvious.

Trixie talked with the girls from the team for a while. Everyone was very excited, to the point where they didn't even seem to mind the presence of the girls from the rival school.

They were still chatting when a teacher opened the door to tell them to get ready because it was about to begin. Trixie glanced at the clock. 7 pm. It was time.

They walked out of the dressing rooms, and into the assigned part of the field they had prepared for them. Suddenly, lights were out. A single reflector was still on, shining towards the teacher's podium, where the principal stood.

She looked elegant and neat in her clothing, and all attention was directed towards her. Everyone fell silent, patiently waiting for her words.

She cleared her throat, and began.

"Good evening to everyone who is here tonight. Spring Hill welcomes you with open arms, for the first event in the annual sports tournament." Everyone cheered, excited for the occasion. She waited for the fuzz to go down before continuing. "Tonight, the football teams from around the state will be competing to get a chance to move on on the tournament. One unlucky team will be disqualified, and no longer able to continue competing."

Trixie's team started to get in position. It was almost their turn.

"I encourage everyone to have a good time tonight, and I wish the best of luck to all teams. Now, without further ado, I declare the tournament started, beginning with a number that the wonderful girls from the cheerleading team have prepared along side Pinewood High. Take the stage, girls."

Trixie got in place, and so did everyone else. Her heart was beating fast with adrenaline. This is what they had been rehearsing for, it was their moment to shine.

The lights switched place, taking their attention on them. The music began playing, and the number started.

They did everything like they practiced, doing cartwheels and kicks and jumps. She let her body guide her, going along with the music but following the predetermined steps.

She felt herself smiling, and it wasn't fake. She truly was happy, feeling freedom with the routine. It was kind of contradictory but she didn't care. The moment was hers to enjoy.

Eventually, the song came to and end, and they finished the number with a pyramid, yelling 'good luck' to the teams.

When they were done, the music was replaced by the cheering and clapping from the audience. For Trixie, nothing compared to that feeling. Being in the spotlight, tired after a performance, but knowing it payed off because everyone liked it. Hearing the clapping and knowing it was for you.

Her smile grew bigger, as they broke formation and went back to their designated area. As they walked, she felt a gentle kick on her arm.

"You did great out there." Katya was smiling at her, clearly tired but also happy.

"Thanks. You weren't so bad yourself."

"Everyone knows I'm the best at my school. No need to be humble." Trixie laughed and returned the little kick. They walked back to their place, and sat down where they had been assigned.

Meanwhile, the match began. They were going to be a few of them, selecting the winners (who were safe) and the loosers (who would have to face again and again until the loosing team was picked out). They still had to do the cheering for their respective schools, but they were going to be some of the last on the lineup.

Trixie was on the other side of where Katya was, which is why she was surprised when she noticed she was sitting next to her.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, as to not take attention away from the ongoing match.

"Thought I'd come by and chat a little. Unless you actually care about the match."

"Not really. So, do you think your team is going to make it?"

"Yeah, I think it's likely. I saw the boys rehearsing the other day, they look like they know what they're doing."

They fell silent for a little, watching the match and hearing everyone rooting for their team.

"Who came here with you?" Asked Katya, also in a whisper.

"My parents. They never miss these kinds of events, they always want to make sure I don't disappoint them or whatever. What about you?"

"I came alone."

Trixie looked at her, regretting her words. She was alone and she knew it. Why did she have to ask that?

"Right. Sorry."

"Don't be, I don't mind it."

They fell silent again, and the match was soon over. They moved on to the next set of teams, and the next and the next. They continued to make small talk, not saying anything too interesting.

Eventually it was Katya's turn to cheer for her school. The whole group of Pinewood girls got up and back into the side of the field, cheering on for their team.

Trixie watched Katya as she tumbled and split. She hadn't actually taken the time to really look at her while performing.

She wasn't lying when she said she was the best at her school. At least Trixie believed she was. She had a natural talent, making it look effortless. She was very flexible and it didn't seem to take such a toll on her. She had probably been doing that since she was little.

Trixie was mesmerized by the performance, and she didn't take her eyes off her once. She hoped Katya didn't notice that.

A couple of minutes later, the sound of a goal shook the audience. Pinewood had scored, which meant they stayed in the competition.

Everyone in Pinewood cheered, happy to be moving on forward. As they came back to their seats, Katya smiled at her. Trixie gave her a thumbs up, a congratulating sign for the win.

The rest of the night was exciting, with intense game matches and tension between players. The energy in everyone had only increased. Everyone seemed to be on the edge of their seats, screaming and jumping whenever something interesting happened. It felt like they were watching a professional football match.

Trixie wasn't crazy about sports, but she felt herself getting excited and energised as well. It was impossible not to catch on to the energy, and soon enough she was also yelling words of encouragement at the players.

A few more games went by, and eventually they reached the last of the night before they moved on to the final eliminations. It was Spring Hill's turn.

Trixie's team got up from there spot, stepping forward into he side of the field. As the match began, they started their routine.

It was easier and smoother this time; they had been doing that routine for a long time, so the steps and order were perfectly learned by everyone in the team.

Trixie noticed everyone was putting in maximum effort. They really wanted their school to move on to the next category, and this was their chance.

Eventually they finished their routine, but continued to do a cheering chant while the game went on. Five minutes, six, seven. And then, a score.

The crowd cheered while the boys from the team basically threw themselves on one another for celebration. Spring Hill had scored, they were moving on.

The team did the winning chant, congratulating their team. Everyone focused on the celebration for a while, before the attention focus shifted towards the principal, who was staying in the podium again.

Everyone fell silent, although the energy was still palpable in the air.

"Congratulations to all the teams moving on to the next category. If you are in that category, you are free to go celebrate this occasion." Everyone clapped and cheer, before she kept talking. "The rest of the teams will have to stay longer for the final eliminations. The rest are also free to stay if they wish to see the other matches. We will now take a forty minute break. In case you are going home already, we thank you for coming and we hope you had a good time here in our school. Good night everyone."

She stepped down from the podium and the lights came back on. Everyone started to disperse, walking down the benches to reunite with their families and friends.

Trixie saw her parents walking down, and went over to join them. Her mom put a hand on her shoulder, looking at her fondly.

"You looked beautiful tonight, Trixie. Keep up the good work my girl, you're doing great." Trixie smiled and squeezed her mom's hand. She didn't get praise often, and hearing her mother saying those words made her even happier.

Her dad just smiled at her and patted her shoulder, but she knew that meant he agreed. That was enough for now.

"We're waiting to meet up with everyone else, you don't happen to know where they are, do you?" Her mom was referring to her friend's parents. Everyone was close, like a really big friend group, and it was their tradition to go for dinner every time there was an important event.

"No, I haven't seen them yet. Were are we having dinner?"

"We were thinking wings." Trixie looked around, searching for her friends or their parents, but there was too many people and they didn't seem to be near.

"I'll go look for them, I'll meet again with you here."

She walked away, searching for them. She was looking around, when she heard someone call her name. She looked around, searching for the voice, and eventually found it, coming from a small circle of people.

"Are you looking for someone? You look a little lost." Said Gigi, as soon as she walked up. She was holding Crystal by the hip, her hand embracing her fondly. Trixie tried not to pay attention to that.

"I'm looking for Naomi, Kim and B. Have you seen any of them?"

"Yeah, I saw Naomi going into the dressing rooms, she was actually looking for you too. It wasn't long ago, she should be there still."

"Great, thanks! Have a good night girls."

"You too. And great work tonight by the way!" Said Crystal. She smiled at her before turning around to walk towards the dressing rooms.

Inside, it was pretty much empty. A couple of girls were walking around getting changed, but most of them were still outside with their families.

Trixie walked around, searching for her friends, when she recognised their voices, coming from the back. They were laughing about something.

She walked up to them, only to find them sitting around chatting with...

"Katya?" All four girls turned around, looking at her. Trixie stood in her place, blinking in shock.

"Oh, hey Barbie doll!"

"Trix! We were looking for you, where were you?" Asked Kim. Trixie was still looking at them, analyzing the situation. She seemed to be the only one in shock.

"Uh... I was with my parents. I came looking for you too, they want to meet up so we can go for dinner."

"Great because I'm starving." Said Bob as they stood up from the floor, dusting off their clothes. Trixie was still expecting some sort of explanation as to why they were hanging out with Katya, but nobody mentioned it.

"Do you want to come, Katya? We can make space for you." Asked Naomi, as she tied her hair up in a ponytail.

"Thanks, but I have to get to work in an hour. Maybe later though."

"Ok then, see you around. It was nice meeting you!"

"You too."

"Come on Trix, let's go." They pulled her away, without giving her a chance to say goodbye to Katya. She just walked next to them, still confused.

As they exited the dressing rooms and stepped into the field, Trixie's curiosity became too much.

"What was that about? How did you even find eachother?"

Bob started laughing, both at her question and the baffled look on her face.

"We were unsuccessfully looking for you, and we found her walking around the gym. We asked her if she had seen you, and she said no, but that you'd probably go to the dressing rooms. So, we decided to wait for you there."

"So... you got along?"

"Of course we did, she's your friend! A friend of you is a friend of us. She's nice." Said Naomi, patting her back to ease her mind.

Trixie didn't know how to feel. She hadn't expected them to meet without having her around. She wondered what they had talked about and how the interaction went. It was hard for her to picture her friends talking to Katya without her being an intervention. They were polar opposites.

Despite that, she was relieved that they got along. It was a weight off her shoulders.

"Ok, we're going to go meet with our parents and we'll meet up with you guys in...?" Said Kim.

"Next to the benches to the right. Under the lampost."

"Got it. See you there." Her friends split up, each going to look for their families. Trixie did the same, going to where she knew her parents were waiting.

She walked up to where they were, only to find them talking to two other adults around their age. There seemed to be someone else with them that she didn't recognize, until...

"Trixie, there you are! Look who came back to town!"

She froze in her place, locking eyes with the boy that stood in the middle of the two couples. He smiled at her, with that smile she knew so well.

"Trixie, hi. It's been a while." He said, greeting her.

"Brayden. It's been a while indeed." She said, trying to swallow the knot on her throat. _What is he doing here? Why did he come back?... Oh goodness, why is he with my parents?_ she thought to herself.

"Come on, don't be so dry with eachother." Her mom said, trying to lighten up the environment. It worked for everyone but Trixie.

"Look at you dear, you've grown up since the last time we saw you!" Was one of the many compliments and comments that Brayden's parents made towards her. She just stood there uncomfortably, nodding and saying thank you.

"So uhhh... why are you guys here?" Her mom glanced at her, it had come off a little rude.

"Well, we came back to town! Turns out London just isn't for us. Brayden missed the environment and his friends, so we decided to move back." His dad said, holding his wife by the shoulder.

Trixie smiled and nodded. "That's nice, but I meant why are you here as in... today."

"Oh! Well we came to support Spring Hill for the tournament, and we just so happened to meet up with you guys."

Trixie suspected where the conversation was going, and she didn't like it. Just like she expected, her mom jumped in.

"So we invited them to come with us for dinner. The more the merrier, right? Besides we thought you guys can catch up, bond a little. We know how close you used to be."

Trixie swallowed again, nervously looking between them, trying to avoid Brayden's gaze. It was cool outside but she was staring to feel hot.

"Did you find your friends, honey? We need to leave in a bit if we want to catch a table." Her mom asked, holding her arm gently.

"Uh... yes, yeah. They just went to get their parents. Can you guys excuse me for a moment? I need to use the restroom."

"Alright, but hurry up."

Trixie basically bolted out of there, half-running towards the gym, as far away as possible. Her anxiety started to climb up her body like a spider, settling in her lungs. Air, she needed air.

Then she remembered. The roof. It was pretty windy up there.

Determined, she went into the dressing rooms. They were still empty, thankfully. She used the chance and slipped through the back door, going upstairs to the roof.

Once there, she closed the door behind her. She was staring to feel slightly better, but she was still hot.

She took her jacket off, tying it around her waist. As soon as she did that, she realised her head was starting to hurt because of how thight her ponytail was. She had been wearing it all afternoon, and it was giving her a headache.

She took that off too, letting her curls fall free behind her back. She massaged them a little, trying to relieve the pressure.

Suddenly, she noticed she was being stared at. She turned around, finding Katya on the other side of the roof.

"Oh... hi. I didn't see you there."

"I know, I noticed that. You looked like you needed space, so I didn't approach you. Did something happen?"

Trixie sighed, going to sit next to her. Katya looked at her with attention, interested in what she had to say.

However, she didn't know where to start. It was something she had a hard time talking about, so she wasn't sure what to say.

She stayed silent for a bit, looking down at the view. The sound of muffled talking reached distantly to where they were, but up there it was private. No one but them.

"Isn't it crazy? How we've only known eachother for a week and yet I already feel so close to you. I've already told you things no one else knows. I guess you just... inspire trust in me."

Katya looked at her, smiling. She had a faint smell of cigars. She had been smoking, Trixie noticed.

"You too. Although, I haven't told you much about me yet."

"You don't have to if you feel like it's to soon."

"No, I want you to know. If that's ok with you."

"Sure, go ahead." Trixie turned towards Katya, giving her all her attention.

"Well... I'm not actually here to do house sitting. I mean, I do that, but that's not the reason why I came. I ran out of home."

Trixie tried not to look too surprised, but she was. "You ran out of home... to the other side of the world?"

"I know it seems a little extreme, it's just..." Katya lowered her gaze, hugging her legs against her. Under the open sky, and in that position, she looked so small. "I couldn't stay there. Not in that country, not with my family. I had to get as far away as possible."

>I started considering leaving last year. I was scrolling through the internet when I saw an advertisement about international schools with exchange programs. I looked into it and I found that Pinewood had the six month exchange option. I immediately signed in for it, because I have a friend living near the area, so at least I knew someone.  
After that, I needed somewhere to stay. I was going to ask this friend to let me stay with her, but then my aunt got a job opportunity at a cruise around that exact time. I asked her if l could stay in her house, and after a few days of bargain, she agreed.

Trixie just focused on listening to the story. Clearly it was something Katya had a hard time talking about, but she appreciated that she felt safe enough with her to open up.

"Do your parents know?" She asked.

"Yeah, they do. At first they thought I was on a trip with some family friends because it was the same day I left. But then they came back and I was still gone so they realised what happened."

>They looked for me in the city, the state, and even asked friends from across the country. Nothing. My mom called my aunt to talk about it and she guessed that she knew something. She thought I was blackmailing her at first, that I had been threating her with something so she'd let me stay at her house and keep it a secret.

"Is that what your argument was about? With your mom?" Trixie hoped she wasn't crossing a boundary with that question, but Katya didn't seem to mind.

"Yeah. My aunt couldn't keep lying to her sister, it wasn't fair for her. So I told her. She went nuts, screaming and yelling and threating me. After about an hour I got her to calm down, and I reminded her that she owed me money. Like... a lot of it. She sent it to me, which is what I bought the bike with."

"Wait, so... if she is mad that you're gone, and she knows where you are and what school you're going to... why didn't she bring you back? Or call the school to stop you from going? I don't know, something."

Katya laughed, but it had a sad undertone in it. She shrugged, looking back at Trixie.

"Because she doesn't want me there. Neither does my dad. They're just mad because I defied their authority, and I actually got away with it for once. They don't actually care about me though. If they wanted me back, I'd be back by now. They're pissed that I ran away, but actually? They're glad I'm gone. My mom basically told me not to come back. They managed to get rid of me without even doing anything themselves."

Trixie felt her heart tug. She didn't deserve to be treated like that. Trixie herself had a lot of issues and arguments with her parents, but she liked to believe it wasn't to that degree.

She looked at Katya, and for once she saw her as what she truly was. A lost teenager, a young girl that no longer had a home to go back to or a family to support her. She was alone, on the other side of the world, having to fend for herself.

She looked at the stars, empathy growing deep in her heart.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope it gets better for you soon. You have me here if you ever need anything. Seriously Kat, anything." Katya smiled at her, this time with a good sentiment.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me. What about you though? What had you so distressed? I feel like I just put your feelings aside with my soap opera story."

"No, not at all. It's just... Someone I didn't expect to see again is back in town. Back in my life, basically. I had already moved on and... I don't know, this brings me back to a time I wish to forget."

"Want to talk about it?" Katya said, looking at her kindly. Trixie found herself nodding.

"His name is Brayden. We met in freshman year. Back then, we didn't talk much. We had a couple of classes together but that was it, we were never close. Until sophomore year came around, and we both started to have a reputation. I was co-captain of the cheerleading team, and he was captain of the football one." Katya changed her posture, so that she was fully facing Trixie.

>As you might expect, people started to talk. They stared saying how we would make a good couple, and we would look cute together. I wasn't into him, but one day I found a letter of him in my locker asking me on a date. I felt like I couldn't say no, because everyone expected us to be together, so I agreed. One week later we're dating.  
For the first year, I tried to convince myself I liked him. I tried to fool myself into thinking I was attracted, that I actually saw him that away. And for a while it worked, until a certain party.

>>The whole school was invited, I don't even remember whose house it was. Brayden didn't go because he was feeling sick, but I went with the girls from the team. It was deep into the night, and I was a little bit drunk, and I ended up making out with some random girl that was there as a plus one.

Katya looked at her with a half a smile. She clearly understood the situation, which made Trixie feel more comfortable.

"It felt like nothing I've felt before. Kissing Brayden never had that effect on me. I panicked, because I had been suppressing my feelings for women for a long time. I thought maybe I could still like men, until I slept with Bradyen and well..." She took a deep breath, hugging her arms near her. "I hated it. After it was done and he fell asleep, I locked myself in the bathroom and I cried. I was disgusted with myself because I wished he was a girl."

Katya gave her a compassionate look, and she put her arm in her shoulder, making small circles with her finger. Trixie took another shaky breath. She felt the weight of the secret coming off her shoulders. No one else knew about that.

"After that, I was miserable. I knew I didn't like men, but I was already dating him and everyone was invested, and he seemed to really care. I didn't want to break his hearth or disappoint anyone, so I didn't end it. Eventually, towards the end of Junior year, his family had to move away to London because of a job offering.

>I convinced him that a distance relationship wasn't going to work because I cared too much and I couldn't do it. So, we broke up. And I know this sounds bad but I was so relieved. Because I wouldn't have to see him again and I didn't have to pretend anymore.

Katya squeezed her shoulder a little. With the way she was looking at her, there was no need for words. She understood her, she knew what it was like. Trixie hadn't felt so happy to have in her life.

"But anyway, now he's back in town and I don't know what I'm going to do because our families basically want us back together, and I think he does too, and we're going out for dinner tonight and I..."

"Woah, woah, woah, ok, stop." Said Katya, grabbing her by the shoulders. She was right in front of her, her face dimly lit by the moonlight. "You're overthinking it."

"But..."

"No, listen. You've had enough stress this week, I won't just sit here and watch you loose your head over some dumb boy. You are amazing and you got this, you understand? You've matured since the last time you saw eachother, and you'll know how to handle him when the time comes. And if you don't, you can always talk to me, and I'll have your back. But right now? Right now you need to clear your head and enjoy your fucking night because goddamit, you deserve it."

Trixie was surprised by her words. She wasn't used to hearing stuff like that, and she wasn't complaining. She smiled, feeling better. Katya smiled too.

However, she didn't drift away. In fact, she got even closer, their foreheads almost touching.

Trixie realized how close they were, and blush rose to her cheeks. She had her eyes locked with Katya, staring deeply into them. Under the night sky, they looked a pretty blue.

A couple of seconds went by, but neither pulled apart. Trixie's heart started to beat faster, her hands slowly making their way to Katya's arms, who were still holding her thight.

She noticed Katya's eyes drifting to her lips. Hers also wandered around the impossibly red ones the other had. The tension started growing, and Trixie felt herself leaning in, getting closer...

"JASOOOON!!"

The sound of the scream made them both bolt apart. Trixie's heart was still beating fast, both from the previous moment and the scare of the sound.

She looked over the edge of the roof, finding a middle aged woman screaming at the top of her lungs to a little boy that was hiding in a bush under the gym.

"Jason I swear to god, if you don't come to the car, RIGHT NOW, I'm deleting all your Mario Kart progress. I mean it."

Trixie leaned back to the roof, getting away from the edge. She looked over at Katya. She had her hand above her chest, clearly she had been scared too.

Trixie also noticed she was blushing. A lot. She was glad she wasn't the only one that had got flustered, but looking at Katya like that felt different. She rarely ever blushed, so the sight was new.

However, the moment was over.

"So uh... I gotta go back. My mom told me to hurry up and it's been a while."

"Yeah, sure. I'll go down in a bit, I'm going to get another smoke."

"Okay then... I'll see you later. Congrats on making it forward."

"You too. Good night."

"Night."

Trixie turned around, and down the stairs. As she walked to where they were waiting for her, she felt a smile rise to her face. The memory of Katya's eyes shining under the moonlight, her body so close she could feel it's heat, and her hands grabbing firmly on her shoulders, was something she wasn't going to forget easily.

Actually, she didn't want to forget.

So, she held on the memory, the feel of her fast beating heart still fresh, the blush just starting to rise down.

She felt confident, happy, and secure. Despite the conversation having a grim undertone, it had only pulled them closer in their friendship.

That was a night for Trixie to remember, although the tournament was the least important part about it. No, what she was going to remember had a name, soft blonde hair and captivating eyes.

And at that moment, walking through the soft grass of the field, nothing else mattered.


	7. Phonecalls and details

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey! 
> 
> I'm sorry this update took so long, but between school and my poor mental health, it took me a lot to finish this. I don't want to force myself to write if I'm not feeling it, because then the text feels forced and insincere, and I don't want that to be what I present here. I hope you guys can understand the delay :( 
> 
> anyway, new chapter! It's a little shorter than usual, and tbh it's not my favourite thing I've written, but there's a little something I really enjoyed writing, and I think you will like it too! 
> 
> from here on, the good stuff begins 👁️👁️ 
> 
> without further ado, I leave you to start reading. 
> 
> be gay, do crime, and enjoy! 💓 
> 
> (ps. it's Trixie's birthday! happy 🐰 day!)

Trixie realised it was a bad idea as soon as they walked in the restaurant.

The place was packed, every table with at least two people in it. The group walked in, being considerably too large for a normal table. They waited patiently as the waiters arranged a place where they fit. 

Trixie was with her friends and family, but that didn't stop her from feeling uncomfortable. She was overly aware of Brayden's gaze on her. He wasn't trying to hide it.

She wanted to disappear and become one with the ground, just fading in where they couldn't reach her.

But she couldn't do that, so she stood in her place and awkwardly smiled.

Eventually they were sitting down. They split the seating in two, the adults on one side, and Trixie, her friends and Brayden on the other.

She sat between Kim and Naomi, trying to stay as far away from him as possible.

The first minutes went by with a blurr, as everyone looked at the menus and ordered. She agreed to share something with Naomi; she wasn't specially hungry that night.

After they placed their orders, it was back to being awkward. They had about forty minutes to spare while they waited, and Trixie was just hoping to avoid a certain topic that was looking at her just a seat away.

This, however, didn't happen.

"So, Brayden, how does it feel to be back? I've missed seeing you hang with the girls." Asked Trixie's mom, apparently very excited over his presence.

Trixie gulped down, avoiding eye contact.

"Well, I missed it here. A lot. I'm excited to see what happens now, I truly feel at home again." 

"And I'm sure Trixie feels the same, right? You guys were so close." Said Brayden's mom. Everyone turned their gaze to Trixie, expecting her answer.

"Um, yes. It's nice to have him back." She forced out a smile, hoping it looked real enough.

The adults seemed to believe it, but her friends knew her well enough to see beyond the charade.

Underneath the table, Kim slightly kicked her leg against hers. Trixie looked over at her, and she was smiling in support. She knew how uncomfortable she felt, and Trixie was glad to have someone help her out a little.

"So, have any of you guys heard the new Gaga album? Because I need to talk about that ASAP." Naomi said, in order to divert the conversation.

It worked, and thankfully the topic shifted to something different. Trixie was thankful with her for doing so, she knew how much it mattered. However, it was only half a solution. 

On the other end of the table, the adults started speaking. Brayden's mom had asked something about the neighborhood, when Trixie's mom answered something that left her frozen on her seat.

"It's good as it's always been, but I'm a little worried about who is allowed in. Recently this girl moved in, just a couple of houses down the block." 

Trixie felt her heart stop, immediately alert. They were talking about Katya. She tried to play it cool, but she was no longer listening to Naomi. She wanted to know what they had to say.

"She has a lot of potential, she's pretty and has blonde wavy hair, but she threw it all away. Her arms are filled with tattoos, and she's always wearing those weird dark clothes."

"And the motorcycle. She rides one everywhere." Trixie's dad said, adding in to the conversation.

"Oh, yes, that too! That poor girl has thrown her life away, she's so off the tracks it's sad. I can't even believe how they let her in. We should be more worried about our safety, specially our young. With such an influence..." 

Trixie gulped down, trying to get distracted with something else. She didn't want to hear what they were saying anymore, she couldn't handle it. 

A few months before, she would've agreed. She would've accepted the thought that this girl meant trouble, and that she should be avoided. 

But this was Katya they were talking about. Katya with her bright blue eyes, her bright smile and her warm hands. Katya that smelled like oranges and didn't have a place to call home. 

This was her friend, and it hurt her to hear such judgemental opinions about her. She didn't even want to hear what they'd say if they found out she didn't like men and smoked.

She tried to ignore them, focusing back on the conversation with her friends, but they had already switched topics and she didn't know what they were talking about anymore. So, she just focused on smiling and nodding, pretending she knew what was going on.

The rest of the night went by the same. Trixie trying to avoid Brayden, and actively trying not to think of Katya. 

Until finally, after what felt like forever, they got up to leave. Everyone stared to walk towards the parking lot, but Trixie stood behind.

"I'll go use the restroom really quick, meet you outside." 

She went towards the bathroom area. It was in the further corner of the restaurant, dimly lit with a yellow lamp. 

There was the bathroom door, and two sinks outside. She didn't need to use the restroom though, she only needed to wash her hands. They were sticky with the wing sauce and she wanted the feeling off her.

She was in the middle of rinsing out the soap, when she felt a presence behind her.

"Hey. Messy food, huh?" 

She didn't have to turn around to know who it was. She closed the faucet, but didn't turn around.

"Yeah, it is." 

One second. Two, three.

"Listen, I... I missed you. I know we both agreed to finish things up, but I never really..."

"Brayden, stop. Just... don't do this right now, please." She turned around, looking at the boy standing in front of her. He was taller, with light brown hair and dark glowing eyes.

She remembered a time in which she desperately wanted to love him. Where that was her goal, her motivation.  
Now, looking at him again, she felt silly for ever believing she could do such thing.

"I'm tired, Brayden. It's been a long night. We can talk about this later, just... not right now. Please."

"I understand. But we also need to have that conversation, Trixie. We can't pretend like there's nothing between us. Like it's over." 

She gulped down, lowering her gaze. "I'll see you outside." She walked past him, and back outside.

She knew she couldn't avoid him forever, but she might as well try. 

Outside, they said said their goodbyes, as each family parted their ways. She hugged her friends goodbye, and gave a kiss in the cheek to their parents.

Eventually Brayden came out, but she was able to somewhat ignore him. Thankfully for Trixie, her mom was getting tired, so they didn't prolongue the talking.

As they got inside their car, she realised how cold it was. The air was blowing strong, and the pale light of the moon only seemed to enhance the feeling. She didn't know how she had managed to stay in the rooftop without her jacket.

Oh, the rooftop. She was trying to avoid thinking about it, because of how many things it made her feel. Just the memory made her heart rush.

What had that been about? She could pretend and play dumb all she wanted, but she couldn't deny the reality. They had almost kissed. She had almost kissed Katya.

Now, as she rolled down the highway on her way back home, it felt surreal, almost like a dream. They had been so close, to the point where she could see herself in Katya's eyes. 

Trixie rested her head in the window, glad to be in darkness, so that her blush and slight smile were hidden. The memory was fresh, still lingering in her mind like a fantasy. 

She remembered how warm Katya's touch was, how blue her eyes looked, how deeply she had looked into them.

She remembered the feeling of their foreheads touching, her breath as she came forward... 

She found herself holding back a sigh. They hadn't actually kissed, and she knew it was probably for the best.

They were friends, that was all. She couldn't go around kissing girls, feeling things for them. Specially not Katya.

So, she held on the memory, knowing it was just that. A memory. It wasn't going to happen again, she couldn't allow it. 

Getting that close to Katya was playing with fire, and she didn't want to get burnt. 

So, she closed her eyes, engraving into her mind the memory of a cold night and shining blue eyes, in an attempt to not go running back to them.

-  
-  
-

On the other side of town, a few hours later, a girl and a woman sat down around a table on the back of a club. 

The white light above them flickered every now and then, and the muffled sounds from the music and the bass got to them through the door and walls.

The younger one basically threw herself on the chair, resting her head on the table. She was so tired she felt like she was going to fall asleep.

"You ok, kiddo? You've had something on your mind today, don't think I haven't noticed." The oldest put her legs on top of the table, leaning back on her chair. 

Katya just grunted, not lifting her head from the table.

"Come on, share your topic with the class. I don't like seeing you so down." 

Katya rested her head on her arm, so that her face was facing the other girl. 

"I just... I got confused today. About my feelings." 

Willam raised her eyebrows, suddenly interested in the topic. 

"Feelings? As in, that type of feelings? Come on girl spill, who is the lucky one?" 

"She's my friend, but I think... I think I like her." 

Willam giggled, entertained by the situation. She put her legs down from the table, leaning in forward, resting her elbows on the table.

"It's just..." Katya went on, playing with a strand of her hair. "She's so beautiful, and I can't get her off my mind. And today we almost... Nevermind, the point is she's my friend, and I don't want to scare her off." 

"Ok, let's see. Does she like girls?" 

"Yes, but..." 

"You said you almost something today, I'm assuming you almost kissed. That means there's at least a slight chance she likes you, right?" 

"I don't know if I'd call it that." 

"Oh, come on Katya! The proof is there! Don't overthink this, or else it will be your doom. Just... go with it, see where it leads you. I don't think you'll scare her off, specially if she's your friend." 

Katya gave her a half smile, clearly relieved.

"Now come on, wake up, we have one more performance before we can go home. That coin won't be earned alone." 

Katya laughed, reclutantly sitting properly on the chair. She was glad to have someone to talk to, specially with everything going on in her mind. 

As she did the last performance, her mind was busy trying to organise her thoughts. She had no point in denying it, she definitely liked Trixie, and wanted to get closer to her. 

However, it was a little scary. Her past experiences with relationships were rocky, never anything truly stable or healthy, so she wasn't sure where to start.

She didn't even know if Trixie wanted to start.

But she was willing to try, give it a chance. She wasn't going to miss the opportunity.

-  
-  
-

Trixie was hoping the new week was going to be easy with her, but of course, it wasn't. 

As soon as she arrived to school, she knew things were not going to be so great. Around the entrance, was a group of people in a circle, surrounding someone she couldn't see.

As she got closer to the entrance, the group scattered, revealing who it was. There, in the middle of the circle, stood Brayden.

Trixie walked by faster, but it was too late, he had seen her.

"Hi Trixie! How are you?" 

She turned around slowly, feeling awkward under all those expecting eyes.

"I'm fine, thanks. Can we talk for a moment?" She didn't wait for him to answer, and just grabbed him by the arm, dragging him away to a separate spot to the side of the school.

"Why are you here?" She asked, trying not to sound rude. She wasn't expecting him to be back at her school, and it made her feel highly uncomfortable.

"Right, I forgot to tell you. I'm back at school! I mean, there's still six months left, and I missed it here. Thought I'd end Highschool were I started it."

Trixie crossed her arms, trying not to loose her peace. She wasn't planning on letting him know how much she didn't want his presence, but he had already noticed. She hadn't been great at hiding it.

"Trixie, we need to talk. I can see you being weird around me, and I don't want that to be the truth. Our truth." She shrinked in her place, feeling small under his tall body and piercing gaze.

"Alright. We can talk. Meet me today outside of the locker rooms, at lunch time. It'll be empty then." 

"Ok. I'll see you then." He smiled at her, before turning back to where his friends were. 

Trixie sighed, resting her body against a wall. She couldn't avoid the conversation forever, and she was aware of that. The sooner she got it over with, the better.

The first half of the day felt like it was taking forever. Trixie was a little nervous about her talk with Brayden, and it was all her mind was focused on. 

She didn't understand any of the words coming out of the teachers mouths as they talked and explained the new topics. She didn't get too worried though, school was something that she did with ease, and all she needed to do was borrow someone's notes and read them, in order to understand the topic.

So, she didn't pay any attention. She was too busy rehearsing what she wanted to say, and the point she wanted to get across. 

She was going to let Brayden know that she had no interest in getting back together with him, but she had to improvise a reason. He couldn't know the actual one. Trixie was not about to tell her ex-boyfriend that she didn't want to date him anymore because she liked girls. 

Eventually, recess arrived. It felt both like a relief and a curse.

Trixie had a bit of a hard time convincing her friends to let her go alone. They knew that she felt uncomfortable around Brayden, and they wanted to supervise his every move.

After about five minutes, she finally convinced them she had to do that alone, but that she'd go looking for them if something went wrong or she need help of any sort.

Now, she was alone, walking down the hallway and making her way across the school and into the field, heading towards the locker rooms.

The day wasn't particularly warm, but it wasn't cold either. The soft breeze ruffled her hair, and the heavy clouds in the sky made it look a soft grey. 

She pulled her sweater closer to her, the feeling of the soft fabric serving as comfort. 

There, sitting with his back to the outside of the building, was Brayden.

Trixie approached him slowly, taking her time in the walk. She looked around, suddenly realising where they were. 

The locker rooms, next to the gym. She slightly looked up, to where she knew the roof was. 

Her heart skipped a beat with the memory from a few nights ago, still too fresh, still too new. 

She tried to shake it off, trying to focus on something else, as she sat down next to Brayden.

They sat in silence for a little while, before he started speaking.

"I missed you, Trixie. I missed you, and my friends, and this town. I hated it back there, it wasn't horrible but it wasn't home." 

Trixie lowered her gaze to her hands, her mind immediately going back to Katya. Is that how she felt about Russia? Did it not feel like home for her? Did...? 

_No, stop. This isn't about Katya. Focus._ She reminded herself, a little annoyed over how often the blonde girl kept coming in her thoughts.

"Listen, we never talked after I left and I'm... I'm sorry about that. It was a very shitty move from my part. From one day to another I went from being your boyfriend to breaking up with you and telling you I was moving to the other side of the world. It wasn't fair, and I'm sorry I made you go through that." 

Trixie swallowed the knot in her throat. She didn't mention the fact that the event he was referring to hadn't got her sad, but rather had brought big relief into her life. That would be a cruel thing to say.

"But when I was away, things were put into perspective, and... I realized I had made a mistake by letting you go. I realized how dumb I had been for letting such an amazing girl out of my life." 

Trixie didn't bring her gaze up. She couldn't bare to face him. What was she even supposed to say? 'Hey, I never liked you or was attracted to you, it was all just an act to convince myself I was straight, but now I know I like women and I don't want you.' 

It was the truth, but she wasn't ready to say that yet. She wasn't sure if she was ever going to be.

"Which is why I was wondering.... if you'd want to give me a second chance. All I ask for is another chance to prove myself, to show you I'll treat you right this time. And to give you everything you deserve and more."

"I... I don't know Brayden. I need some time to think, because right now I don't... I don't have feelings for you." She took a deep breath, forcing herself to look at him. He was looking back at her with attention. "You left, Brayden. You left and I stayed here and I moved on. I didn't have any other choice, to be honest. My life went on without you, I made new friends and continued on, sure that I'd never see you again. So to suddenly have you back... I don't know. I wasn't expecting that."

"Are you seeing someone?" He asked, suddenly serious. His gaze and posture made Trixie feel small.

"I... What?" 

"Yes, I asked if you're already seeing someone." 

Trixie blinked in shock. She wasn't expecting that to be his answer, and she wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"No, I'm not. And if I did, you don't get to be jealous about that. Not anymore." 

"I know, I'm sorry." He said, going back to his kind look. Trixie was relieved, but also a little concerned over such a change in his attitude. "I'm working on that." 

Trixie nodded, and they sat in silence for a while, none of them really knowing what to say anymore.

"Well, I have to get back, I'm supposed to have lunch with the boys." Brayden said, getting up. Trixie didn't stand, she just lifted her gaze up to where he was. "It was good to talk to you again. I hope we can hang out more." 

"Sure, you too." 

"And... think about what I said, ok? See you around Trixie." 

She smiled, watching him walk back to the cafeteria. However, she didn't feel like following. There wasn't a lot of recess left, and she needed some time away from the people at school. She felt like she was being watched now that Brayden was back. Nobody tried to hide their curiosity.

Once, they had been considered a power couple. Everyone knew they were dating, and people seemed to be obessed with their relationship. They were two perfect examples of what everyone wanted as a friend, lover and child. At least that's what they looked like they were.

Now that Brayden was back, everyone's interest spiked again. Everyone wondered if they were going to get back together, and rumours and drama had already strated being made. Trixie couldn't handle that right now.

So, she found herself doing something she didn't think she'd do. As she dialed the phone number, she regretted making the decision a little too late, the sound of a click indicating the other person had picked up. 

"Hi beautiful, whatever has you calling this early?"

Trixie sighed, leaning back on the wall. "Hi Katya. Am I not interrupting you? Shouldn't you be in class right now?" 

"Fun fact, I didn't have class today. Turns out, the bathroom pipes decided to do the shimmy last night, and everything overflowed. The teachers found out this morning, but it was too much water to take out mannualy, and nobody was working that early in the day, so they had to cancel class for the day. I'm just hanging out in my bed, so no, you don't interrupt much. Why? What happened?" 

"First of all, that sounds amazing and I wished it happened more often in my school." Katya giggled on the other side of the line, making Trixie's heart skip a beat. "And well, I just called because... nevermind actually, it's stupid." 

"What? No, you have to tell me now! You've peaked my interest. Besides, if you called it's because it matters to you. Your feelings aren't stupid, ok? You can talk about them."

Trixie smiled at the phone, feeling a little more confident.

"It's just... Remember the ex I told you about? How he's back in town? Well, turns out he's back in my school too. I wasn't expecting having to see him every day again, and I don't know if I can do it. I've also been having a very stressful couple of days and... I just need a break. Everyone tries to give advice, or doesn't know the full story, but you just... listen. It's easy to talk to you." 

The line went silent for a little, and Trixie was scared she has said something wrong, or annoyed Katya with her complaints. She was about to apologize when she answered. 

"I agree when you say you need a break. You put too much pressure on yourself, Trix. And listen, this ex guy? You can handle him and more. Don't let some bland straight boy ruin your mood, ok? You deserve better than that." Trixie giggled, the words of the other girl giving her the comfort she needed. 

"Thanks for listening to me, Kat. It means a lot." 

"I'm here every day, at any hour you wish to call. I mean that." 

Trixie smiled again, feeling better. She planned on talking to Katya for the rest of recess. Or the rest of the day, she didn't really mind. However, the sound of a bell interrupted that thought. She jumped in her place, her heart racing with the scare.

"I have to go now, my recess is over. I'll talk to you later."

"Alright. Have a nice day, Barbie doll. And if this guys bothers you, just send him my way."

"Noted. Bye, Kat." She hung up the phone, holding it against her chest for a little, as if that way she could keep the other girl close.

Eventually, she got up, going back inside the school building, Katya's words still lingering in her head. 'You can handle him and more'. She walked more confidently, feeling motivated again. 

The rest of the school day went by quickly, although it was hard to ignore the glances and whispers that people made when they were around her, she didn't mind as much.

After the classes were over, she was finally riding back home, once again in Kim's car. It felt a little weird going home like that, since she had got used to Katya's bike. 

She wasn't complaining though, she also missed the ride home talks with Kim, where they talked about the events from that school day.

Once Trixie got home, she was so tired her main thought was taking a nap. She dragged her steps to the door, getting inside with a sigh, ready to go sleep for the afternoon.

Her mom was going outside, something Trixie wasn't expecting to see. Usually she was arriving from work at that time, not heading out of the house. 

"Mom? Where are you going?" 

"Oh, hi Trixie! I needed to come home to retrieve some files, but I'm going back now. There's food in the fridge, just heat it up later, ok? We'll be back at night." 

She was in a rush, walking from one side of the living room to another, grabbing her purse and keys. She walked up to where Trixie was, giving her a kiss on the forehead, before opening the door to leave.

"Oh, I almost forgot. There's a little something for you that was left at the door, I put it on the kitchen table for you, dear." She said, winking an eye at her. She closed the door and left before Trixie could say anything else. 

She was confused. Who would leave her something? 

She walked up to the kitchen, and there, in the middle of the table, layed a small cardboard box. In the front, was a printed out sticker that said 'To: Trixie'. 

She got confused, but she was curious to know what was inside. The tape was not cut, which meant her mom hadn't snooped in. At least that was a relief.

She carried the box upstairs, putting it on her bed. She went to look for scissors to open it up, and as she sat down in front of it, she got worried about what it was.

Her mind immediately went to Brayden. He had probably sent her something to try and get her back, some annoying and cringey thing he assumed she liked. 

She was prepared to not like what she was going to find as she slid the scissors across the tape. She sighed, already annoyed with the thought, when she opened the box.

The first thing that caught her eye was a note. It was folded in half. Trixie held it on her hands, unfolding it while expecting the worse.

As soon as she started reading it, her heart skipped a beat. Inside, it read: 

' _Hi beautiful, I know how stressed you've been, and I thought I'd give you a little help with that! I got you a few little things, and a little treat, I hope you like it :) I'm assuming you will, based on your chapstick, which, by the way, I bought you a new one of._

_I hope you enjoy this, and remember, you're amazing! You got this girl!_

_\- Katya, XO'_

Trixie smiled, feeling blush rise to her cheeks. She put the note down on her bed, taking out the contents of the box. 

Inside, was a box of chocolate covered strawberries, each one nicely decorated with white chocolate drizzle. Next to that, a new pack of the strawberry chapstick she had let Katya borrow.

Finally, at the bottom of the box, was a baby pink nail polish, and a keychain of a penguin. 

Trixie almost started crying. She couldn't believe that Katya had actually spent so much time and money on her, only to get her something just because she was feeling stressed? 

She flopped down on her bed, smiling and holding the note against her chest. She reached out to her phone, sending a text.
    
    
      **Barbie doll**
    
    
    
    I loved everything. I mean it, thank you so much Kat. guess I'll have to return your shirt now, huh? or buy a new one?
    
    
    4:03 pm

Immediately, her phone buzzed with the notification of the reply.
    
    
      **Kat💫**
    
    
    
    don't worry about that, you can keep it ;) I'm glad you like it, I was freaking out about if you would. hope it makes you feel a little better.
    
    
    4:03 pm

Trixie smiled again, taking it all in. She opened the box of strawberries, biting into one of them. They were delicious.

She was going to save the other ones for later, she didn't want to finish them all on a sitting. As she put them on her side table, she felt inspired, and immediately went over to her bathroom, taking off her current nail polish, in order to try the new one.

And like that, the rest of the day went by. Her heart was overflowing with happiness, the little gift enough to make her day. 

She didn't stop to think about what those feelings meant, or why did they mean so much, but rather just focused on enjoying them.

For once, she allowed herself to just feel. It was something she had been working on doing, just letting herself go and enjoying the moment. 

Eventually, later at night and when her parents asked about the box, she didn't tell them about the gifts. She made up some story about how a girl from the cheerleading team had accidentally taken home her practice uniform, and had returned it in the way of a package.

It wasn't the most logical thing, but her parents bought it, and that was enough for her. She didn't feel like answering questions and giving explanations. Specially not now that they knew who Katya was, and they weren't necessarily fans of her.

So, she kept it a secret from them. She didn't mind though, she actually liked it better that way. It felt personal, like it only belonged to the two of them.

And at night, when she was falling asleep, she felt at peace. She felt comfortable, calm.

She felt loved. And that was enough.


	8. Friends and nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello you beautiful people! I know, I know, this chapter took FOREVER. I'm sorry it took me this long to write, but I was feeling very uninspired and I needed a break. but now we're back strong! 
> 
> I hope you guys can enjoy this episode, and let me just say that I think you are going to really like the next one. I know I do, I'm already working on it and I can't wait for you to read it! 
> 
> anygays, I hope you're all doing good, and if you already started school I wish you lots of luck! we got this together! haha
> 
> without further ado, I leave you with my mantra, hoping next chapter won't take as long.
> 
> be gay, do crime, and enjoy! 💕

It was Tuesday night. It was cold. 

Trixie layed in bed, bored as she could be. For once, she didn't have any homework or leftover schoolwork, she wasn't in the middle of watching any shows, and she had already had dinner.

Now, she was just... laying there, with nothing to do. She was passing time, watching the minutes go by, waiting for her body to get tired enough to sleep. 

Her parents were already in their room, watching some trashy reality TV. They had invited her to watch it with them, but Trixie didn't like that show, and she preferred being alone. However, now, in the middle of boredom, she started to consider it.

She reached out next to her, unlocking her phone to send a text to Katya.
    
    
      **Barbie Doll**
    
    
    
    im bored. like, a lot. wyd?
    
    
    8:56 pm

She stared at her screen for a couple of minutes. Katya had seen her text, but there was no answer. Rude.

Trixie sighed, reclutantly standing up. She turned off the harsh white light of her bedroom, and turned on the set of fairy lights that hung above her bed instead. They were shaped like little stars, and they lit up the room with a soft reddish light. 

It was more cozy, and easier to the eyes. She layed down again, this time on the floor. She stared at the ceiling, slowly drifting away to sleep, when she heard a strange sound.

It was coming from outside, and she wasn't sure what it was. It didn't sound like an animal, or at least not a small one. She stayed in her place, trying to convince herself she was just being paranoid and that it was probably just some outdoors cat.

She was almost fully convinced, when she heard a knock on her window. That, she couldn't make up. 

She felt her heart skip a beat, adrenaline immediately rushing through her body. She stood still, somehow believing that would keep her safe from whatever it was that was knocking on her window.

Another knock, and another. Then, the ruffling of leaves. Whatever that was, it was hanging from the tree next to her bedroom. And it was trying to get in.

It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she didn't have much of an option. She sighed, gathering courage, and stood up from the ground, immediately getting into a defensive position. 

When she realised what was going on, she felt silly for the pose she was in.

On the other side of the window, weirdly hanging from the top of the tree, was Katya. She smiled at Trixie, signaling her to open up the window. 

Trixie dusted off her pants, before following the girl's instructions and opening the window up.

"Kat, what are you doing?"

"I'll explain in a moment, but could you maybe help me get in? I overestimated my arm strength, I feel like I'm about to fall from this tree." 

Trixie laughed at the situation for a little, before helping Katya inside her bedroom.

Once inside, Katya also dusted off her clothes, getting rid of leaves and tiny pieces of branches from the tree. Trixie looked at her trying not to laugh, when suddenly the reality of the situation hit her.

She was in her bedroom. Katya was in her bedroom and her parents didn't know.

Her heart immediately started racing, and as Katya was about to start talking, Trixie shushed her with her finger. Katya blinked back in suprise from the action.

"We can't be loud." Trixie said, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Actually, you can't stay here. If my parents find out you're here they will kill you." 

Trixie took her hand back, letting Katya free to speak. Thankfully, she also whispered.

"You're overreacting, doll."

"No, I mean it. I can literally see my dad attempting to murder you." Katya's smile faded, switching to a look of mild concern. "Yeah, I don't really trust him that much to be honest." 

"Okay, but... he doesn't know me. I can pretend to be some new girl from your cheerleading team or something if he finds me. Which, by the way, he won't."

"Actually... he does know you. Kind of." Katya frowned, looking at her on a questioning way, as she sat on the edge of the bed. Trixie crossed her arms in front of her, anxiously looking between her and the door. "They talked about you on Friday. About how they've seen you around the neighborhood. And let's just say they're not necessarily your fans." 

Katya tensed a little, and though she tried not to show it, Trixie noticed. She clearly wasn't expecting her parents to know who she was, she was probably hoping to start from scratch.

"In that case, I guess I'll leave. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." She got up from the bed, walking towards the window again. "I should've asked before barging in, I'm sorry. I'll see you later, then." 

Katya started to put her leg through the window, when Trixie grabbed her by the arm, stopping her from doing so. Katya looked back expectantly.

"Wait, I..." Trixie took a deep breath, looking at her bedroom door and back at Katya. "I don't want you to leave. It's crazy and we're both doomed if they find you here but... I miss hanging out with you, and I feel alone here. Besides, you're already in my house so... might as well stay a little longer." 

Katya smiled at her, and Trixie smiled back. She wasn't wearing her usual red lipstick (actually, she wasn't wearing any makeup), but her smile looked just as captivating as any other day.

With renewed energy, Katya hopped back into the room, and Trixie almost immediately went to lock the door. 

"Ok, here's the plan. If my parents try to get in you'll hide in the closet, close the door and just stay there, ok?"

"Roger that." Katya winked at Trixie, finally relaxing. She put her hair up in a messy bun with an elastic she had on her wrist, and started to walk around the room.

Trixie sat on the edge of her bed, watching as Katya examined her room. She suddenly became overly conscious about every little flaw.

The sweater that was hanging from her chair, the makeup that was out of place, the shoes laying in the corner.

"I like your room. Is nicely decorated." Trixie blinked in surprise. She wasn't expecting that response, but it was a relief.

"Thanks, I try my best. I haven't seen your room yet." 

"It's, uh... I don't have much in it yet. I don't know if I will since it's my aunt's house. I don't want to mess with her aesthetic too much."

Katya walked around the room, distantly touching the walls and taking the space in. Trixie knew all houses on that neighborhood were built the same, which meant Katya knew the space distribution. However it must feel different with all the furniture and decorations. Also, one of her walls was painted pink.

"Alright, so... what do we do now?" 

"Well, we can't be loud because my parents can't know you're here... Oh, I know! I could do your makeup, maybe?" 

"I am your canvas, miss Mattel." 

Katya sat down on the floor, with her back to Trixie's bed. She went to grab her makeup bag, and sat down in front of her, crossing her legs.

She put a soft fluffy band in Katya's hair to put her baby hairs behind, getting close to her face. Trixie's heart fluttered when she realised Katya was starting deep into her eyes, but she tried to shake it off. 

"Can I put on some music? I will have low volume." 

"Sure, go ahead." 

Katya put her playlist on shuffle, turning the volume down. An unknown melody started playing, and soon the singer started to let out lyrics in what Trixie assumed was russian. She obviously didn't know what any of the words meant, but the music was catchy.

Aside from the melody, the first couple of minutes were silent. It was a little weird for Trixie to be that close to Katya's face, but the action of the makeup allowed her to focus on something else.

Katya's voice was almost a whisper when she spoke. 

"Tell me more about you. I feel like we've talked a lot about really personal stuff, but I don't know much about you in general yet. We can exchange facts maybe? You tell me something about you and then I do." 

"Alright, well..." Trixie started to put on the concealer. She was taking her time with the steps, they weren't in a hurry and the feeling was too ethereal to want to end it. "I used to straighten my hair before because I was insecure about my curls. Your turn."

Katya thought about it for a while, looking softly at Trixie as she blended out the makeup. "I'm a very picky eater. Whenever I find something I like I become obsessed with that until I get sick of it." 

"I broke my ankle once, doing a stunt for the cheerleading team. To this day it still hurts sometimes." 

"About ninety percent of the lispticks I own are some shade of red" 

They went on for the rest of the process, taking turns in saying facts about them. In the background, the music went on with their soft tunes, as to not wake up Trixie's parents.

Trixie was focused on doing Katya's makeup, although she was overly aware of her piercing blue-green eyes looking at her while she did it. Her lips were slightly parted, and every now and then she couldn't help but glance at them.

However, she held back. She couldn't develop feelings for Katya, at least not in a romantic way. It would cause too much trouble, and it would drastically shift her life course. No, she couldn't risk it. 

And yet, she couldn't help herself from longing. She couldn't help but wonder what her lips tasted like, what it would feel like to put them against hers. 

Blush was rising to her cheeks, and she was grateful for the soft red light that hid it. 

A few more minutes went by, and the makeup was done. Trixie didn't have any red lipstick, so she put Katya one of her soft pink lipglosses. She looked different with it, but it was a good kind of different. 

Trixie tried to not obsesse over the fact that one of her products had touched Katya's lips... and it would touch hers eventually.

They stood up from the floor, Katya walking towards the mirror to look at herself. She turned back smiling.

"It's nice, I like it. It's very you." 

"Yeah, sorry I don't have any red shades." 

"Don't worry about it. So, are we doing something else? I don't have work tonight, so we have time. Unless you want me to leave?" Katya asked, putting on a shy pose. Clearly she didn't want to leave yet, and Trixie could see that.

So, before she could even process it, she found herself looking for a specific box she kept hidden.

"I still have some strawberries left if you want some." 

Katya smiled, going to sit on the bed as Trixie pulled the confections out. It was filled a little more than half, and thanks to the cool weather, the chocolate hadn't melted yet.

Trixie sat down next to Katya, pulling out a strawberry as Katya pulled one too. 

After a few bites, Katya finally spoke. 

"They're really good, I was scared they were going to suck because I've never bought anything from that store before. A friend told me to get them there, but she's not very reliable." She said, keeping her gaze away from Trixie. 

"Are you not the gift giving type?" 

"It's not usually my forte, no." Trixie stared at her strawberry, suddenly getting a deeper meaning. Katya wasn't the type of person to have those types of details, and yet she had given one to her.

Suddenly, it hit her. She didn't know if Katya was dating anyone. She hadn't asked, and the topic hadn't come up. Trixie assumed the night of the rooftop had been some sort of tensional moment, but now she wondered if it also had been a near cheating scene.

"Hey, you ok? You went blank there." Katya said, worry painted over her face as she looked at Trixie, who had stopped moving and was just starting down at the half eaten strawberry on her hand.

"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm fine, it's just... Nevermind. Let's talk about something." 

"Alright..." Katya said, not sounding convinced. She took a bite of a new strawberry, and the tension was over. "What are you doing February sixteen?"

Trixie was taken back, a little confused. That was a little over a week away, so it was weird for her that Katya was asking that ahead of time.

"Well I don't have any plans for that day yet, why?" 

"Well, my friend got a coupon for a discount on karaoke night at some place downtown, but we need to be at least three people for it to count. So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go?" 

Trixie made eye contact with Katya, who had just raised her gaze. She was waiting for her answer, distantly playing with a strawberry stem by passing it around her fingers. She was nervous. Katya was rarely nervous.

"I mean, sure. I'd love to go, yes. But, don't you need to be over eighteen to get in? I'm still seventeen." 

"Don't worry about that, I can arrange the pass. It'll be ok, trust me." 

Trixie wasn't fully comfortable with the idea of going to a club being underage, for it was something she never did before. Aside from drinking while being underage, she had never done anything to break the law. However, Katya seemed pretty confident, and she didn't seem to be worried at all.

That made Trixie a little more comfortable. Besides, her birthday wasn't that far away, so it was probably fine.

They continued to talk about their plans and eventually shifted to other topics like movies and books. After hours that flew by like minutes, the strawberry tray was almost over, only a single on left.

At this point, Trixie was already laying down, and Katya was next to her holding herself up by one or her elbows, her head rested on her hand.

The music had changed to a compilation of instrumental music a while ago and neither of them had got up to change it, which gave the moment a different feeling.

Trixie was trying not to freak out over the situation. She was laying on her bed next to Katya, who was looking at her from above, while they had red lights shining over them. 

Her heart was beating fast, and her cheeks were blushed. She was trying her best to conceal it, but it was getting difficult with the circumstances.

"Come on Trix, you can't leave the last strawberry uneaten. It's just one more." 

"I don't want it though, it's too much. You have it." 

"No way, it's yours." Katya said, picking the strawberry up and dangling it in front of Trixie's face. "How about this, you'll bite half of it and then I finish it" 

"Fair enough." Trixie was going to get up to bite the strawberry, when she found it in front of her lips. Realization hit, making her flustered.

Katya was feeding her the strawberry. She was almost above her, holding it in her hands waiting for her to bite it. 

Trixie hestidated for a bit, before leaning in. She bit the first half of it, trying to avoid Katya's eyes as she did it. As she got close, her lips slightly touched Katya's hand, which made her heart skip a beat. She leaned back after the bite, slowly raising her gaze. 

The music had stopped, and Katya was looking deeply at her eyes. She had a certain look Trixie hadn't seen her have before. 

As she swallowed the strawberry, she felt a drop of juice rolling down her lip, and almost immediately, Katya dropped the other strawberry half and reached out.

Trixie felt like she was going to die right then and there. Katya was still looking into her eyes, as her hand slid across her lips cleaning up the droplet. The contact of her finger felt like fire against her skin, sending a million electric bolts all over Trixie's body. 

Without intending to, she let out a sigh, shocking them both. Katya's finger stopped moving, but it stayed still on her lips, softly pressing down on them. 

Trixie's breathing was starting to race, and all her rational thoughts felt like they were jumping out the window as Katya slowly parted her lips open. Her eyes were shining as bright as stars, and all her focus was on Trixie as she started to lean in.

Trixie closed her eyes as the other girl approached, her heart beating so fast it felt like it was going to escape through her chest.

Their lips were just about to touch, when Trixie heard a door close. Her parents door, to be more precise. They were awake.

Both girls immediately bolted up, jumping from the bed and getting alert. Trixie was still highly flustered from the previous moment, but she had no time to do anything about it, as the steps coming from the other room got closer.

"Hide in the closet, just shut the door and stay there." She said to Katya in a whisper, and without any words, she complied. Meanwhile, Trixie was frantically trying to clean up the mess from the makeup and the strawberries.

The strawberry half that Katya had dropped had left a little stain on her sheets, but that was the least of her worries. She was still picking things up when she heard a knock on her door.

Trixie ruffled her hair to make it look like she had been in bed, and with her heart still racing, she unlocked the door and opened it just enough so that her head peaked through.

On the other side stood her mom, with a sleepy semblant and her hair bun about to come undone. It was weird seeing her with a messy look, when she was always so dressed up.

"Oh, hey Trixie. You're still awake? it's almost two am." 

"Yeah, yeah, I... had some trouble falling asleep, but I think I'll probably sleep soon. What are you doing up?"

"I went to get some water... Why are you so red, Trix? Do you feel sick?"

"What?" Trixie said, trying to play off the fact that her cheeks were burning red. She was still very flustered from the strawberry situation, and her mom noticed. "Oh, I was trying on a new shade of blush but it's way too pigmented for me."

"Hmmm, well, if you feel bad let me know. Now try and get some rest, you have school tomorrow."

"Yes mom, good night."

"Night." Trixie closed the door, and anxiously waited until she heard her mom close her bedroom door again. She finally sighed in relief, as she opened the closet door to find Katya sitting on the corner.

"We're safe now, but you can't stay here, we risk getting caught." Trixie said, while helping Katya stand up. 

"Agreed, that was terrifying." 

"Oh, by the way... Here you go." Trixie walked up inside her closet, opening the well known drawer to pull out Katya's shirt. It had been around her clothes so much it had caught on her scent, and now it was mix between the two.

She handed it over to Katya, who smiled in return.

"I didn't even remember you had this, thanks Barbie Doll." 

"Sure. Do you want me to open up the front door for you to get out?" 

"Nah, I don't want you waking your parents up, I can climb down the tree, don't worry." She said, as she tied the shirt around her waist and prepped for going down.

"Okay then. I'll see you later, thanks for coming tonight." 

"See you later, beautiful." Katya slid the window open, and swiftly reached out to the top of the tree. She got down with a soft move, which was a relief for Trixie who was just waiting to see her fall and break a leg.

Once alone in her bedroom, she quickly got ready for bed, sliding underneath the sheets. They were still slightly warm from when they had been laying on top of them, and Trixie held them closer to her body as to take in the feeling.

She fell asleep quickly, she hadn't realised how tired she actually was between all the fun she had been having.

As she drifted off to sleep, she couldn't help but yearn for the touch of lips she hadn't yet had a chance to taste.

-  
-  
-

A week went by, and the night visits remained. They became their daily routine, at around 8 pm Trixie's parents went into their room to watch some random show, and Katya would sneak in. 

They would laugh and talk and watch silly videos, trying not to make too much noise. Katya usually had to leave for work at nights, so Trixie helped her get ready. 

She learned how to do her signature eyeshadow, and one night Katya gave her a tour of her red lipstick shades. They all looked similar to Trixie, but Katya was very passionate about them, so she played along.

Trixie's mood started to get better thanks to the hang out sessions. Brayden's presence in school stopped being such a big burden on her, and she found herself more focused on classes and more productive at training.

The tournament was still going, and they had various performances for the team's advances, which left Trixie feeling in need of a break.

Thankfully, that break wasn't far away. It was Wednesday, February thirteen, and they weren't going to have class on Friday. However, the best part was that day. It was only a day before Valentine's Day, and the energy was palpable in the air.

"Alright, so I will be bringing chocolates since I get a premium discount at the store. Remind me what you're bringing again?"

Trixie drank her juice box as she watched her friends discussing the plans for the night. Just like every year since they were eleven, they were having a Valentine's Day sleepover.

It had all started the year that Naomi had got rejected. She had a crush on a guy from their classroom, and she had asked him to be her valentine. Needless to say, he said no, which made Naomi extremely sad (because when you're eleven, getting rejected feels like the end of the world). 

So, they organised a sleepover with only their friend group, in order to lift her spirit. They bought chocolate, candy and gave eachother little gifts. 

Ever since, it became their tradition. When Kim arrived, they included her in, making her a part of the group. They did it every year, on February thirteen. That way, if any of them had a date the next day, they could still attend the meeting.

Trixie really enjoyed the annual sleepovers, it was something she could count on, and she enjoyed spending time with her friends. It felt like forever since the last time they all hung out together, and while she enjoyed spending time with Katya, she also missed her lifelong friends.

The school day went by with a very different vibe than usual. People were asking eachother out on the hallways, a bunch of girls were walking around with roses in their hands, and Trixie could almost smell all the perfume that the love letters were sprayed with.

She even got anonymous love letters herself, as well as a rose sent by Brayden. She found herself enjoying the gift, rather than obsessing over who was the person that had sent it.

A couple of hours later, school was over. Trixie rushed to her house to get changed and pack her stuff for Naomi's house. She had a quick dinner, and as the sun started to go down, she was picked up by Kim and driven to Naomi's.

The neighborhood where she lived was a little different than Trixie's. Her family was wealthy, and very well served, but Naomi's was on a whole different level.

They lived on the richest area of the city, where the houses resembled mansions and not wearing a brand item was almost considered a sin. 

Despite all the money Naomi had, she was a very humble girl. Her first childhood years hadn't been great, and they had a lot of financial struggles. That was, until her mom accepted an offer to work as the model for a local magazine, and their business set off.

Now, the Smalls took pride on the fact that they were the first POC family to ever live on that side of town. They were kind, respectful, and shared what they had with the people. 

Trixie had met Naomi on sixth grade, and they had become really good friends since. Trixie had really fond memories of that big white house, from the pool to the swinging couch to Naomi's huge bedroom.

Walking back inside the place showered her with nostalgia and excitement. As they walked inside, they were greeted by Naomi, who was already on her pajamas and with her hair tied up on a messy bun.

"Come on girls, B is already upstairs. You can get changed already." 

Both girls followed Naomi upstairs and into her bedroom. It was almost three times the size of Trixie's. A large canopy bed in the middle, soft sofas and fluffy cushions on the farther end, a large walk-in closet, a personal bathroom, and a huge TV screen, were only some of the things nicely accommodated on Naomi's pastel room.

Trixie walked into the bathroom to change her clothes, slipping onto her pink silk pajamas. She tied her hair up on a messy ponytail, and walked back outside, finding all three girls already sitting on a circle in the middle of the room.

She took a cushion and sat on top of it, closing the circle. 

"Alright ladies, welcome to the annual Valentine's Day meeting, please leave your offerings in the centre of the circle." Naomi said, doing a bad impression of a British accent. 

They all turned around and grabbed their gifts, placing them as asked. All the wrappers and bags look interesting, and Trixie wondered what they had got her. 

"Very well, we shall now... Ok nevermind, in dropping the accent. Let's just open these babies up, wanna start, Kim?" 

She nodded, and started to talk about what gift she had for who and why she had chosen it. First up on line was Trixie.

"Well, this is Trixie's gift. To be honest I wasn't really sure what to get her this year, because I couldn't find anything that had her essence. That was until a couple of days ago when I accompanied my mom to the mall, and I saw this and thought 'i need to get this for her.' So, here you go Trix, I hope you like it." 

They hugged, while the other girls watched expectantly. Trixie pulled back, opening up the small shiny gift bag in her hands.

Inside, at the bottom of the bag, was a little cardboard box. Trixie opened it up, revealing a pair of dangling earrings on the shape of little blue Tamagotchis. 

Trixie started laughing, as she showed everyone what her gift was. Everyone loved the earrings, and Trixie agreed. The design was very cute.

"Thanks Kim, I love them." 

They continued to do that for a while, each of them sharing their gifts and doing the openings. As the night went on, excitement and energy grew. At some point, they put on a Party Playsit, with the newest pop songs and remixes.

After they were done with the gifts, they decided to do face masks. Trixie put all her gifts in her bag (she ended up with a golden butterfly necklace and two new lipstick shades), and she went into the bathroom, were everyone was applying the masks.

The next few hours went by smoothly and in a fun way. After the face masks, they had done a hair braiding train, had (unsuccessfully) tried to recreate an intricate makeup look, and were now just laying around on the floor while eating chocolate.

"So, does anybody have plans tomorrow? Or this weekend, in general?" Kim said, getting everyone's attention. They were getting into the dating subject.

"I may or may not have a date with Sam." Naomi said, biting her nail. 

"Omg, as in Sam... THE Sam??? The Sam you've been crushing on for two years now?" Kim said, shockingly. Naomi let out an awkward laugh, all girls excited and waiting for her response.

"Yeah, that one." Everyone freaked out, congratulating her and teasing her around with the date. However, in the midst of the energy spike, Trixie noticed that Bob looked a little uncomfortable. She seemed to be on a different headspace, like she was somewhere else.

She tried not to pay a lot of attention to it, it was probably her imagination.

"How about you, Trixie? Any plans?" Kim said, opening up a lollipop. 

She wasn't sure what to answer. Yes, she had plans with Katya a couple of days from then, but she didn't consider it a date. They might not agree though.

"I'm going out with a friend, but I'm kind of third-wheeling" She said, as to not make it suspicious. They didn't insist or ask who she was going with, and Trixie was grateful for that.

"B? Any plans?" As soon as Naomi said that, Bob seemed to get even more uncomfortable.

"Not really, no." 

"Are you sure? Because I'd swear you told me you weren't available tomorrow because you were going out." Naomi said, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm sure, you must've heard wrong." 

"I think you're lying. I think you have a date and you won't tell us who it is." Kim said, pointing her lollipop towards the other girl in an accusing way.

"I'm seriously not guys, let's just..."

"Is it Chad? Craig? Robin? Oh no, wait, wait! Is it Lewis?" 

"Alright, stop." Bob said, getting up from her spot. Everyone fell silent, blinking in shock by the response. "I'm sorry I... I'm going to take some air. Be right back." 

She stormed out of the room, almost running. They were alone in the house (Naomi's parents were out) so she could've went anywhere.

Trixie got worried, Bob wasn't the type of person to react in such a way, and she felt like something was off.

"I'll go check on her, you guys wait here." Trixie said, leaving the room to go looking for her friend.

After a few minutes of roaming around the empty house, she found her silhouette sitting on the swinging couch. Trixie walked outside and into the garden, covering her arms from the cold.

She sat down next to Bob, who was distantly playing with a pebble while looking at the ground, softly swinging on the couch.

They stayed in silence for a couple of seconds, before she spoke.

"I'm sorry I ran off like that." Trixie turned to look at her, and what she found hurt her. It was clear something was troubling her, she looked close to tears.

"Hey, it's ok, that's fine. But I'm worried about you, we all are. I'm sorry we pushed the topic, that wasn't okay and you have every right to be mad. But I get the feeling this isn't just about us being annoying."

Bob sighed, shifting her gaze to the pool. She threw the pebble in the water, staring at the ripples the impact had made.

"You're right. It wasn't that. I mean it's related, but...." She sighed again, swinging a little harder. "I lied. I do have a date tomorrow." 

"Well, that's great B! You should be happy about that, right?"

"And I am! I've been into this person for a while now, and I finally asked them out but... I'm scared. Very, very scared." Trixie put her hand on her friends shoulder, giving it a little squeeze as a caring sign.

"Why are you scared B? You've been on dates before and everything has gone fine. You have nothing to worry about, ok? You're an amazing girl and you deserve this." 

"Thanks, but that's not why I'm scared. I'm scared because... It's a girl. I'm going on a date with a girl." Trixie opened her eyes in surprise, as her heart skipped a beat.

She stayed silent for a little, trying to process everything that was going on. Her mind was running a million miles per hour, flooding with all sorts of thoughts. She was brought back to reality when she felt Bob sliding away from her.

"I know what you probably think of me. And it's ok if you think I'm gross, or weird or sick, but please don't stop being my friend. You're the oldest and closest one I got, and I don't want to loose you." 

Trixie felt her heart break listening to these words. She had been so caught up on her own mind to think about what Bob must've seen. She saw her freezing, going blank, not saying a word.

Now, looking at her in the swing, making herself as small as possible, she realised how much she mattered to her.

As she had said, Bob was also her oldest friend. They had met since they were around four years old, and their families were basically linked together, they were almost sisters. They had grown up next to eachother, gone to the same schools and played together on countless times. They had also had their fair share of arguments, but at the end of the day, they always made up.

Trixie looked at the woman next to her, and she couldn't believe she was the same person as the little girl she had grown up with. Little B who had taught her how to paint her nails, who had helped her study for a test, who had held her on her arms as she cried because her mom had broken her guitar. 

A tear fell down Trixie's cheek, as she reached out to squeeze Bob's arm. She looked up, her eyes watery.

"I don't think any of that, B. I'm sorry you thought I did. I could never hate you, and I could never feel such horrible things about you. And I never, ever, want to stop being your friend." 

The tears she has been holding fell down her eyes, as she pulled Trixie in for a hug. They held eachother for a while, and Trixie used the moment to say the words she wasn't yet used to saying.

"I like girls too, B. In fact I don't like men at all." They pulled apart from the hug, as Bob looked at her in surprise.

"Wait... Really?" 

"Really. I swear, I'm not joking. That's why I went blank, because I was so worried about what you were going to think that I never said anything. But then you said it and... yeah." 

They stared at eachother for a little before breaking into laughter. It was an ironic scenario, and such a big coincidence that Trixie couldn't believe it.

They talked for a little longer before going back, about their experiences and how they had found out. Turns out, Bob did in fact like men, but she was starting to believe that wasn't the limit to her sexuality.

It was an open and safe conversation, that made Trixie's heart fill with joy. Both from letting go of a secret, and the knowledge that one of her closest friends was similar to her. They were the same.

The rest of the night went on great, they went back inside and explained things to Kim and Naomi. Trixie asked Bob to keep her coming out a secret for now, which she kindly agreed to, and instead Trixie focused on further helping Bob.

They spent the rest of the time watching movies, doing a sing along session of old pop songs, and telling horror stories in the dark.

As Trixie fell asleep, she felt comfortable and safe. She felt a little more like herself. She felt at home.


	9. The night that starts it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING/IMPORTANT: this chapter includes sexual content, that not everyone feels comfortable reading. however, this chapter is very important for the development of the story, so if you feel uncomfortable by this content, feel free to skip that scene and enjoy the rest of the story. thank you :) 
> 
> (author notes at the end)

Saturday came on a rush, and before she even knew it, it was Karaoke night. 

It would be a lie to say that she wasn't nervous. It wasn't because she was going to hang out with Katya, since that had become a usual part of her routine, but because she was going to meet her friends.

Katya had already met Trixie's, and it went surprisingly well, but she wasn't sure about how this specific interaction was going to turn out. 

From the moment the day had started, she had stared at her clothes, debating on what would be a good outfit. She even asked Bob for help (Since the Valentine's Day meeting she had told her about the outing with Katya), which ended up making her more confused because she suggested combinations she never even thought about.

That, mixed with the fact that she was quite literally going to break the law, made her uneasy. She was pacing around, trying to keep herself occupied with something. 

The bright side for Trixie was that her parents were gone for the weekend, so she had the house all to herself.

They had both been invited to a fancy getaway in Rome with some of their higher ups, and they agreed to going because her mom was seeking a promotion. 

Although it was somewhat like a small vacation, it also had a professional undertone, hence why they didn't even ask her if she wanted to go. Which was ok, because she would've said no anyways.

So, at least she had that going for her. They were going to come back Sunday evening, and although it was a little hard to convince her mom, they had agreed to letting her take care of herself.

As she sat down on the kitchen table to eat her lunch, she felt oddly free. She was alone, with no one to supervise her, and she was going out to a club- that she wasn't allowed into- to have fun with her friend.

If someone had told her six months ago that she'd be doing that, she would've laughed and said it was impossible. But now, it was hard to think about going back to the stuck up life she was so used to having.

She was more than ready to go out for the night, leaving the house that sometimes felt like a prison.

At around seven pm, Katya called to let her know that she was going to drive them on her bike, and she'd pick her up at around nine. 

Trixie immediately started getting ready. She had showered earlier, as well as straightened her hair, who shined with a golden glow. She debated on what to wear for a little bit longer, before settling for a thight satin pink dress. It showed her shoulders and marked her curves, which gave her a lot of confidence. 

She had originally bought the dress for one of her friend's birthday parties, but her dad had forbidden her to wear it. It was her first time wearing it out, and she loved it.

She added a headband of a matching material to her hair, pushing it back a little, framing her face.

She also did her makeup a little heavier than usual, adding a thick line of black liner and adding a touch of pink to her eyeshadow. 

Finally, it was time. She looked at herself in the mirror, the girl from the reflection seeming almost foreign to her. She didn't normally wear such 'sexy' stuff, and while it was a new feeling, she didn't dislike it one bit.

She finished off the look with the butterfly necklace she had been gifted, and sprayed some perfume all over her body before going outside.

On the sidewalk, Katya waited, standing while leaning back into the bike. Trixie looked at her, trying not to stare too much, but it was hard.

She was wearing a simple black spaghetti strap top, underneath a mesh long sleeved shirt. Her hips were covered by a high waisted plaid skirt, her legs wearing thighs just above the knee, as well as high heeled black boots. As usual, her lips were a deep red, and her hair was loose, showing off her natural waves. 

As Trixie approached the vehicle, she could tell Katya was looking at her too. She was also trying to hide it, be slick about it, but she could distantly feel her eyes looking up and down at her body. Oddly, it gave her even more confidence.

"Hey, you look nice." She said to Katya, trying not to blush. The girl shifted her weight, clearly trying to keep her eyes away from the part of cleavage that showed through Trixie's dress. 

"I say this a lot but you look like the real life version of a Barbie Doll, I swear. But I like it, it suits you well." Trixie smiled at Katya, as she hopped on the back of the bike and held on to her waist.

She was used to riding on motorcycles thanks to the time where Katya drove her home everyday. She missed the feeling, the air flowing through her hair, the warmth of Katya's body against hers, and the feeling of freedom that came with the speed.

She had been feeling so free lately.

After a while, they arrived to their destination. It was located on the busiest part of town, where nightlife was starting to come to life. Loud bass and music came from many different places, and lines for establishments were starting to fill up.

They hopped down from the bike, and Trixie fixed her hair and clothes a little bit while Katya made sure to put the helmets away and properly turn it off.

They walked inside, and after showing what Trixie assumed was an entrance pass, they let them in. They walked up to a booth, where three people were already laughing and talking amongst eachother.

This weirded Trixie out. She was only expecting to meet one of Katya's friends, since she told them they needed three people. Katya seemed to read her mind, because she leaned in to reassure her.

"I know what you're thinking, but they basically invited themselves after I invited you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before." 

"It's ok." Trixie said with a smile, although internally she was freaking out.

They walked inside the booth, closing the door so that the sound was isolated. As they walked in, everyone went silent, looking at them. At her, to be more specific.

"Hey girls, this is Trixie. Trixie, these are Willam, Violet and Lady. We work together." 

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." She said, standing on the corner trying not to move. 

"Hi girl, nice to meet you too. Now I don't know what Katya told you about us, but come on over, we don't bite. You're safe here, girl." Lady said, while signaling her to sit down on the couch next to her. 

Trixie agreed and went to sit, the pressure starting to leave her body. They did seem pretty nice.

Meanwhile, Katya grabbed them both a drink. They had both agreed earlier that they weren't going to get drunk because Katya still had to drive back home, so they set a three drink limit. Trixie was okay with this, she wasn't a fan of getting drunk anyways.

Katya sat down next to her on the couch, and they all spent about an hour talking and getting to know Trixie better. She found herself letting loose, and having fun.

She was a bit intimidated at first, because it wasn't the type of people she was used to hanging out with. They were older than her, more outspoken, has no inhibitions and were clearly the rebellious kind. 

However, that didn't make them bad people. They were nice, and funny and helped Trixie feel comfortable among them. Besides, they weren't that older. The eldest one was Willam, being 26 years old, but from then it was little lower, Violet being 21 and Lady being 24.

After a while of talking and getting to break the ice, it was time for karaoke. That's what the boot was for, after all. 

Violet started off the session, singing an early 2000's pop song that she didn't really know the lyrics of. Everyone cheered and laughed, and the energy started to rise. 

They all took their turns on the machine, singing a wide variety of songs. When it was Katya's turn, Trixie was trying not to laugh. She was singing full volume, but it was very clear that she wasn't a singer.

Katya knew that, and to make her performance more entertaining, she started to switch the lyrics, making them up as the song went on.

Everyone was laughing with her crazy inventions, and once she was done everyone cheered. Then, it was Trixie's turn.

"Come on Trix, what song will you sing for us for today?" Asked Willam, entertained and expecting.

Trixie stood in front of the screen, not really sure what to search for. Suddenly, all the songs she had ever listened to slipped her mind, and she couldn't think of a single one she could sing.

"How about... 'Stay with me' by Sam Smith?. Do you know that one?" Violet asked, in an attempt to help Trixie out.

"Yeah, sure." She searched up the song, and started singing.

At first, she was a little shy. She had just met most of these people, so singing in front of them made her feel a little exposed.

However, after a few lines, the words started to flow. She let it all out on the high notes, giving feeling to the song. She kept her eyes on the screen, for she didn't know the words by heart, but that didn't stop her from giving it her all.

When the song ended, it was quiet. Trixie turned around slowly, expecting dread, boredom or second hand embarrasment. Instead, she found four shocked faces looking back.

"Are you kidding me girl? That was amazing! Are you a singer?" Lady said, making everyone go into praise. Trixie blushed, a little taken back from all the kind words. She was most certainly not expecting that reaction.

After that, they asked her to sing another song, and when it was her turn on the next rounds, everyone was excitedly waiting for what she was going to pick.

The night went on with a high energy and loud laughing. Both Trixie and Katya had kept their promise to keep their alcohol income low, but the other three girls were already a little drunk by the end.

Towards the end of the night, everyone was just playing nonsense. At some point, they had started to attempt singing songs on foreign languages that they had no idea how to speak. Trixie had tried to sing a random German pop song, and the attempt was so bad that everyone burst into laughter.

Katya was also having a great time, and Trixie throughly enjoyed watching her sing a duet with Willam to the song 'Fergalicious'. Turns out, Katya knew all the words, because she didn't even have to follow the ones on the screen.

Trixie made a mental note to use that for blackmail later on.

After a few more shenanigans, the clock turned to two am. Trixie was starting to feel a little tired, and her makeup was in desperate need of either a touch up, or a straight up removal.

Thankfully, Katya signaled to her a sign asking if she wanted to leave. Trixie nodded enthusiastically, to which Katya winked in response.

They both got up from their seat, telling them they were leaving. Nobody wanted them to go, but Trixie could tell Katya was getting tired as well. 

They managed to convince the girls to let them go- they were staying for a while more- and after saying their goodbyes, they were on Katya's bike riding back home.

As they passed by the city, Trixie felt something she couldn't quite explain. Looking at those buildings, lights and streets, she realised how much, and yet how little, her home had changed. 

She had lived in the same place her entire life, and yet it never fully felt like it belonged to her. It felt familiar, yes, but it also felt foreign. She had never taken the time to actually go outside and explore, to see what the city had to offer.

In fact, there was a lot she had been missing. There were so many things on her life she had held back from doing, whether it was because of fear or because it was forbidden to her by her parents. 

But now, she was seventeen. She was more aware of everything she had passed on, of everything she wanted to do but didn't. 

A feeling similar to fear started to rise on her chest when she realised she didn't really care about holding back anymore. Tonight had been proof. She had done something she never would've thought of doing, let alone something her parents would've allowed her to do, and she had had a great time. 

Just now, she was riding a motorcycle, holding tight to the waist of a girl her parents disliked. And it felt amazing. 

These thoughts continued to creep around her head, the feeling of wanting to break free growing stronger by the second.

About thirty minutes later, they were home. Katya stopped in front of Trixie's house, ready to drop her off. However, before she even stepped down of the bike, just looking at the house gave her dread.

It felt like a prison, like something that kept her under control, held her back. She was getting tired of that.

"Actually, can I sleep over at yours? If you don't mind, of course. It's just... I don't want to go home just yet. And I'm curious to see more of your house." She said, hoping for the best.

Thankfully, Katya agreed.

"Sure, I'd love that! You can borrow makeup remover and a hair brush and... well, whatever you need." She answered, already driving further down the street. 

Almost immediately, they arrived at Katya's. She parked the bike on the side, chaining it down to a tube that was stuck to the wall. She covered it up with a piece of sailcloth she had, in order to protect it from the elements.

Trixie followed closely, as Katya pulled out her keys and opened up the entrance door.

Walking inside, she felt the memories of the first time they had met coming back. The living room décor was pretty much the same, although there weren't any cardboard boxes anymore.

It had a little bit more of Katya's style, with some weird ceramic decorations on the shelves, a poster of a blonde woman with something in russian written on it, a couch cushion that was black and had a pentagram drawn on it, and an old ashtray sitting on the coffee table.

"Well, this room gives me flashbacks." She said, trying not to walk around too much as Katya tidied up a little. She giggled in response of her comment, walking back towards her.

"Yeah, that was a rough day for you." 

"Don't even mention it." 

"Ok well, come on, I'll show you my room." Katya said, already going upstairs. Trixie followed behind her, letting her take the lead. It wasn't really necessary, since the space distribution was the same as her house, but she felt like it was polite.

Once upstairs, Katya went into her room. Trixie was a little shocked to find out she had taken the master bedroom. She wasn't as familiar with the space on this area, because on her house that's where her parents room was.

She walked in, looking around in awe, the only light being that of the hallway. Katya reached out to turn the light on... but it didn't. She tried again, and again and again, but the bulb wasn't cooperating.

"Damn it, I think it's broken. Perfect timing lights, thanks a lot, you're making me look silly in front of my guest." Katya said to the ceiling, as if the broken lights could hear her. 

Trixie giggled, entertained by the situation.

"I mean, if you don't mind I could just turn on the TV screen and turn the volume down so we have some light. Or we could go to the other room, but I need to clean first because it's filled with boxes, and..." 

"Kat. Don't worry, it's fine." Trixie said, smiling to reassure her. She smiled back, walking inside and turning the large TV screen on. It was some random show about house building, and she turned off the volume so that it only served as light.

Thankfully, the TV was big enough that it lit the room enough for them to see, but also keeping it low enough that it was cozy.

Trixie looked around, taking the space in. This place was the same as the living room. It was mostly the original decorations, with touches of Katya every here and there.

On the farther corner was a large desk, with nothing on top of it. It appeared to be new, since they were little boxes underneath it. It was probably what Katya was planning on putting on top, but clearly she hadn't gone around to doing it yet.

"Hey so, I have makeup remover and wipes in the bathroom if you want to take it off." Katya said.

"Thanks, I do, actually." Trixie did as told, and walked inside the room's attached bathroom to wipe it all off. It felt refreshing to have her bare face again, without worrying about how bad it looked because of makeup.

When she went back outside, she realised Katya had taken her makeup off too, with some wipes she had taken out of the bathroom prior her entrance.

"Do you mind if I take my shoes off? They're very uncomfortable." 

"Sure, feel at home, get comfy." 

Trixie took the painful heels off, as well as the hair band she had been wearing. She left her things on the drawer that was under the TV screen, massaging her scalp to relieve some pressure.

The dress was still a little uncomfortable, but it was more manageable now. Katya also got rid of some stuff, taking her boots and thights off, as well as the mesh shirt. She was left with the tank top and the skirt, which did look more comfortable than before.

Trixie sat down on the floor, her back towards the edge of the bed. She hugged her legs towards her body, as Katya sat down next to her, her legs crossed.

Trixie sighed, resting her head on the bed, momentarily closing her eyes. She was tired of the social interaction, but now she realised she still had energy left. She didn't want to sleep.

"Hey, I mentioned it back there, but you really have a beautiful voice, Barbie doll." 

Trixie opened up her eyes, finding Katya looking fondly at her. 

"Did you ever had singing lessons? Or is that just something you can do?" She asked, trying to spike conversation. Trixie appreciated that.

"I did, actually. Singing and guitar lessons." 

"Wait... really? I didn't know that, you never told me." 

"Yeah I... I don't like talking about it too much." Trixie said, lowering her gaze to play with her fingers. 

"Oh, I'm sorry for bringing it up then." 

"No, it's fine." She looked at her hands a little longer, the words stuck on her throat. "Actually, maybe I do need to talk about it."

"I'm all ears." Katya said, putting all her focus on Trixie.

"I always liked music. Ever since I was a kid, music was something that kept me going, that brought me joy. So, a few years back I begged my parents to let me take lessons.They were reclutant at first, but finally agreed. They bought me this beautiful white dove guitar, and for about a year that was the best part of my life. I even wrote my own songs."

Katya had a sad smile on her face, knowing that things weren't going to stay great. Trixie took a deep breath and continued.

"But suddenly, I was co-captain of the cheerleading team. And that brought a new responsibility, not only with the team, but with my grades. I had to keep a high level to say in that position, and the lessons were interfering with my study time. That, and the fact that I was becoming a little more free. Having my music helped me express myself, and I was starting to let go of the pressure my parents put on me. Needless to say, they didn't like that." 

Trixie took a small break, the memories from that time in her life coming back, showering her with both nostalgia and resentment.

"So, they took me out of the lessons, and forbidden me to play. My mom told me to get rid of my guitar, but I didn't want to do that, so I hid it in my closet and told her I had given it away as a gift. It was my secret, and everytime they left the house, I would take it out and play. That went on for almost another year, until one day my mom went into my closet looking for a sweater, and she found it. She went blind with anger, not only because I was still playing, but because I had lied about giving it away. She called me into my room, and just as I walked through the door, she smashed it in the floor and then threw it out the window, completely destroying it." 

Katya's face had a worried frown, and she put her hand above Trixie's wrist, squeezing a little. 

"I've never played or sung since. Until tonight, I guess. And I don't know, it made me feel free again. It reminded me how much I like doing it." 

She looked up at Katya, who was looking at her with a sign of empathy. She started to reach out her hand, but regretted it and put in the floor between them instead.

"Shit, Trix that's horrible. They had no right doing that, I'm sorry."

"It's ok, it's all in the past now. But... Nevermind."

"But what?" 

"I just... Tonight I felt free. I felt like myself. I've found that whenever I'm with you I feel like I can do anything." 

Katya's cheeks turned a little darker with blush, and her previous frown turned into a soft smile. 

"Is that a bad thing?" She answered, lowering her voice. There was no one around but them, but talking in a lower voice helped the conversation feel more intimate.

"No. But it's scary in a way, because I'm not used to feeling that. There's so many things I've always wanted to do but haven't."

"Like what?" 

"Well... I've always wanted to drastically change my hair. I've never dyed it and it's always been below my shoulders."

"Alright, what else?" Katya said, turning her body so that it was facing Trixie.

"I want to perform. I want to get on a stage and sing a song for a bunch of people." 

"Go on."

"I want to just go outside and act a fool and not worry about what anybody thinks." Trixie felt energy coursing through her veins, every statement adding up to it. She felt like a ticking bomb, waiting to explode. "I want to go up to Brayden and slap him across as the face, while yelling 'I'm gay and I don't want to be with you'." 

They both broke into laughter, Trixie feeling all giddy because of the energy. Katya caught on to it, laughing alongside with her. 

"I want to kiss you so bad." Trixie immediately covered her mouth, regretting those words. Katya fell silent as well, looking at her in shock. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You're probably dating someone, and we're friends, and..." 

"Trixie." Katya said, shushing her up. Her heart was beating fast. "I'm not dating anyone. And I... I want to kiss you too." 

Trixie felt blush rising to her cheeks, her heart beating even faster. She could hear the drumming in her ears, and she hoped Katya couldn't.

In front of her, Katya debated on whether reaching out her hand or not, and eventually decided to place it on Trixie's cheek, putting a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

Her eyes were bright, shining under the dim light of the TV on top of them.

"I know that you struggle with this a lot, so you don't have to do it. I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do." Katya said, almost as a whisper.

Trixie felt as if a door was being open in front of her, as if the gates of the prison she had lived in were finally opening up. And she had the chance to walk through them, to escape. She had been holding back for so long, afraid to leave her prison because that was all that she knew. But the outside world was calling for her, it felt like a scream. 

That freedom was right there, in front of her, looking at her with two blue-green eyes and parted lips and a beautiful face. And Trixie was tired of being trapped.

"My whole life has been about other people having control over me, about what they've decided I can or can't do and be." She whispered, leaning in closer towards Katya. Her heart was pounding, the words on the back of her throat. She was scared, because she knew once she crossed the line, she could never go back. She took a deep breath, feeling the pressure leaving her body. "Well, fuck that control." 

She leaned in closer, finally pressing their lips together. Katya sighed against her lips, her warm hand cupping Trixie's face.

Katya's lips were warm and soft, and the kiss was so gentle and sweet that Trixie felt like she was in heaven. She reached out her hands to put them behind Katya's neck, tangling them with the begging of her hair. 

They parted from eachother, Katya looking deep into her eyes. Her cheeks were red, and Trixie knew hers were too. They stared at eachother for a little, before giggling.

"I've been wanting to do that for so long." Katya said in a whisper, her forehead against Trixie's. 

"Don't stop then." 

Katya pressed their lips together again, but this time with renewed passion. Trixie continued to hold on to her, as the kiss began to escalate. Katya parted her lips with her tongue, nibbling on her lower lip. Trixie repressed a moan as she pulled Katya closer by her neck. 

She gave her lips a couple of pecks, before switching to her neck. She stared kissing and sucking on it, which made Trixie gasp in surprise. No one had ever kissed her neck before, and she wasn't expecting to like it that much. 

Every nibble and kiss sent a million electric signals all throughout her body, from her face to her chest to between her legs. Her breath was starting to get faster, desire rising in her like a flame. 

Katya came back to her lips, kissing her again. Trixie melted into the kiss, holding on to Katya's hair once again. Meanwhile, one of her hands started to gently rub on Trixie's leg, slowly making its way up to where her dress ended. 

Her skin was hot there, and Katya's cold hand made a contrast with it. Trixie was expecting her to lift up her dress, but instead, she stopped the kiss.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to do this just because you feel like you owe me something because you don't. If you want to stop now, we can." 

She cupped Katya's face with her hands, looking deeply into her worried eyes. 

"I want this. Not because I feel obligated, but because I want it. You can go on." Katya nodded, kissing her again as she began to wander her hand above her leg.

She was above the fabric of the dress, but Trixie still felt her heart racing with every inch she moved. Eventually, she reached the back, and began to slowly unzip the dress.

"Let me get up to take it off." Trixie whispered into her lips. Katya leaned back, also getting up, while Trixie let the loose dress fall. She was wearing only her underwear now, a white strapless bra with pink laced panties, which made her feel a little exposed since Katya still had more clothes on. "Take something off too, at least." 

Katya complied, letting the skirt loose. She was wearing blue briefs, which accentuated her skin. Once she was done with that, she finally looked back at Trixie.

Her eyes went up and down, looking at her body. She felt flustered by the intensity of her gaze, but it didn't make her uncomfortable. 

Katya got close to her again, whispering in her ear. "You're beautiful." Before kissing her again. 

They were kissing with energy and passion, and Trixie found herself walking backwards because of the strength. A few steps back, her waist hit something. They had walked all the way to the desk. 

With a swift move, Katya lifted her up, making her sit on it with her back to the wall. Trixie realised that had been Katya's intention, and to play along she wrapped her legs around Katya's waist.

Once again, Katya's attention shifted towards her neck. Trixie leaned her head to the side in order to give her more space. The kisses started to go lower, towards her collarbones and the bit of cleavage that showed through the bra. 

Trixie's body was getting hot, every kiss like a little flame that helped light it up. She felt Katya's hand sliding through her back, finding the strap of her bra.

She lifted her head up, looking at Trixie asking for her consent. She nodded, to which Katya winked. She unclipped the strap easily, her bra falling to the ground, leaving her top half naked.

The new exposure made Trixie shiver, feeling even more exposed now. Katya lowered her eyes to her breasts, her pupils dilating with the view. 

She kissed Trixie one more time, while she reached out her hand to start massaging one of them. Trixie sighed with the action, trying as hard as she could to not make other sounds. 

Katya's hand couldn't cover it entirely, so she focused on one side, while her thumb began making small circles on top of her nipple.

She lowered her face again, making a trail of kisses from her neck to her other breast. Trixie's breathing was getting faster, and she raised her hand to cover her mouth while Katya kissed and licked her left breast.

Not long had passed when she stopped, raising her face to kiss Trixie's cheek. She gently took her hand away from her mouth, leaning to whisper into her ear. 

Her voice was hoarse when she spoke, and her breath was warm. "Don't shush down, you can make all the noise you want, princess." 

Trixie bit her lip, the sentence and action sending even more electric waves down her body. Katya switched actions, taking her hand to her left breast and her mouth to the right. 

This time, Trixie didn't hold back the little moans coming from her troath.

After a while, she pulled Katya back up by her hair, kissing her passionately again. She let her hands wander through her body, and she was shocked to find out she wasn't wearing a bra underneath her top. 

"Can I?" She whispered against the kiss, to which Katya nodded. She lifted up the top, throwing it across the room. In front of her, Katya stood half naked, and she didn't feel as exposed anymore.

Katya's breasts were considerably smaller than hers, but she didn't mind one bit. She stared to nibble Katya's ear, as she let her hands repeat what Katya had been doing on her, but this time on her body. 

She held on to Trixie by her hips, as she let out small moans next to her neck. 

Trixie started to gently bite the part of the neck below her ear, and she thought it'd probably leave a mark, but since Katya seemed to enjoy it so much, she didn't stop.

While she did that, Katya's hand lowered to the inside of her thighs, gently parting them apart enough for her hand to fit. 

A million electric signals bolted through Trixie's body as Katya made her way to her pelvis. 

This time, Trixie got ahead. 

"You don't have to ask anything, just please do it already." She said against Katya's ear, making her giggle.

"Needy much, princess?" 

Katya slid her hand inside her underwear, gently caressing the warmest spot on Trixie's body. She was overly aware of how wet she already was, but Katya didn't seem to mind. 

She started to gently rub her clit, while she started to leave gentle kisses throughout her hairline and neck. Trixie put her hands around her neck, pulling her close. 

Katya's hand began to go a little faster, and after a little while of doing that, she slid one of her fingers inside. Trixie moaned with the action, and in a moment of boldness, she placed her mouth against Katya's ear, so that she was moaning directly into it.

"Fuck, princess." Katya said between her fast breath, as she continued working between her legs. Eventually she slid another finger in, and it didn't take long for Trixie to approach the edge.

Katya started going faster, and when Trixie hit climax it was like fireworks in her head. She melted into Katya's body, holding on tightly to her as she twitched and recovered from the experience. Katya lifted her face to kiss her softly, and Trixie felt like her heart was going to explode with happiness.

"I wish I could do something for you, but I've never been with a girl so I don't really know what to do." She told Katya, looking into her eyes in an apologizing way. She felt kinda bad that she didn't know how to give her pleasure, she didn't want to leave her like that.

Katya smiled, taking her hand and kissing on the inside of her wrist. 

"Don't worry about it, let me take the lead for now, okay? What you're doing is enough to make me feel good." Trixie smiled too, and rested her head on Katya's shoulder.

They decided the desk was getting uncomfortable, and after ditching the rest of underwear, they switched to the bed. 

The rest of the night went on like that, and Trixie enjoyed every second of it. Both girls had a lot of bottled up energy, as well as frustration and negative feelings that they channeled into stamina.

Trixie reached cloud nine in many different occasions, and she couldn't help but melt whenever Katya called her 'Princess'.

Eventually, both girls went tired, and they flopped down on the bed, trying to calm their breathing.

Trixie leaned against Katya, resting her head on her shoulder as she stroked her hair. They didn't say anything, but there was no need. They had shown eachother enough.

Almost immediately, they both fell asleep into eachother's arms, and although Trixie wasn't at her house, she felt at home.

-  
-  
-

Trixie woke up the next morning feeling groggy. Her mouth was dry from the lack of hydration, and the sheets stuck to her naked body.

Besides the bed was a small drawer, and on top of it was a pile of folded clean clothes. On top of it was a post it that read: 

'Here's some comfy clothes that you can change into, they're my pajamas :)  
\- Katya, XO' 

Trixie smiled at the note, and got up to change. It was an oversized t-shirt with a band logo on it and some loose shorts, but Katya was right, they were very comfortable. 

Trixie went into the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror in the process. She looked like a mess, her hair ruffled up and tangled, and her lips still swollen from the night before. 

After washing her hands, she sat on the edge of the bed. She looked around the room, the memories hitting her like a train, making blush rise to her cheeks. 

She had done it, she had actually done it. 

She had chosen herself above her parents, above society and above anybody else. For the first time in her life, she was the priority. 

One small portion of her mind was telling her that she should feel guilty, that she had just screwed up her life and there was no turning back. And while it was right about the no turning back part, she didn't feel an ounce of guilt. 

Instead, she felt relieved. Like a pressure had finally been lifted from her shoulders, like for the first time she could actually breathe. 

She found herself smiling, her heart filled with joy. There was no point in denying it anymore, she liked Katya. She liked her way more than as a friend. 

She was nowhere to be found in the bedroom, so Trixie assumed she was downstairs. She took a deep breath, and walked up to the door, prepping herself up to face her.

That night, her life had changed. That night, she decided that no one was going to have control over her life but herself. 

That was the night that started it all.

She opened the door, and stepped outside, feeling like a new person.

Once downstairs, she heard sounds coming from the kitchen. She walked up to it silently, finding Katya with her back towards the door, waiting for a tea kettle to be ready.

She also had loose pajamas on, and her hair was tied up on a messy bun on top of her head. Trixie shyly noticed a bruise on top of her neck, from where she had bitten last night.

Katya noticed her presence, and she turned back smiling. 

"Hey." 

"Hey."

"Tea's almost ready, there's some muffins on the table." 

Trixie sat down on one side of the table, and not long after Katya placed the two cups of tea on it. They both stayed in silence as they added the sugar and stirred.

"So, about last night..." Katya started, staring at her tea. "Do you have any regrets?" 

"No, not at all." She answered immediately, and it was the truth. Katya sighed in relief. "Do you?" 

"Neither. That being said..." Katya put her cup on the table, sitting straight. Trixie knew she was getting serious, which made her nervous about what she was going to say.

"I like you, Trix. I like you a lot." She said, to Trixie's surprise. "And don't get me wrong, last night was amazing, but... I don't want us to be just that."

Trixie took a sip of her tea, trying to calm her nerves as Katya took a deep breath and raised her gaze.

"I want to actually, if you'd let me, give this a chance. I want to take you on dates, and get to know you better, and give you gifts and... well, you get the point. But for that I feel like we need to take a few steps back, I want to take our time to build something." 

Trixie blushed, and then automatically smiled. She reached out and put her hand above Katya's from across the table.

"Of course I'm up for that, I get what you mean. And yes, I agree. Last night was fun but... maybe we got a little bit ahead of ourselves." 

Katya smiled back, and they both broke into awakward laughter, relieving the tension that was in the air. 

"Alright so... maybe we could go out next week? As a date?" 

"I'd love that." They had breakfast together, eating the muffins and tea, while talking to eachother.

It was a nice conversation, and at some point Katya teased her for leaving a mark on her neck. Trixie blushed a lot because of it, but they were able to laugh it off in the end. 

After breakfast, Trixie put on her own clothes again and headed back home. Her parents were going to arrive in a few hours, and she took the free time to shower and do some schoolwork. 

As she dried up her hair and changed into fresh clothes, she felt herself smiling. She was happy, really really happy to finally let go and let herself enjoy things.

She was a little nervous about how her life was going to be from now on, but she wasn't afraid anymore. She was ready to take on the challenges, and she was planning on doing it with Katya by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so... hi :) 
> 
> I know what you're thinking, and yes, it took me a month to write the last chapter and only two days to write this one okay? don't come for me. 
> 
> seriously though, it was harder than it seems. I had never written something nsfw, so it was a little awkward for me. 
> 
> also, at the end of the day this story is for you guys, so I wanted to know your thoughts on the speed :)  
> sometimes I feel like I'm going too fast, but I also don't want it to be too slow. how do you guys feel it? am I at right speed, or do you think I need to speed/slow things up? 
> 
> as mentioned before, this was an impulsive moment, and our girls decided to take things a little slower, so this isn't the way their relationship is staying, haha.
> 
> anyway, I've talked for too long. I hope you enjoyed this chapter ! I'll see you for the next update 💕 
> 
> -xo


	10. Under the stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone, notes will be at the and of chapter this time, but please DON'T skip them, I have some important notices to make :) 
> 
> see you in a while, for now;  
> be gay, do crime and enjoy! 💓

The sun was just starting to come down when Trixie's parents arrived. They were tired and a little stressed out, but at the same time they seemed to be in a good mood. 

As soon as they arrived, they ordered food, and while they unpacked and changed into more comfortable clothing, Trixie prepped the table. 

She was trying not to show her good mood as much, but it was hard to help the smile on her face. The memory of Katya was still fresh in her mind. Her voice, her lips, her body against hers. The way her strong hands held her, the way her voice got hoarse. How she looked at her.

She was trying to conceal all those feelings, but deep down she wanted to dance and twirl and sing like if she were on a Disney movie. She wanted to open up the windows and let everyone know she was overflowing with joy.

By the time the food arrived, her parents weren't ready yet. She didn't want to wait downstairs, so she went back up into her bedroom to check if her phone had finished charging. 

Her smile only grew wider when she saw the notification of a text.
    
    
      **Kat💫**
    
    
    
    hi beautiful, I miss you already.
    
    shit, is that going too fast? we said we wouldn't go too fast. ok nevermind, pretend I didn't say that.
    
    how are you? are your parents home yet?
    
    
    6:03 pm

Trixie giggled at her screen, biting her lip from the fun as she typed her reply.
    
    
      **Barbie Doll**
    
    
    
    I'm doing really good :) and yeah, they arrived a while ago. 
    
    btw don't worry about that, a text won't hurt. I miss you too -xo
    
    
    6:04 pm

Katya almost immediately replied, sending her a sticker of a blushing cat. Trixie laughed at it, as she heard her dad calling her from the dining room.

She locked her phone and went downstairs for dinner. The first few minutes were silent, everyone too focused on the food.

"So, how was it guys?" Trixie asked, after taking a sip of her wine. "Did you have fun?" 

"Oh, it was lovely." Her mom answered excitedly. "We visited a lot of nice places, and the hotel was beautiful." 

"And the food was delicious." Added her father.

"What about you Trixie? What did you do this weekend?" 

She tried not to choke on her food. The question brought back the memory of Katya, and the night they had spent together. She put all her efforts on trying to divert her mind as to not blush.

"I took it easy, I did some schoolwork and binge watched a show on Netflix. It was fine." She said, diverting her face. She wanted the topic to change.

"Very well, you can't put down your studies. Oh! I almost forgot. We're having dinner with the Wilsons this Friday." Trixie bit the inside of her cheek. The Wilsons were Brayden's family, and having dinner with them wasn't something she was particularly excited about. Specially because of him.

She couldn't turn it down though, so she just nodded. 

The rest of dinner went by like every other night, and after doing the dishes and her sleep routine, she slipped underneath her covers. 

She went through her social media before sleeping, and she felt her heart skip a beat when she came across a tweet from Katya. She had a slight smile on her face as she read it.

'she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen, no exaggeration. god, I love women.' The tweet read.

Trixie blushed a little, and after locking up her phone she went to sleep, with a happy heart and a smile on her face.

-  
-  
-

Next couple of days were rough for Trixie. She was trying, really trying, to not think of Katya, but it was hard after the moment they had shared.

She was aware that they had moved too fast, and that they needed to take a couple of steps back if they wanted things to work out, but she couldn't help it.

She found herself drifting away in class, thinking of Katya's soft lips kissing her neck, her warm breath when she kissed her, the way she called out for her when... 

"Trixie? Are you listening?" 

She came down from her fantasy, looking around to connect back with reality. Her face was blushed, and she was visibly flustered. She hoped nobody would comment on that.

Next to her, Nicky was expecting an answer.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I drifted off for a minute, what were you saying?" 

"I was asking if you have yesterday's notes, there's a concept I don't understand very well." 

"Oh, sure, here you go." Trixie said, handing Nicky her notebook. She smiled and thanked her, and Trixie sighed of relief over the fact that she didn't mention her red cheeks.

This wasn't the last time it happened. She slipped into her daydreams while walking down the hallway (causing her to bump against walls and furniture), while she ate her lunch, while she ran the track for P.E., to mention a few.

She was a little scared her mind was going too fast, that she should slow her thoughts down. But Katya was intoxicating, and after having a taste, she had the feeling that wasn't going to be enough.

She was probably wrong in wishing so, but she couldn't wait for the next time they had another chance like that. She couldn't wait to see her again in general.

Thankfully, she didn't have to wait long.

It was Thursday night, and Trixie was walking down towards her kitchen to get a quick snack. Her mom, however, had different plans.

"Hey Trixie, can you do me a favour? Can you drop this off at Mrs. Meyers house, please? You can use the time to take a little walk." 

Trixie sighed as she put down the box of cookies she had just grabbed. Mrs. Meyers was an old lady that her mom somewhat got along with. Every now and then they sent her groceries or baked goods. She was a lonely woman, she had been living alone since the death of her husband, and they were her only friends. 

"Mom, it's super cold outside. Can't I take it to her tomorrow?" 

"I promised I'd send her this book tonight, her TV broke and this her only entertainment. Come on now, it'll be good for you. Take some fresh air, stretch your legs." 

"Fine, let me just get a sweater real quick."

Trixie put on the warm piece of clothing, grabbed the book her mom was referring to, and walked out the door. To her bad luck, Mrs. Meyers' house was on the opposite end of the division. 

So, she had to walk quite a long distance.

She eventually reached the woman's house, and after a quick thank you and a pinching of her cheeks, she was free to go. The weather was cold, and Trixie was holding her sweater close to her body, as to keep it warm. However, she slowed her pace down, it was oddly relaxing to walk and breathe some fresh air.

Her parents had been spending a lot of time at home, and she needed some time away from them. As she walked down the quiet streets of her home, she felt a tapping in her shoulder that made her startled.

She was about to turn to see who it had been, but she didn't have to, for the figure appeared in front of her. 

It was Katya, in sport gear, her hair up on a ponytail and sweat dripping down her forehead. Trixie's heart skipped a beat while she tried not to stare at Katya's body, which was defined by the elastic wear.

She had a big smile on her face, and she took one of her Bluetooth headphones off as she trotted backwards, so that she was facing Trixie.

"What brings you out at night, Barbie Doll? A mysterious secret, perhaps?" Katya teased, as she analysed Trixie.

"You wish. My mom asked me to deliver a book to a neighbor that just so happens to live in the farthest house possible." Katya laughed at her comment, showing off her shiny white teeth. "But enough about me, what on earth are you doing? Going for a run on this weather doesn't sound like the smartest idea to me." 

"Well, the sun isn't scorching hot, and I needed some energy before going off to work. And I don't know, it's fun. I'm actually tired now though, I'm just still trotting to impress you. Is it working?" She asked, and Trixie giggled as she noticed how tired she actually looked. 

"It is, you can stop now." 

"Great." Katya stopped her quick steps, and instead positioned herself next to Trixie, walking at her slower speed. 

They walked next to eachother for a while, glancing at one another every now and then. 

Trixie was trying not to blush, they hadn't seen eachother ever since their night together, and she was trying not to think about it too much. However, it was difficult when Katya looked all flushed and sweaty from her work, and her leggings and top hugged her body like that.

She then felt silly on her old sweatpants and oversized sweater. 

"So... Are you doing anything this Saturday?" Katya started, distantly playing with the headphone she held on her hand. "There's a new sushi restaurant downtown, and I was thinking maybe we could go there. You know, for the date." 

Trixie blushed even more, but she also smiled to herself when she noticed how nervous Katya was. It was funny seeing her like that, when she usually was so confident and teasing. Trixie felt flattered to know that she made her feel that way.

"I'm free that day, I'd love to go there. I like sushi." 

Katya looked up and smiled at her, her blue-green eyes glowing under the soft moonlight.

"Can I be honest with you for a second? Because I feel like keeping this to myself is killing me." Katya said, a new expression across her face.

"Go ahead." 

"I can't stop thinking about that night. I know we rushed things, and it was impulsive, but I can't shake it off my mind. I'll be doing my everyday activities and find myself getting distracted with the memory. I just thought you should know." 

Trixie blushed, playing around with a strand of her hair.

"I've been having the same experience." Katya opened up her eyes in surprise, looking at her. She wasn't expecting that answer, it was clear she believed it was one sided. "I can't stop thinking about it either. I don't know what you gave me but I can't get you off my mind Kat." 

Katya's cheeks turned red, as she smiled to herself, looking sideways at Trixie. Then, she broke into laughter, and almost immediately Trixie followed. 

They both continued to walk, while giggling and teasingly pushing eachother with their shoulders. Some passerby people stared at them in confusion as they laughed, but neither of them minded.

A little bit afterwards, they reached Katya's house. Trixie's was only a couple of houses up the street, so this was where they parted. 

They stopped in front of the porch, staring at eachother. They still hadn't mastered goodbye yet, it wasn't something they were good at.

"Alright, then I'll text you the details for Saturday." 

"Okay." 

They stared at eachother for a little longer, both with blushed cheeks and not knowing what to do. Katya took a deep breath, stepping a little closer.

"Is it okay if I kiss you before you go? I know we shouldn't and it's reckless, and we said we'd wait, but I genuinely don't know if I..." Trixie didn't let her finish her sentence, as she pulled her in for a soft kiss.

It was quick and gentle, but it was enough to send a million butterflies all through her body. Katya took a step back, smiling and looking at her in surprise.

"Kat, it's ok. I know we're taking things slow, but we're also teenagers, it's fine if we're a little reckless on that aspect, let's just enjoy what we got." 

Katya's smile grew bigger, as she took her hand in hers. 

"Look at you, being a rebel. Who would've thought you'd ever say something like that." 

"Not me. But I stand by what I said. I don't know how this relationship is going to develop, and I know I want it to grow into something, but I also know it's fine if we send cheesy texts and kiss eachother if we want to. I'm done holding back in life." 

Katya gave her another quick kiss, before putting a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Very well then, beautiful. I'll see you Saturday. Have a good night." 

Trixie smiled back, gazing lovingly into her eyes.

"Have a good night as well." 

She waited for Katya to go inside her house before turning around and walking back to hers. As she did that, she realised what she had done. 

She had kissed Katya, in the middle of street, where people could see them. And she didn't mind for once.

She smiled, her heart content. They had no definite label for what they were yet, and Trixie knew they still had a long way to go. But she also knew she wanted to enjoy things, and she didn't want to suppress her feelings or wait to speak her mind.

As she walked back home, with a soft smile on her lips, she felt the most like herself like she had felt in a long time.

-  
-  
\- 

To Trixie's relief, the rest of the week was relatively easy. In the end, Brayden couldn't show up for dinner because he had a team project, so she was able to enjoy dinner a bit more. 

She continued to send texts to Katya every night, where they talked about everything and nothing at the same time. They were also able to discuss the plans for Saturday, and now Trixie was getting ready for her first official date. 

Needless to say, she was nervous. 

She paced through her room, trying to figure out what to wear. She was sending Bob pictures of every outfit she could come up with, asking for her advice. 

It wasn't much help though, for she mainly just laughed at Trixie. 

She knew she was being irrational. Katya was her friend, and she was comfortable around her. Hell, she had seen her (and done more than just that) while being naked. Choosing an outfit shouldn't be something that consumed her mind so much.

And yet it did. 

After what seemed like forever, she decided on a navy blue dress that hugged to her body, tied at her waist with a brown belt. She put her hair to the side, slipped on her high heeled white boots, put on a soft pink shade of lipgloss, and grabbed her purse.

She was going to be meeting with Katya a couple of houses away from hers, as to not raise suspicion among her parents. They knew she was going out, but they thought she was hanging out with Bob, who had been amazing and had agreed to be her cover up. 

She said goodbye to them and walked outside, heading straight down the road. Just a couple of houses down, she found Katya, who was already waiting next to her bike. 

She was wearing a black and red dress, with high heeled black boots. Her hair was up on a messy but elaborate hairdo, and her tattoos seemed to pop up with the colour of the fabric. 

As soon as she saw her, she smiled softly, an action that Trixie reciprocated. 

"Hi." Katya said, looking at Trixie with the smile still on her face.

'Hi." 

"You look nice." 

"Thanks. You do too." 

They stared at eachother for a few seconds, before laughing to break off the awkward tension they had. 

"You're ready to go? I heard that if we want to catch a table there we need to arrive early." Katya said, signaling Trixie to get on the bike.

"Ok then, let's go." She took her place on the vehicle, as Katya started driving. 

Trixie always enjoyed going on rides on her bike. The cool air on her skin made her feel nice, and she felt free with the speed. She also liked hugging Katya, that was a big plus.

They drove for about half an hour before arriving to their destination. It was a small open mall, with a very open space for walking around. They had beautiful fountains, benches and fairy lights hanging from the few trees they had.

Trixie liked going there, although she didn't do it often. They had agreed on going to that mall because of a new sushi restaurant they wanted to try. 

As they walked inside the establishment, it became awfully clear to Trixie that they were dressed up for something far more fancy. Both of them looked like they were going to a party or event, making them pop among the casual crowd.

Just as if reading her mind, Katya leaned in to her ear as the waiter walked them to their table. 

"Is it just me or are we over dressed for this?" Trixie giggled, turning to Katya.

"Oh we definitely are. We didn't think this through."

They sat down on their table, one in front of the other, distantly looking at their menus.

"You know what this reminds me of? That one picture of a couple that went to McDonald's just after their wedding. So the girl is in her big white gown, and he's still wearing the suit, but they're eating at McDonald's." Trixie laughed at the memory of the picture. It was weird to see people dressed up in such a fancy way while being in a contrasting place. "We should do that." 

Trixie wasn't eating anything yet, but she almost choked. "Get married?" 

Katya realised how her words had sound, and she immediately went red with embarrasment. "No! I meant dress up and go to McDonald's. I mean, unless you want to get married, but personally I don't know if that..." 

"Are you ready to order?" Asked the waiter, that had appeared out of nowhere. Both girls were red, flustered, embarrassed and trying not to laugh, so it was difficult for both of them to keep their composure and order the food.

Every now and then they made eye contact with eachother, which just made it more difficult to not laugh.

Eventually they were able to order their food successfully, and after the waiter left, they released the laugh they had been holding. 

"Ok, so what do you want to talk about?" Asked Katya once they stopped laughing.

"So, I've always wondered, when did you get your first tattoo? And how did you get so many at this age?" 

"I got my first tattoo at fourteen, it was a very small one, and needless to say, my mom didn't know about it." Katya stretched out her arm, showing a taurus sign just above her elbow. "She freaked out when she realised I had done it, but it's not like she could take it off. She eventually let me get more and took me to get them herself, because the tattoo shop at where I got this one wasn't the best, and she said that if I was going to get them anyway it might as well be in a good place." 

Trixie watched her with attention, as she explained why each piece was there. As she talked about her tattoos, she saw in her face an expression she hadn't seen before. She was smiling as she told the stories, but it seemed to be a bittersweet smile. She had gotten all of her tattoos with her mom, and a lot of them were in some way related to that. 

However, she knew that her relationship with her mom wasn't great. Katya had told her before that they didn't get along most of the time, and she had basically payed her to not go back to the country and to leave her alone. 

Trixie didn't realize that Katya had stopped talking, until after a while. She was staring at her hands, quiet. 

"Hey, you okay?" Trixie asked, holding back the need to reach out and hold her hands. 

"Yeah, it's just... It seems like the tattoo trips were the only time I got along with my mom. It got to a point where I'd just use them as an excuse to hang out with her, a lot of these I didn't even want to get." 

Trixie's heart seemed to shrink as she heard those words. It hurt her to see Katya in pain, and not being able to do something about it because it wasn't related to her. 

Katya looked up at Trixie, seeing the worried look in her face. She took a deep breath, and sat straight. 

"Anyway, I don't want to bring the mood down, this is supposed to be about us. I was being awkward earlier so I didn't get to tell you properly, but you look beautiful tonight." 

Trixie smiled at the compliment, her cheeks a little red. "You look great too. I mean it, that dress is amazing." 

Katya smiled back at her, and soon they were holding a nice conversation. A couple of minutes later their food arrived, and they continued to chat when they weren't chewing. 

Trixie was having a very nice time. She was usually quiet at dinners, she never felt like she had anything to say to her parents. But this was different, Katya was interested in what she had to say, and she felt like she could talk about anything and she wouldn't mind. She actually enjoyed dinner for once.

At the end, they only had their drinks left, and were only waiting to finish them to leave. 

"By the way, " Trixie started, "you never told me the story about how you found out you only like women." 

Katya took a sip of her drink, before resting her arms on the table for further comfort. 

"It was very messy, actually. I used to..." She stopped herself for a moment, as if choosing her words. "I used to be with men, mostly. I thought I was bi, but even then I suppressed that attraction to women. I guess I was trying to convince myself that there was at least some part of me that was straight. Which I later realised is not how bisexuality works." 

She took another sip, and this time Trixie was the one to get more comfortable, leaning in a little closer in the table, as to make the conversation more private.

"Until one night, after hooking up with yet another guy, I realized I hated it. I had been with enough people to know that it wasn't because of something he had done. I just didn't like being with men, in general. It was hard getting to accept that, and allowing myself to feel attraction towards women. But hey, I'm here now, right?" 

She smiled at Trixie, to which she smiled back.

They finished their drinks, payed up (splitting the cost), and went outside to walk around the mall. It was a beautiful place, the night sky shining on top of them. 

"Hey Kat." 

"Yeah?" 

"I know a place uptown in the forest, where you can lay down and look at the stars. I was wondering if you'd like to go there, maybe?" Trixie asked, a little embarrassed. It had been Katya's idea to go to the mall, and she didn't want to make it seem like she didn't like it. However, she didn't seem to mind.

"Sure, I'd love to. This mall is very pretty but there's not a lot to do here I think." 

They walked out of the mall, back into the parking lot and into Katya's bike. Trixie gave her the directions as Katya drove, so that they wouldn't get lost. After a while of driving, they made it to the spot.

It was an open space next to the forest, with dark green grass and the night sky shining wide above it. There were small groups of people sitting all around the terrain. From couples in dates, to friend groups hanging out with music and snacks, it had a nice calming vibe. 

Despite the fact that there were already people there, it was big enough so that they could find a spot without other people making noise or being too close to someone else. 

They didn't have a blanket, so they just sat down with their backs to a tree. They sat in silence next to eachother, looking at the stars. 

Trixie looked over at Katya, taking her in. She always gave Trixie the impression that she seemed older than she actually was, she had grown up too soon, being introduced to the adult world as a child. But it was in moments like this where she actually seemed her age. If you looked close enough, in the right moment, you could see her as she was. An eighteen year old girl, trying to fend by herself in a place she didn't yet know, with no support from her parents and a home that wasn't hers. 

Trixie looked at her and felt a bolt of fear when she realised how much she cared. How head over heels she was for her, how much she liked her. 

Katya didn't seem to notice her gaze upon her, so Trixie looked back up at the sky, and after taking a breath of strength, she layed her head against Katya's shoulder. 

She gasped at the action, clearly not expecting it, but she didn't push her away. She took Trixie's hand in hers, and started to draw circles on it with her finger. 

They stayed liked that for a while, not saying any words. It wasn't awkward for them to be in silence, they were used to it and felt comfortable with it. There was no need for words sometimes. 

Trixie thought to herself that she could stay that way forever. She could stay laying next to Katya, her body soft and warm against hers, her breathing relaxed and her hearth happy. 

But it couldn't last forever, and it was with big worry that reality came back to her like a truck, hitting her with a question she hadn't yet asked herself. What was going to happen once the school year was over? 

She tensed up, and Katya noticed. She stopped making circles in her hand, and just held it instead.

"Trix? What is it?" 

She didn't move from her spot. She took another breath, squeezing Katya's hand. 

"What are you going to do when we graduate? Are you staying here?" 

Katya moved from where she was, forcing Trixie to move as well. They were now looking at eachother, their hands still linked . 

"Well, yeah I intend to stay in the country if that's what you mean. I can't go back to Russia." 

"I know, but I meant... do you know where you're going to university? are you going to go?" 

Katya pulled her a little closer, taking a deep breath. 

"I don't know. To be honest, I don't know. I..." She sighed, avoiding eye contact. "Do you think it's crazy to follow a dream when you know you're too late? When the start line is far behind you?" 

"What do you mean?"

"I want to be a gymnast. I want to do it professionally, and maybe even get to the Olympics. I know I'm starting late, most gymnasts start way earlier in their life, but I didn't have the chance to do that. I'm looking for an institute or school that allows me to practice and learn. But yeah, I don't know if it's possible. I want to at least try though."

Trixie looked at her in surprise. She didn't know that was what she wanted to do, they had never talked about it. However, it made sense. She had seen her during cheerleading practice, and during the show. She had been promoted to co-captain almost as soon as she arrived to the school. She was really good at what she did, she was flexible and fast and strong. It was easy seeing her doing that.

"What about you?" Katya asked, raising her gaze towards her. "Do you know where you want to study?" 

Trixie swallowed, unsure of what to say. She also didn't know. 

"Well... I don't know either. My parents have this elaborate plan for me, they want me to study economy or something of the sort, so that we could work in the same enterprise. I've never been given a choice or considered the opportunity of doing anything else than that." 

"But if you could choose, what would it be?" 

She didn't even have to think about it, the answer came to her naturally. "Music. Music or arts. I've always loved singing and playing guitar, and writing my own songs. If I had the chance, I'd love to dedicate my life to that." 

Katya smiled at her, to which she smiled back. She still felt a little worried, since her concerns had not been discussed, but she didn't want to further bring the mood down. 

Trixie got up from the grass, dusting off her dress. 

"We should probably go now, it's a little late." 

Katya followed, also going up.

"Yeah, you're right. Let's go." 

As they walked back towards Katya's bike, Trixie couldn't help but wish that they could do that everyday. She wished to spend as many time as possible with her, because despite the fact that they hadn't talked about it yet, she knew it wasn't going to last forever.

They were only teenagers, after all, and it was silly to believe they were going to be together forever. 

Trixie looked at the girl in front of her, taking in her essence. She tried not to think about the future, and just live in the now. She held Katya's hand as they walked through the grass, trying to memorize the touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... hello.
> 
> first of all, I know what you're thinking, and yes I'm so sorry that this episode took me a month to release :( i will spare you the details because they might be triggering for someone, but I've been struggling a lot with mental health, so I needed to take a break for myself. whenever I wrote I felt uninspired and I didn't like the outcome, so I basically went on hiatus.
> 
> I also needed to organise the timeline for the story because I wasn't sure when things were supposed to happen, but I've figured it out! 
> 
> I also wanted to let you know that I'm aware the story might be getting a little bit monotone, but trust me when I say things are about to go down 👀 so enjoy those scenes while you can.
> 
> for those who might be wondering, I don't know how long the story will be, but I'm guessing around 20 chapters, which means we're almost halfway through! 
> 
> in other news, we have a playlist! that's right, I made a Spotify playlist with songs that either remind me of the story, or were used as background music/inspiration for some scenes. I'll leave you the link so you can go check it out :) 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Zhxr5pS6ACt8kmlILEdx4?si=gf2ckKWRTZOrtxv1NIEsBQ (if the link doesn't work, you can look it up as "pompom's fanfic 💓❤️"
> 
> anyway, I've written too long a note. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, again, sorry it took me so long. I'll see you next time, take care! ❤️


	11. начало конца

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey! 
> 
> so, before we begin, I want to make somethings clear. first of all, this chapter has an individual TW but you should still know it deals with some darker more mature topics, that some people might find sensitive. despite that, I don't suggest you skip the episode, since it gives some important information about Katya and her past.
> 
> second of all, I am very aware that Trixie's birthday is actually in August, but for the sake of the story I had to change that date, lmao, please don't come at me. let's pretend that this is right, okay? okay.
> 
> by the way, the story is set on 2020, so let's pretend in this universe covid doesn't exist and we can all live in peace :) 
> 
> lastly, I'd like to ask you to prepare yourselves, because from here on, it's a wild ride. buckle up!
> 
> that being said, please stay safe during these times of covid, specially if you live in the US since election day is coming up. wishing you all love, safety and happiness :)
> 
> as always, be gay, do crime, and enjoy! 💗

**Boston, 2008**

"Stop it, you're going to make me fall!" She yelled at him, as he tugged the tree branch she was sitting in. He was laughing, entertained by her fear of the fall. "Johan, I mean it, stop!" 

The boy laughed once again, before stopping the movement. He layed on the tree, looking up at her.

"Oh, come on Kitty, we were having fun. You're not falling from there, look at how hard you're holding on to that branch." 

Katya loosened her grip, sitting back up. She pouted at the boy, mad from his prank and his nickname for her. 

"So what? it was rude anyway."

"Whatever you say, Kitty" She tried to kick him with her leg, but he managed to escape. Next thing she knew, he was running away from the tree. 

"Hey, wait!" She climbed down from the tree, running after him. They soon got caught on a game of tag, running around the park, giggling and calling out for eachother as they ran.

Katya had a hard time catching him. She was only seven years old, and Johan was already ten. He was much faster, with his longer lengs and bigger strength. Despite that, they had fun. 

They were good friends, having met because of their families. At first, they didn't like eachother, but eventually they became close. 

In fact, he was Katya's only friend. She was a quiet kid, that others perceived as weird. She was the outcast, the one nobody talked to. Johan, however, didn't care. 

He was weird in his own way too, not having many friends either. They fought a lot with one another, their personalities crashing at times, but that didn't stop them from being close. 

Katya really liked Johan. He was nice.

**Boston, 2013**

"He did it again. He really did it again." Katya said with frustration, holding back her tears. Next to her, Johan looked at her with concern. "They were my poems, my writing. He had no right to burn it all." 

"Now, now, kitty." He put his hand on her hair, stroking the short strands. They were messy and uneven, she had cut them by herself a couple of nights before, and they were almost as short as his hair. "He can be an asshole, I know. But you can't let him bring you down. You have talent, Kitty. I know you miss them, but you can write more in the future. And this time, they'll be even better."

"I know, but I'm just so tired of this. I don't feel at home in my own house." 

Johan looked at her for a while, taking a deep breath and moving so that he was sitting in front of her. She looked up curiously. 

"From now on, I promise I will protect you. I won't let anyone or anything hurt you, okay? I promise." 

She smiled at him, feeling safe in his presence. He was older than her, wiser. And she trusted him.

**Boston, 2015**

Katya stood next to the wall, her arms crossed thight in front of her. Her foot went up and down on a nervous step, the stress taking such a big effect on her, you could see it.

She heard a rustle to her left, and Johan appeared. He had grown to be far taller than her. He was seventeen years old, and his shade towered over a much younger Katya. 

He stood next to her on the wall, leaning his back on it. They were quiet for a while.

"You need rest, Kitty. Don't think I haven't noticed your state." 

Katya shrugged, dismissing his comment, although she knew he was right. Her eyes were surrounded by deep bags that she tried to hide with eyeliner, her weight had gone down, and she looked paler than usual. She was loosing herself, and she could feel it. 

"Everyone's noticed my state. It doesn't change anything." 

"Don't be such a pessimist, come on" He pushed her teasingly, pressing his knee against her hip. It sent a wave of pain through her body, that she had a hard time concealing. "Woah, you ok? Did I hurt you?" 

She kept quiet, settling back into her place, trying not to let the pain take over her. He couldn't know. 

"No, you didn't do anything. I.... hurt myself with the edge of a table yesterday. It's still sore." She said, forcing herself to look at him so that he fell for the lie.

"Oh... okay. I thought it was my fault for a moment."

They fell silent again, and just a couple of minutes later, she felt a tap on her arm. Johan was holding out a cigarette, his eyebrows raised.

"What? You don't expect me to take it, do you?" 

"You need to relieve some stress. This is like magic, it works perfectly for that." He said, moving it in front of her as an invitation.

"Johan. I'm fourteen. I shouldn't be smoking." 

"It's just one, Kitty. Besides, you're with me, and I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. You trust me, right? It'll be fine." 

Katya sighed, still unsure of whether she should do it it not. She looked up once again. He seemed so sure, so confident.... If he said it was okay it probably was. 

She nodded, and he lit it up. Katya promised herself that was going to be the first and last time she did it.

**Boston, 2017**

Katya sat on a park bench, her cigarette almost over. It was a cold night, and she was getting tired of waiting. There was no sign of Johan, and she had better things to do.

Well, actually, she didn't. But she liked to pretend like she did. 

She was about to get up and leave, when he arrived. He sat down next to her, panting. He had been running.

"Sorry Kitty, some things came up and it slowed me down. But I'm here now."

"Good, because I don't have much time. You told me you knew a way to make money, what is it?" 

"Easy tiger, allow me to explain." He opened up his coat as Katya threw away the tail of the cigarette. She was almost out of them, she'd had to buy more soon. From inside the coat, Johan pulled out a piece of paper. A flyer, it seemed. He put it in her hand.

"What's this?" She asked, brining it closer to her face to read under the dim light.

"A job. There's a new bar in town. I'm sure you've seen it, it's somewhat close to the school. Anyway, they're hiring people, and the pay is really good." 

"Are you kidding me? This is a pole dancing club! I'm not even allowed inside those places, let alone work in one." 

"Listen, I know the owner. I wouldn't say we're friends, but we went to the same class. He owes me a favour, if I ask him to give you a job he'll say yes."

"Johan..." She took a deep breath, trying not to crush down the flyer. "It's illegal. I'm sixteen, in case you've forgotten. I'm not supposed to be allowed inside a club."

"Kitty, you're overreacting. Listen to me, do you need the money or not?" 

"Well, yeah, but..." 

"You'll be okay, I'll be with you all the time. You'll work as a waitress, you won't even be on stage." He held her hands against his, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I'm trying to help you, but you need to cooperate with me. This is the fastest way, and if you don't like it you're free to leave." 

She took a deep breath in, closing her eyes for a moment. She wasn't fully convinced, but she really didn't have much of a choice. Besides, she wasn't going to be alone. He was there.

It was fine.... right? 

-  
-

Laughter filled the air, as well as the smell of alcohol and a cloud of smoke. Katya sat in the middle of the round couch, surrounded by Johan and his friends. 

She took another hit from her cigarette, a little annoyed. It was clear everyone was drunk as hell, and quite possibly under the influence of other types of substances. Katya, however, was sober. Or at least more than they were.

Johan sat on the opposite end of the couch, ignoring her completely. He was flirting with a girl that claimed to be his girlfriend. Katya hated her, she was a bitch.

Her foot was going up and down with stress, waiting for a chance to leave. Her shift had been long, and when Johan said they were going to an after party, she didn't expect it to take that long.

She also felt gross. She had been sweating a lot, her makeup was runny, her fishnets stuck to her thighs like holding on to dear life, and her feet hurt from walking around in heeled boots. She wanted to leave, so, so bad.

She finished her fifth (fifth? she had already lost count) cigarette, disposing of it on the table. She leaned back in the couch with a sigh. Next to her, a boy laughed.

She looked over at him, his gaze on her. He must've been around Johan's age. His hair was brown and messy, his eyes glowing dark under the blue light. 

"Annoyed, sweetheart?" 

She rolled her eyes, clicking her tongue in a dismissing manor. She looked back at him, trying to come up with a witty comeback, but she couldn't think of anything clever. Perhaps she wasn't as sober as she had thought.

"Are you not? This thing sucks." 

He laughed again, putting down his drink. He didn't seem drunk.

"Want to leave then?" He asked, his gaze on her legs.

Oh.... Oh. Realization hit her like a bus, flush rushing to her face. She hadn't done anything sexual before but... surely it was okay right? besides, what else was she supposed to do? 

"Lead the way." 

-  
-

She knew boys liked her. She liked that they liked her. 

She learned how to lure them in. A smirk, the swaying of a hip, the gaze to give. Sometimes, she didn't even have to do anything. Her looks were enough. 

She didn't have a magazine body, but her stance was enough. Dark makeup and clothes, revealing legs, tattoos, cigarettes. She was the kind that they liked. And she took advantage of it.

She didn't keep count of her hookups, she couldn't be bothered. Besides, most of them liked it better when they knew she didn't keep any ties. It was a win-win situation.

Walking down the street, she felt powerful. She couldn't describe the feeling of walking next to a couple, and seeing the girlfriend get mad because her boyfriend couldn't stop looking. She took great pride in it, it was something she enjoyed. The girls always had great reactions, as for the guys, she didn't know. They were never the one she was looking at.

She spent her time analyzing other girls. Looking at them walking, flipping their hair, laughing. Sometimes, she couldn't divert her gaze. It was annoying. She had nothing to be jealous of, and yet she couldn't stop. Weird.

In the bar, she got a big reputation. Katya, the beautiful and mysterious bartender with enchanting eyes. Or so she'd heard.

She didn't mind delivering drinks, but she longed for the stage. One day, she told herself. One day.

**Boston, 2018**

Katya sat down on the airport bench, her cheap watered down coffee was barely enough to keep her hands warm. It was five in the morning, and she felt as if it were a personal offence that they were leaving so early.

Next to her, Johan yawned, before taking a bite out of his bagel. They were both tired, stressed, and a little hungover. Not the perfect feeling for when you're moving to the other side of the world.

"Do you think nightlife is good in Russia?" She asked, taking a sip of her coffee. Johan giggled.

"I hope it is. Otherwise I don't know how we're going to survive this." 

Katya sighed, a weird feeling in her chest. They were moving to Russia, where she had been born. Both her parents had found amazing job opportunities there, and Johan's family decided to tag along, since they had relatives they wanted to be closer to.

Katya didn't mind much, there wasn't anything major she was leaving behind. Sure, she had a couple friends, but it wasn't like she couldn't live without them. Besides, the internet existed, she was going to be fine.

She did, however, hoped this new place would feel like home.

**Vladivostok, Russia, 2018**

(TW: Self harm scars. The paragraph containing this will have this markings * so that it can be skipped if needed)

Katya sat on the edge of her bed, the bag of clothes still closed in her hands. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down her nerves.

It was her first time on stage. Since arriving to Russia, they had a hard time finding jobs, for security was more strict than they were used to. Thankfully, the city they lived in had a pumping nightlife, and finding options for a workplace wasn't difficult. 

On top of that, Johan was quick to move, and his newly found contacts and friends had given them both job opportunities. He was at the bar, and she was on stage.

She wasn't the only one, there were plenty of other girls working along side Katya, but that didn't stop her from being afraid. People here seemed more intense, more serious. 

Back at home, everyone was more laid back, and while they were affiliated with some mildly dangerous people, it wasn't anything to keep an eye out for. Here, however, she was weary of her steps.

She stood up, sighing. If she didn't start getting ready, she was going to be late. 

She opened up the bag, pulling out the outfit and starting the process. Why was she so worried? She had dreamed of being on stage for so long, and now that she had the chance, she didn't feel happy. She didn't feel anything like she imagined she would. 

She started to take off her clothes, stripping down to her underwear. As she turned around to toss her dirty clothes on her bin, she caught a glimpse of herself in her mirror. The reflection caught her breath.

She stepped back, standing in front of it, analyzing her reflection. She hadn't looked at herself with attention for a long time, and she didn't recognize the girl looking back at her.

She had lost a lot of weight, her skin was pale, and she looked ghostly. It was crystal clear she hadn't been taking care of herself. Perhaps it wouldn't have been as bad, if not for the very obvious detail.

* Starting from the top of her hip bones, all the way down to where they met her legs, were bruises and cuts. Scars of old ones and dried blood of the new, gave her an even more grim look. 

* She took a deep breath, gently stroking her hands through both her hips. They were sore still, hurting from the pain of healing. She barely noticed it anymore. She had been doing that to herself for so long, the pain that came with it was a part of her everyday life. 

* It was more painful to do it on her hips than it was on her legs, but she didn't want anybody finding out. She knew she wanted to be on stage someday, which meant she would have to hide them. It was easier if they were up there. Besides, that way she could keep it a secret. No one knew about her scars, not even Johan.

* A couple of the many boys she had hooked up with had perhaps seen them, or felt them, but no one ever mentioned a thing. She preferred it that way, she didn't want to talk about them with someone she had just met. 

With a knot in her throat, she turned back around, continuing the process. This was a new stage of her life, something she had been wishing for for a long time. 

There was no backing down now.

**Vladivostok, Russia, 2019.**

**Friday, 4 am.**

Katya sat down, her heart beating so hard she thought it was going to jump out her chest. Around her, some of the other girls were crying. Some people were running up and down the place, passing by water bottles and trying to keep everything under control. The entire place was chaos.

The manager was checking up on everyone, trying to calm people down. Meanwhile, security tried to keep people from fighting eachother, and helping as much as they could. Everyone was hoping no one had called the cops, or else they'd have far bigger problems.

At the same time, all of the cleaning team was busy wiping away the blood, and there was a group of people around one of the guys from the security team, whose leg was still bleeding. They were stitching him up, now that they had taken the bullet out.

Katya felt a tap on her shoulder, as she analysed the situation. She was startled, looking around to see who it had been. It was one of co-workers.

"Katya? Here's some water if you need." She smiled at the girl, who sat down next to her on the table. Katya was thankful for the water, she needed a distraction. "I know it was awful, but I've seen worse, believe it or not." 

"Is Kaz going to be okay?" She asked, sipping down her water.

"Yeah, the bullet didn't hit any major arteries, he'll be just fine. Thankfully he was the only one injured, but it could've gone south very quickly. I'm glad you're fine." 

Katya smiled, but her mind was elsewhere. She needed to talk to Johan, who, by the way, wasn't there. She had been keeping her cool, trying to avoid the talk, but this was the last straw. She had enough, and he needed to know.

**Monday, 10 pm**

Johan stood next to the kitchen counter, drinking a cup of what Katya assumed was cold coffee. Not because it had intended to be cold, but because it had been left sitting on open air and had lost its warmth.

Katya stood in front of him, her arms crossed. She was annoyed, he was hungover. It wasn't a good mix.

"Kitty, what do you want? I'm barely conscious, and..." 

"I'm no longer working at the bar." That seemed to make him wake up.

"What? Why?"

"I quit." He opened up his eyes in surprise, ready to start talking. "And before you say anything, no, you won't make me change my mind. This is final." 

"Katya, this is stupid. You know how hard it was for me to get you that job, you can't just throw it away." 

"Well, I appreciate the effort, but I also don't give a crap." 

"What do you mean by that? I don't get the point you're trying to get across."

Katya shifted her weight, switching to her other foot. She was a little nervous.

"The point is, I'm done with... with all this, Johan. I'm done with your shady bars, and your drunk friends, and the pointless hookups. I shouldn't even be here, goddamit. I just turned eighteen, and I'm already on the fucking stage of a strip club. Do you understand that? I'm barely legal and I've been doing this for years." 

Johan took another sip, rubbing his fingers in his forehead. He seemed to also be getting annoyed. 

"This meaning..." 

"Meaning I'm mad at you!" She said, finally lowering her arms. She started pacing around the room. "Look at me, Johan. I mean really look at me. I've been sexualising myself since I was a minor, I started to smoke as a child and now I can't stop doing it, I've been under the influence of alcohol and other sorts of substances, I've been with men way older than me that had no good intentions, I've messed up my idea of self worth, and the other day I could've gotten killed at my job because some psycho decided to rob it." 

She took a break to take a breath, putting her arms back up to were they were.

"And it's your fault. This, all of this, is your fault. You introduced me to this world when I was but a kid. You were like my brother, you were supposed to protect me from this, but instead were the one that launched me right in. You ruined me, Johan." 

He had his gaze fixed upon his cup. Katya didn't know if it meant he was falling back asleep or if he was deep in thought.

"And now look at yourself too. You're drunk most of the time, and all you do is go to parties and get wasted. This isn't a good way to live, and you can't blame me for wanting to escape it. I've tried helping you before, and it's all being for nothing. You keep coming back, and I'm tired of trying."

He sighed with exasperation, putting his cup down on the counter. 

"Seriously? You're putting your messed up life in my list of responsibilities? You're calling me out for the problems you have? You act like this is all my fault, like I did everything. This is absurd, Kitty, I..." 

"Don't call me that. In fact, don't call me at all. I don't want to have anything to do with you. Not anymore. You're not good for me, and I regret that I didn't notice before."

"Katya, please just sit down and..." 

"No. I've had enough. You've caused me more harm than you did good. You were a good friend to me for a while, but this is where I draw the line. Goodbye, Johan." She turned around, leaving the house before he could do anything. He was left yelling her name, but she didn't go back. 

And she didn't regret it.

**Vladivostok airport, Russia. 2020**

It had been a somewhat impulsive idea. She had first had the thought on December, and had been unable to let it go since. This plan had been on the making for a couple of weeks, and this was her chance.

Johan and his family were going away for a vacation trip, and has far as everyone was concerned, they still got along. It was the perfect cover up.

Katya hugged her bags closer to her, waiting for the moment to board the plane. Her aunt was letting her borrow her house, so at least she knew where she was going. Not being homeless was a major relief. 

She looked at the clock. It shouldn't be long now. She knew she couldn't back down anymore, having made it that far, and while the thought crossed her mind she didn't consider it. There was no way she was staying there anymore.

She looked at her wrist with a sigh, the bruise from the pulling still there. She had gotten in a fight with her mom, and it had been so bad it almost got physical. She had grabbed Katya by the wrist, pulling her so that she wouldn't leave. It had been too strong a grip, leaving a purple bruise. It hadn't faded yet.

Katya tried to shrug the memory off, focusing on what was ahead of her. A new city, a new school, a new life. And she wanted to make it right. This was her opportunity, her chance in life. She wasn't going to throw it away.

-  
-

The sun was going down, and Katya was busy trying to fix the sink of the downstairs bathroom. For some reason, it had stop working, and she was trying to figure it out on her own. Perhaps calling a plumber would've been a better idea, but her pride was stronger. She wanted to give it a try.

It had been two hours of sitting on the cold hard floor, trying to understand what segment of the tube did what, and why that one piece didn't seem to fit back in place, when the doorbell rang. It was a relief.

She got up, stretching out and dusting off her leggings. Her legs were sore from the sitting position, and they were covered in white dust from the sink. She was going to have to wash them.

Katya walked to the door, opening up with a skip of heart. She knew who it was. 

Just as she expected, on the other side of the door stood Trixie, looking pretty in a purple dress. She was holding something in her hands, but Katya didn't pay attention to that. She was too busy looking at her.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't text you before coming, I assumed you'd be waiting. Sorry if I interrupted something." Said Trixie, balancing up and down on her feet. Katya found that cute.

"It's ok, don't worry about it. Do you want to come in?" Trixie walked inside, and Katya closed the door behind. She took a couple of steps, so that they weren't at the entrance of the house.

"I brought you cookies, Kim's mom made some." Trixie said, handing Katya the object she was holding. It was a small see through bag, and inside were a pile of soft brown cookies. "I managed to sneak out a few, so that I could give you something." 

"Thanks, Barbie doll, they look really good." She said, holding the bag.

"I'm sorry you couldn't go. I... really wanted you to be there, but my parents would've freaked out and... yeah. I feel bad leaving you out like this." Trixie said, and Katya could see that she meant it. She was anxiously biting her lip, something she probably didn't realize she was doing. Her eyes were dim, looking down. It had been her birthday party, and she had asked Katya not to go. She didn't take it personal, she knew that her parents disliked her and wouldn't want her near, but it seemed to really affect Trixie.

"Hey, I get the situation, don't worry about that, okay? One day we'll be able to have all the birthday parties we want." Trixie smiled at her, teasingly pushing her arm.

"Oh! I almost forgot, let me get your gift." Katya rushed upstairs, suddenly remembering the present she had prepared for the other girl. She came back down the stairs, holding a piece of paper about the size of her hand.

"I know it's not a lot, but I didn't want to not give you something. It took me like two days and well... here you go." 

She handed over the paper, and when Trixie saw it, she gasped in surprise. She held her hand up to her mouth, her eyes analyzing what was in front of her.

It was an acrylic painting that Katya had done by hand. The painting showed Trixie wearing a piece of purple fabric, while surrounded by a vine in a circle, and holding two white spears. On the top corners, were the face of a man and an eagle, and on the bottom ones, a bull and a lion. Everything was properly marked around with a black square. At the top of the page read 'XXI', and at the very bottom, in Katya's handwriting, was written 'THE WORLD'. 

"Katya this... this is beautiful oh my goodness. Did you do this yourself?"

"Yes, it's all done by hand. It's supposed to be you as the 'the world' tarot card. It represents fulfillment, sense of belonging, new beggings and infinite possibilities. It reminds me of you." Katya said, playing with her hands. She was nervous over what her reaction was going to be.

Trixie looked up at her, and without asking for permission, she embraced her in a hug. Katya was surprised by the action, but she hugged her back. She took the opportunity to notice that her hair smelled like coconut.

"I love it, Kat, thank you." Trixie said, without letting go. Katya held her tighter, trying to engrave the feeling of her body in her mind. She could've held on to her for the rest of her life. 

Alas it didn't happen, and after a while they parted the hug. Trixie had a big smile on her face, and she was still looking at the painting in awe. 

"I'll hang it in my room, for sure. It's truly beautiful."

Katya smiled at her, taking a deep breath. She had been planning to have this conversation with Trixie for a while, but that didn't make her any less nervous.

"Hey, there's actually something I wanted to talk about with you. You know we've been hanging out for a long time and I was..." She was cut off by the sound of a ringing phone, which startled both of them.

Trixie pulled out her phone, looking at the screen. She cursed under her breath.

"Damn it, it's my mom. I gotta go back home. But hey, you can continue to tell me about this via text?" 

"I... Uhhh..." She didn't know what to say, it hadn't been in her plans to get interrupted, and it wasn't something she wanted to talk about through a phone. "I'll tell you later, actually." 

"Okay, well sorry I have to go so abruptly. She gets crazy if I don't follow her rules." 

Katya walked Trixie out to the door, where she turned around with a smile. 

"See you soon, Kat. Thanks for the gift again."

"See you. Happy birthday, Barbie doll." 

Trixie waved with her hand, before speed walking back home. Katya watched her leave with a sigh, a little disappointed over the failed attempt of her conversation. She'd have to try again later. 

She walked back inside her house, already wondering when they would see eachother again.

-

Trixie walked inside her house trying to breathe at a normal speed. She wasn't completely tired, but speed walking had agitated her breath. 

She walked towards the stairs, with the intention of going to her bedroom, but she was stopped by her father's voice, calling her name.

She took a couple steps back, standing in front of the dining room. Both her parents were there, her mother sitting down with an indescifrable look on her face, and her father standing behind her, his arms crossed and anger drawn in his eyes.

Trixie gulped down, standing still. The birthday decorations were still up in the walls, crashing with the tensional mood in the room.

"Guys? Is everything okay?" She asked with a shaky voice. 

Her mom didn't lift up her head, but she started talking.

"After you headed out, your father recieved a call from one of the neighbors asking him to go gather some supplies he was going to let us borrow. As he was walking towards the house, he noticed you also walking inside someone's property."

Trixie's heart started racing, afraid of what her mom was trying to say. _Please let it not be about Katya, please please please._

"Trixie, what I'm trying to say is..." Her father didn't let her finish, for he took a step forward before he began to talk.

"We know you're close to the new neighborhood girl. She can bring you nothing but trouble, and it's not the type of person we raised you to associate yourself with. As of today, you are no longer allowed to speak or meet up with her. If you fail to obey, there will be consequences." 

Trixie could hear him talking, but she was no longer paying attention. Her heart felt like it was sinking down to the bottom of the sea.

This couldn't be happening to her, it couldn't be real, it was something out of a bad dream. Except it wasn't, she was fully awake and this was true.

_Oh, Trixie,_ she thought to herself, _what have you done? _.__


	12. Update/announcement ! (not a chapter)

hey! as you can see, this isn't a chapter, but rather a place for me to make an announcement about future updates.

right now I'm very busy with school, and since the school year is coming to an end, I have a ton of projects and exams that I need to do, so I have zero time to write.

the next chapter will take longer than usual to come out, which I apologize for, but I wanted to let you know that so that at least you're aware of this :) 

however, not to worry, because once I go into vacation, I will be using my free time to work on this story, and hopefully you'll get more updates! 

again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but if you're also a student you understand how hard it can get, lmao.

also, I'd like to know if you have any theories about what's going to happen? I suppose I haven't given much information to make some solid ones, but I'm curious about what you think. 

oh! on other news (not related to the story) I just wanted to let you all know that I go by she/they pronouns now ! just in case you're ever curious about how to refer to me, lol.

anyway, that's all I have for you today. I hope you're all staying safe and happy, and if you're also struggling with school or a job, hang on there, we got this ! 

I'll see you guys for the next update; thank you for your patience and support :) 💖


	13. "Friday at six"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back, back again 👀 
> 
> no but seriously, I missed posting chapters! this one was specifically fun to write (you'll see why in a moment) so I was really looking forward to it! 
> 
> I also planned on adding an art scene to this one, but I wanted to post it earlier to that you would have something to read, which is why I'm adding it to the next one :) (maybe) 
> 
> anyway, I won't give out too much about this chapter but just in advance... I'm sorry :p   
> I hope I can get the other chapter up before the end of the year, but in case that doesn't happen, happy new year! I hope 2021 treats us all better lmao.
> 
> lastly, if you want to interact more with me be sure to follow me on twitter at @anromeow, or on my Instagram art account @andiedoesart
> 
> that's all for now!   
> be gay, do crime, sing some holiday jingles, and enjoy! ❄️☃️

Trixie sat down at the couch on a sort of daze. This couldn't be happening, not to her.

She watched silently as her mother walked upstairs, and her dad continued his activities. She was trying to get her mind in order, trying to process the information.

She got up with the intention of going towards her room, but she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. Behind her, her dad looked mad.

"Listen, Trixie. Your mother might be going soft on this topic, but not me. I mean it when I say you can't talk to that girl anymore. I will make sure myself if I need to. And if I am to find out that you've disobeyed, the consequences will go not only to you." Trixie widened her eyes in fear, unable to believe what he was saying. "You know I'm a very influential man", he said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "And I can get her kicked out of her school with a snap of my fingers. I can get her out of this neighborhood if I need to. Don't try me, Trixie. I mean that." 

Before she could say anything else, he turned around and went into the kitchen, leaving her with a fast beating heart and an even bigger sense of dread.

She walked up to her room, feeling a knot forming behind her throat.

She walked into her closet, too distraught to turn on the lights. She paced around, trying to control her breathing. When she realised that wasn't making any effect, she slid into the floor, and let the feeling wash over her.

Trixie was no stranger to panic attacks, but that didn't make it any easier to experience them. She allowed herself to let it pass, without attempting to suppress the emotions.

After what felt like forever, her breathing started to calm, leaving her drained. As it always happened after such a strong experience, she felt tired, as if is she had just finished working out.

Her body felt drained and sleepy, begging for rest.

She got up from the floor, basically dragging herself to her bedroom. She would deal with this later.

After putting on her pajamas, she went inside her bathroom to wash off her face. She was trying not to think too much, she didn't want to start crying again.

As she walked out of the bathroom, she was startled by the figure sitting on her bed. Her mother, wrapped in a silk robe and with no makeup on, was staring at her from the top of her pink bed covers.

"Hey." Trixie said, immediately uncomfortable. The older woman seemed uncomfortable as well, as she changed her seating position. Trixie didn't move from the door frame.

"Hey. I wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier." Trixie swallowed hard, trying to suppress her emotions. She really wasn't in the mood to be lectured again.

She was about to ask her to leave, but she got ahead and began talking.

"Listen, the way your father reacted... I think it was unnecessary." Trixie froze in her place, unable to believe her mother's words. That was nowhere near to what she was expecting her to say. "I... it's true I've said some bad stuff about this friend of yours before. You know I grew up with very strict parents and a rather conservative view in life, and it's difficult for me to get rid of those stigmas easily. I'm aware I judged her harshly." 

Trixie was far more than shocked. She couldn't believe what was in front of her eyes, her mother admitting she had been wrong. That had never happened before.

"I don't know if I'm right or not, but all I know is I was intimidated by her appearance. The tattoos, the leather clothes, the motorcycle... I couldn't look past that. She's the opposite of what we've raised you to be and I was afraid of what that meant for you. But you're my daughter, and I need to learn to trust your judgement. If you think she's a good person, and you want her as a friend, I will support it. I won't lie, I'm not entirely convinced by her yet, but I'll give her a chance if it makes you happy." 

Trixie started doing exactly what she didn't want to do. Crying. But this time, it was because of relief. She had never expected her mom, of all people, to be the one having that reaction. And to have it finally be true, to finally have her trust and support on something, was more than enough.

She rushed to her mother's arms, where she held her gently, stroking her hair. After the sobs passed, she began speaking again.

"You know, I was actually not allowed to hang out with one my best friends either when I was younger. Your parents were afraid of her, because she was very different from us, and had traveled from a different side of the world. Her English wasn't great, and her family had a religion my parents weren't familiar with. But I didn't care, because she was nice and I liked playing with her. She ended up becoming a really good friend of mine, and I'm glad I didn't listen to them." 

Trixie smiled and wiped off the trace of her tears. Her mother looked tired, but a soft smile was also on her lips. 

"However, Trixie, your father is still heavily against this. If you want to continue to be friends with this girl, you'll have to do it in secret from him. I'll help you cover things up, and pretend if you need me to. But I won't be able to convince him to let this go. I've tried already and... there's just no way. I'm sorry." 

"It's okay mom, you tried your best. This is enough, thank you." 

Trixie hugged her once again, and for the first time in a long time, she felt at home in her arms.

-  
-

The days after that weren't easy. She had to ask Katya to stop sneaking into her room for fear of her father finding out about them, and she started to ignore her texts and calls.

She became paranoid. Everything she did she was afraid her father would find suspicious. And he gave her reasons to be nervous, since he was constantly around her, like analyzing her actions.

She started to feel anxiety again. She was jumpy, getting startled with every little thing. She felt like she was walking on glass. 

However, she didn't want to tell this to Katya. She worried too much because of her, and she didn't want to put that fear into her shoulders. No, she couldn't do that to her. Besides, she had it under control.

That was her plan, handling it on her own and waiting for the situation to pass down, and then everything would go back to normal. There was no need to get her worried. 

And she was very busy anyway. College applications were coming up, and it started to become a topic that slowly started consuming her life. 

Her parents (her father, to be more specific), wanted her to be in the same business as they were. Her dad had started talking about college options and encouraging her to accompany him to work to see the way the company worked, but Trixie couldn't care less. She wasn't interested in the business life, and sitting around in an office sounded like a nightmare.

Despite that, she didn't have much of a choice. If she wanted to regain her father's trust, she had to make a few sacrifices, which included listening to him talking about administration for hours on end, mentioning schools she had no intention to go to; and even taking her to his job on the evenings, showing her the way things worked and taking her to meetings. 

It seemed to be working, but she didn't feel safe enough to let her guard down. She was still weary of her surroundings, and reclutant to have phone calls with Katya.

Everything was going according to plan, and it seemed like it was going to be great, but as usual, it didn´t last long.

It was saturday, and the sun was at it´s peak. Trixie´s school decided it was the perfect time to retouch the paint of the outside walls, and everyone who helped would get extra credit on their grades. Trixie didn´t need the credit, but she was bored and wanted an excuse to not have to go to another one of her dad´s meetings. So, she agreed to help. 

Now she carried a bucket of blue paint as she walked towards the outside of the gym. She tied her hair back into a ponytail and stepped up a ladder in order to reach the wall. As she started to paint, she heard the distant chattering of the other students around the yard. It made her slighlty frustrated, because she had expected to hang out with Kim, but the principal had assigned them completely different areas to paint, which left her alone. 

At least the wall provided shade, so she wasn´t directly under the sun. 

After hours of painting, once the sun was begging to set, she noticed a figure jogging towards her. She was too focused on the final touches, so she didn´t lower her sight. It was probably Kim who had escaped from her chores and was coming to her rescue. However the voice that talked to her sounded familiar in the wrong way. 

"Keep going, you almost managed to make it look good."

Trixie nearly fell off the stairs by the speed she turned around with. Just a couple of steps below her stood Katya, sweat dripping down from her forehead. Her bangs were now long, and they rested in the sides of her face. The rest of her hair was also in a ponytail, and due to the messiness of her hair and the sweat in her brow, she assumed she had being doing some sort of physical activity. What didn´t make sense was why she was at her shcool on a saturday. 

"What are you doing here?" Trixie asked, taking a couple of steps down the ladder. 

"I came to help." Katya answered, as if it wasn´t the most obvious thing. "A couple of people of my school are here, actually. Did you know your school´s principal sells lab supplies? Because I didn´t. Anyway, our chem teacher asked if we could pick up the order for her, and as soon as they saw us here they asked for our help with the renovations. I didn´t have anything better to do, so here I am."

_Of course,_ Trixie thought to herself. _Of all the places she could´ve been she had to be at my school._

"Well... Okay." Trixie said, unsure of how to continue the conversation. She was about to turn around and start painting again, when Katya held her by the arm.

"Trixie, wait. I wanted to use this opportunity since I saw you here. There's something I want to talk about with you." Katya paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Have you been avoiding me?" 

Trixie's heart sank in her chest. That was exactly what she didn't want Katya to feel like. She panicked for a moment, looking for an answer that wouldn't give everything away.

"What? Not at all. What makes you say that?" She asked as if she didn't already knew the answer.

"Well, you've been ignoring my calls and texts. You answer days after I texted you, and we don't hang out anymore, it's just... you've been overall distant. Did I do something? Is everything okay?" 

Trixie looked at Katya's puppy eyes and almost told her everything. How awful it had been avoiding her, and that she was doing it to keep her safe, so that her life wouldn't go south. But now it was even clearer to her that she couldn't do it. It would only affect her more.

"No, no, you didn't do anything, don't worry about that. Everything's okay, I've just been very busy with the whole college thing, and my dad has been dragging me to his job almost everyday. That's all. I haven't been avoiding you." 

Katya scrunched her eyes, clearly unsure of her answer, but she didn't push it.

"Okay, if you say so." 

"Oh, by the way! The day of my birthday you said you wanted to ask me something, but you never got the chance to do it. What was it?" Trixie asked, sitting down on the step of the ladder.

"Oh... that. I..." Katya looked baffled for a moment, as if she weren't expecting Trixie to bring that topic up and didn't quite know how to answer. "I'll ask you that later, it was about something in my house." 

"Oh, okay." 

"But, I do have something different to ask." Katya said, sitting on the grass in front of her. "There's a game happening at my school next week, and it's a pretty big deal for Pinewood, it happens every year or whatever. The point is that Alaska twisted her ankle so she can't be at the game, which is why I'm taking her place." 

"Alaska twisted her ankle? Can't say I feel bad about it." Trixie said, making Katya giggle.

"Hey, she's my friend." Katya said teasingly. "Anyway, I'm taking the lead next week and because of the magnitude of the game everyone is putting a lot of pressure on me to do it right, but I've never done a routine that complicated. The point is, everyone is going to have someone supporting them, but I don't have anyone. My only friends at school are also in the team, and Alaska won't be there. The girls from the club are busy that day too, which leaves me by my own." 

Trixie took time to analyse Katya's expression. She looked genuinely sad, which wasn't something she was used to seeing. She knew Katya liked to act though and independent, but even she needed the support of those that she cared for.

"What I mean is... I don't know if I can do the whole thing alone. It's too much pressure and I want someone to be there for me. So... do you want to go? I know you're not a big fan of sports, but we're incorporating cheering acts in between, and they sell some good snacks sometimes." 

Trixie smiled towards Katya, her heart warm. She was happy to know that Katya cared enough about her to ask her for her support on the performance.

"I'll be there. Count me in." 

"Great. It's next Friday at six." 

"That's great, because in going on a trip on Saturday." Trixie said, rolling her eyes.

"Really? Where to?" 

"My parents have a cabin up in the woods, pretty much in the middle of nowhere. It takes almost two hours getting there, and we're staying for two weeks. We do it every year, it's supposed to be some family tradition. Brayden's family is also going." 

"Wait, so you're skipping school for two weeks? You'll be out of town?" 

"Yeah. My parents signed a permit though so I'll be fine with the school part. But the trip is boring as fuck, I wish I didn't have to do it." 

"Well, at least you'll have fun the day before. And if you don't it's okay, the pretzels outside of my school are enough to fuel your desire to get as far away from them as possible." Katya said, winking an eye towards her.

Trixie laughed, and Katya laughed too. Trixie realised just how much she had missed her smile.

Eventually they got up from the grass, and they both said goodbye because Katya had to get back home. Trixie finished up the details of the wall, and as she walked towards the school entrance, she wondered how she would manage to go to the game without her dad following her around.

She wasn't sure, but she was going to make it work.

-

The next couple of days went with a similar pace. Wake up, go to school, answer texts from Katya, go have lunch at home, go to dad's work and boring meetings, ignore texts from Katya, go home to sleep, feel bad for ignoring Katya, repeat.

Thankfully for her, her friends realised how stressed she had been looking, so they organized a small going out to a local restaurant that Trixie really enjoyed.

They spent the day outside, having fun and making jokes, which helped Trixie lower her stress for at least one day.

However, that fun didn't last. Friday evening, as soon as she had arrived home, her dad approached her, urging her to dress fancy because they had a special conference and meeting to attend.

This time not only was her father attending, but her mother as well. They told her the meeting was very important because one of the leaders of the company wanted to meet Trixie. They expected her to be a future employee, and he allegedly wanted to start becoming familiar with her. As for the conference, it was alleged to talk about the history of the company and how grateful they were for the guy that founded it.

Trixie couldn't care less but there was no way for her to escape.

She put on a dress, did her hair and makeup and followed them into the car. She got the feeling she was living as a doll, as if someone was making up her life and playing it out for her.

They looked silly. All dressed up in suits and dresses, heading out to a big building to meet with rich people that only cared about money. Trixie wished for the dread to be over, she desperately wanted to go home and lay in bed.

Once they arrived, Trixie felt rather uncomfortable when she realised she was already familiar with the structure of the building due to her many visits. It was the type of thing she preferred to keep far away from her, and knowing the distribution of the area they were in wasn't a part of that plan.

Inside, modern decoration appeared to be the theme of the place. Everything was a monochrome or neutral colour, and simplicity was key. 

They walked around for a couple of minutes before reaching the conference room. There, they were seated via number with the help of tickets that had been previously bought. Trixie wondered why anyone would pay for such a thing.

Just as she suspected, the conference was incredibly boring. It lasted over two hours taking into account the small break they had in-between where they were provided with lunch. 

When the conference was finally over, Trixie struggled to keep her eyelids open. Unfortunately, they still had to attend the meeting.

A secretary walked up to them and guided them towards the reserved meeting room. Inside, they sat down on velvet covered chairs around a large wooden table, and were offered glasses of champagne.

Trixie's parents were talking amongst eachother, excited about the meeting, while she struggled to stay awake. The week had drained all energy out of her, and she found herself being oddly thankful for the two week trip. 

After what felt like hours, a group of people walked into the room. Their sole presence screamed 'snob', and there was a shift in the air due to the authority positions they carried. 

They all took their places around the table, a tall middle aged man sitting at the far end of it. He was clearly the leader of the pack.

"Welcome, welcome, I apologize for the wait. There was another meeting crossed with this one and I'm afraid we exceeded the discussed time. But we are here now, and I'm very glad." 

Trixie took a sip of her champagne glass, hoping the bubbles would keep her awake. There was nothing interesting about the situation.

"I'm certainly very glad we can be here, this meeting has been in the planning for months now." Her father said, fixing up his posture. Trixie held back the need to roll her eyes.

"Indeed. But today, this beautiful Friday evening, we're finally able to do it." 

Trixie held back a yawn. It should be criminal that they had her locked up in there during a Friday evening. 

_Wait a minute. Friday.... Friday evening.... Shit!_

"Excuse me sir, would you mind telling me the time?" Trixie asked the leader guy, ignoring her mother's dirty look.

"Sure thing, it is currently... seven thirty pm." 

"Damn it. I'm so terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I must leave." She said, pushing her chair back and rushing to pick up her coat and purse. "I promised a friend I was going to accompany her somewhere."

"Haha, excuse her, teenagers, you know?" Her mother said to the man, before turning around to her and silent screaming. "What on earth do you think you're doing?? The whole point of this meeting is for him to see you." 

"Sorry mom I promised Naomi I'd be there." That was lie, but she didn't need to know that. "I'll grab a cab. See you guys tonight, good luck." 

Trixie waved a final goodbye to the men in the suits before storming out of the office. She knew her parents were going to forever ground her for that, but she had to get to Katya.

She had been so busy with the conference and the meeting, that she had completely forgotten about the game.

She ran into the street, taking hold of the first cab that passed. Within ten minutes of begging the driver to rush the car, she arrived at Pinewood High.

Trixie ran into the school, but she was stopped by the teachers at the entrance that asked for her to identify herself as either a classmate or a student from the area. She gave them her name and showed them her school ID to prove she was also a student, and they let her in.

Inside, the noise was almost deafening. On the speaker there was someone narrating the game as if it were some professional match, and the screams and cheers from the crowd were very loud.

There was far too many people for the place. She walked around, trying to get a view of the field, but there was no sign of Katya or the team.

Desperate, she tapped on the shoulder of a girl sitting on the audience.

"Excuse me." Trixie said, almost screaming to make her voice heard over the noise. "Did the cheerleading team pass already?" 

"Yeah girly, they did the last number like thirty minutes ago." 

Trixie smiled as a thank you, and walked outside of the crowd, overwhelmed by the high energy and noise. She cursed under her breath.

She had missed the show, it was too late. But she wanted to at least find Katya.

She walked around for a while but she was nowhere to be seen. It was going to be impossible finding her between such a large sea of people.

Trixie sighed in defeat, going towards the bathrooms across the yard. She needed to splash some water in her face and most importantly, get away from the noise.

Once in the bathrooms she sighed in relief. The noise had become a muffled sound thanks to the distance. The area was also peaceful, surrounded by large pine trees that refreshed the smell.

Trixie walked up to the sinks, washing her hands. With the leftover water in them she wet her face. She felt tempted to dunk her head in the water but her mascara would get runny.

As she refreshed herself and fixed her hair, she vaguely noticed someone walking up to the sink on the far opposite end. She assumed the girl had let her hair down based on sound.

"I see you made it. Nice touch, would've been better two hours ago." 

Trixie jumped in her place, shifting her gaze towards the girl. Katya, it was Katya. She was clearly talking to Trixie, but her eyes were fixed in the mirror in front of her.

Trixie tried to swallow the knot in her throat.

"Katya I'm so sorry. I promise I wanted to be here, but there was this conference and..." 

"Shut up Trixie." She fell silent, shocked by the aggressive tone.

Katya turned towards her, her eyes like daggers. It felt like she was piercing through her skin, burning her just with her gaze.

"I tried to believe you. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't anything personal, that you truly just were busy. But clearly you have enough time to hang out with your friends, don't you?" Trixie froze in her place, unable to say anything. How did Katya know that? "Yeah, don't give me that shocked look. I saw you at the mall the other day." 

Katya scoffed, taking a step towards her. Trixie almost took a step back.

"But know it's awfully clear. First, you ask me to stop coming to your house. Then, you don't like it when I call you anymore. Then, you ignore my texts and give me dry, short answers for three weeks. Even then I tried convincing myself it wasn't anything against me, and then what do I see? You don't have time to tell me how you've been but you go out to the mall all day?" 

Trixie opened her mouth to try and say something, but no words came out. She couldn't find anything to say, her mind has gone blank. In front of her, tears had begun rolling down Katya's cheeks.

"But that wasn't the worst part. I told you that this was important to me, I told you how much I needed support. I was all alone back there, with no one to lean on to. I know you don't have to think about this stuff because your family and friends are right here with you, but I have nothing, Trixie. My parents fucking hate me, and my only close friend is trying to pretend like she isn't loosing herself to alcohol. You're all I got and then you leave me too? You didn't even have the guts to tell me you weren't going to make it?" 

Trixie took her hands up to her chest, taking a deep breath in. "Katya, I'm sorry I..."

"No. I don't even want to hear it. I'm tired of trying to conserve whatever this is. You clearly don't want to have anything to do with me anymore and I'm done with trying to convince myself you do. So do whatever you want Trixie, I don't fucking care." 

Katya gave her one last look, before turning around and running on the opposite direction.

Trixie called out her name, but her voice broke down and she didn't return. She fell to the grass, letting out a frustrated scream.

She felt as if her heart had been shattered, completely torn apart. And it was her fault.

She watched as Katya ran away from her. She had never seen her run so fast.

She lowered her head in defeat, a tear making it's way down her cheek. Katya left. 

Katya left and it was her fault.


	14. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there, it's the last update of the year! woo! 
> 
> I wanted to make sure this episode was out before the year ended because I felt bad leaving you with the ending of the previous one, lmao 😅 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I really really liked writing it, and fun fact, I had a whole section already done that had been waiting in my notes app for MONTHS. but today it finally sees daylight!
> 
> also, sidenote here, I know the art scene looks nothing like the past two, but I promise I did it myself too 😭 my art style has been changing a lot, and I think it's also improved since the begging of the year. so yeah, I'm aware none of them look like they were made by the same person, but I promise they were, lol.
> 
> anyway, I won't hold you any longer. happy new year! I hope you all have a great time and if you're attending the virtual meet&greet with Katya tell her I said hi SHDJDH.
> 
> as always,  
> be gay, do crime, and enjoy! 💕

**Saturday**

The car trip to the cabin took about two dreadful hours, which Trixie dedicated to sleeping and ignoring everyone while wearing her headphones.

She felt awful. She couldn't shake off her mind the incident with Katya, the hurt in her eyes. Guilt was consuming her by knowing that it had been her fault.

She had tried texting and calling her, but there had been no response. She hadn't even looked at the messages.

Trixie was worried about her, but there was no way for her to check up on her. Even if she tried sneaking out of her house to try and talk to her, it was evident that Katya didn't want that conversation.

She needed time, Trixie told herself. She tried to believe everything would eventually be okay, but it was difficult given the circumstances.

Her parents had also given her a long lecture about how rude it was to storm off the meeting, but she barely listened. As they talked to her, all she could do was feel the anger rising on the back of her throat.

She stared at her father, hoping her eyes were expressive enough of her resentment. It was partially his fault.

Because while yes, Trixie was aware she had made a mistake by keeping the situation a secret from Katya, it had all happened because of him. If it hadn't been because of his threats and pressure, she wouldn't have done that.

Now, as she stepped out of the car and into the grass, she felt even guiltier. Katya was forced to continue with her life, she couldn't just get a break from school and her job. Meanwhile, after breaking her heart, Trixie arrived at a private house in the woods where she didn't have to worry about a thing. It wasn't fair.

They walked up to the cabin, where Brayden's family already awaited for them. Alongside them was another couple that her parents were also friends with. Unfortunately for Trixie, this meant that all the adults would hang out together, leaving Trixie alone with Brayden.

He smiled as she walked in, greeting her with a head gesture. Trixie gave him a weak smile before walking to her room. She had no energy for anything else.

She didn't do much the first couple of days aside from laying in bed feeling depressed.

**Tuesday**

Tuesday morning she was woken up early because everyone wanted to go to a lake near the cabin. The idea seemed dreadful to Trixie, but since everyone was going, she couldn't stay behind.

The trip to the lake was a forty minute drive, which she didn't mind. Everyone hopped into the large van of Brayden's parents and began making their way down the road.

Everyone was very excited, making jokes and talking amongst eachother. Trixie rarely saw her parents be so outgoing and relaxed. As the trip went on, the energy started to become contagious, and even though she was reclutant, she started to feel better.

It was hard to stay sad when everyone was laughing and singing along to the radio. The station they were listening to had been picked out randomly, and it was supposed to be a compilation of world hits.

Everything was going great, and Trixie was starting to loosen up and smile, when the song on the radio switched to a tune that Trixie recognized as familiar. As soon as the lyrics began, her heart sank down into her stomach.

It was a Russian song, specifically one of the many that Katya kept in her playlist. She had listened to that song many times, during the many occasions in which they hung out on her room.

Everyone else kept dancing and laughing, but Trixie had already lost that energy again. She turned towards the window, trying not to think of Katya, but it was impossible when that was a song that she so strongly related to her.

She cursed the radio for picking it out.

Eventually they made it to the lake, and by the time they arrived Trixie wanted to leave again. She felt bad again, not only was she still guilty for hurting Katya, but she also missed her. It had been so long since they had spent some quality time together, and she really missed the girl.

She tried to divert her mind so that no one would ask her questions. She didn't feel like explaining the situation or making up a story as to why she was sad.

They finished grabbing their stuff and walked up to the edge of the lake, setting it up around it. A few minutes later, everyone was already going inside the water.

Or at least the adults were. Trixie stayed behind sitting next to a tree, taking in the fresh air and the sound of the birds. She needed a moment to distract herself.

From behind her she heard footsteps, and soon enough Brayden sat next to her with a sigh. A couple of silent minutes went by, in which Trixie didn't turn her gaze.

"Hey... it's a pretty day, huh?" Brayden said, trying to make small talk. Trixie only nodded. "Listen... I know everyone else is focused on having fun and making plans so they're too busy to notice, but you seem sad. Like... really sad. Is everything okay?"

Trixie took a deep breath, before turning to face him. He seemed genuinely worried about her, concern painted across his face. Normally Trixie wouldn't answer his question, but she was so done with everything that she figured she'd tell him. Everything.

"Not really. Before I tell you, I need you to know something and I need you to promise you'll keep this to yourself." Brayden nodded, looking serious. "I like women. And by that I mean... only women."

Brayden opened his eyes in surprise, and Trixie gave him a minute to process the information. He looked at her, as if analyzing the situation.

"I'm sorry." He blurted out suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh no, no! I don't mean it like that!" He said, shaking his hands in front of him. "I meant I'm sorry because I've surely been making you uncomfortable. In fact I'm sure I've always made you uncomfortable, even when we were together. If I had known sooner I wouldn't have... I just... I'm sorry."

Trixie looked at how serious he seemed with his apology, and the face of regret he had, that she started laughing. He stared at her in shock.

"Sorry, it's just... You don't have to apologize for what you did when we were together. You didn't know and to be honest neither did I. I was trying to convince myself I still liked men. Don't worry about that, Brayden."

He looked at her with a sigh of relief, and his whole body relaxed. "Okay then, but I'm still sorry for constantly hitting on you. I understand now that it was inappropriate of me to do so, but I hope that doesn't make things weird. You're still my friend, Trixie. I care about you."

She smiled with those words, and for the first time she took her time to look at the boy in front of her. She had gone so used to seeing him as someone to avoid, someone to be uncomfortable around because of how everyone saw them together.

But now, looking back, she realised that even before they started dating, he had been a good friend. He had her back, and supported her when she needed help. He had shown that she truly cared about her, even if he was clueless about a couple of things.

And even know that he knew he would never be with her in a romantic or sexual way, he didn't seem to want to change that. He still supported her, he still cared. He had been many things before, but he was always her friend.

"And you're my friend too. Thanks for understanding."

"Of course, it's the least I can do. But going back to the topic... what is it that has you like this?"

Trixie took a deep breath, hugging her knees towards her chest. She told him everything. She told him about Katya, how close they had gotten, how much she meant to her. She described just how helpless she was for her blue-green eyes, how weak she turned with her smile.

And she also told him about how bad she had messed everything up, how much she had ruined by keeping things from her.

When she finished, she realised she had been crying. In front of her, Brayden seemed to be analyzing the situation, trying to figure out what to say.

"Well..." He started. "It seems to me that you both care a lot about eachother. You might not see it, but it sounds like this girl is just as crazy for you as you are for her. Not only that, but she's your close friend. And yes, the situation is a little complicated, but you just have to talk to her. You both need to have an honest conversation to figure this out."

Trixie wiped her face, sniffling. He put a hand in front of her in the grass. "Listen, Trix. This relationship you built with her? This is special. You don't find things like this everyday. And you can't let it die because of an argument that can still be solved. If you don't fight for this, you'll regret it all your life."

"But what about my dad?" Trixie said, leaning back into the tree. "Even if try to fix this he's still in the way. There's no way for me turn this thing back on him, the only way to do that is if I had something against him, but where would I even get that?."

"Hmmm... something from his job maybe?"

"Could be, yeah. He's always given me the impression he's very private with that. But how would I acces that? everything related to his work is locked up."

"He has a studio here in the cabin." Brayden said, scooting in closer to make sure nobody was listening to their conversation. "He keeps a bunch of information and documents there. Last time we came here, he used me almost as an assistant, so I have a key if you want it."

"Wait... seriously? I wouldn't want you getting in trouble because of it."

"It'll be fine, don't worry about me. I owe you this, let me do it."

Trixie smiled, thanking him for his help. Both of them developed a plan to get her to sneak in, and eventually they got up from the grass and joined the adults for lunch.

The rest of the day went by with ease, and it was around dinner time that the time came for the plan.

"Can I be excused for a minute? I'll join you guys for dinner in a bit, I'm going upstairs to take a bath." Trixie said, winking her eye to Brayden. That was his cue to keep them entertained and unsuspicious while she looked around the studio.

"Of course, take your time."

Trixie walked upstairs, her heart beating fast inside her chest. She made her way towards the studio door. She had never been inside, her presence there was prohibited.

She took a deep breath and slid the key in. The door opened with a small creak. Inside, everything was made of dark brown wood, and the walls were covered in bookshelfs from head to toe. A dark green carpet decorated the floor, clean as if it were new.

Trixie tried not to get distracted with the decorations, she didn't have much time.

She sat down on the desk, turning the PC on. Meanwhile, she rummaged through the drawers, quickly reading through the paperwork. It didn't seem to be anything useful.

Finally the PC turned on, and Trixie turned her attention towards it. She searched and searched for minutes that felt like hours, when she found something that caught her attention.

She double checked the paperwork, comparing it to the files in the computer. She had found something, she actually had something against him.

She pulled out a flash drive that Brayden had also let her borrow, and uploaded the information to it. She took pictures of the pages, and finally walked out of the room, rushing towards her bathroom in case anyone walked upstairs looking for her.

Inside her bedroom, she sighed against the door. There was a part of her that felt guilty for digging into her dad's private information, but given the circumstances she didn't care enough. It was time to flip the card.

However, she was going to wait until the trip was over. She didn't want to make unnecessary tension and ruin it for everybody else, so she refrained from exposing him in the moment. As soon as they arrived home, she would do it.

**Wednesday**

It was late at night. Trixie was playing ping-pong with Brayden while the adults relaxed on the backside of the cabin, and she didn't want to admit it, but she was loosing.

She wasn't good at the game. Frankly, neither was him, but he seemed to have a lot of luck with the scores. Despite not winning, Trixie was having fun.

"And that move was a solid 52 points." Brayden said, while retrieving the ping-pong ball.

"What? That's not true. That was maximum a 30 points. Do you even know how the point system of this game works?"

"No. Do you?"

"No. Guess it doesn't matter since you're clearly winning anyways." He smiled at her while pretending to receive a medal. Trixie rolled her eyes, but ended up laughing anyway. "Hey I'm going to get another soda, want anything?"

"Sure, another lime one."

Trixie walked up to the mini fridge on the other side of the room, retrieving both of the cans. As she returned to put them down on the table, she was startled by the sound of music. Her phone was ringing with a call.

"Let me get that real quick, next round I'll end you."

"You wish."

Trixie walked up towards the phone, expecting it to be one of her friends. She froze when looking at the screen. Katya was calling.

Her heart sank down in fear, and for a moment she was unable to do anything but stare at the phone.

"Trixie? Are you answering that?" Brayden asked, confused by her staring at the phone. That snapped her back into reality, and with a shaky hand she answered the call.

"Hello?"

On the other line, it was practically silent. It took her a couple of seconds to distinguish the sound of heavy breathing on the other side.

"Katya is everything okay?"

"Not at all, no." A sniffle was heard, alongside two shaky breaths. Trixie started getting worried. "I'm sorry for calling you, I just didn't know who else to reach out to and I really don't want to be alone."

"Kat, what happened? Are you alright?" Trixie asked, walking to the corner of the room to get a little bit of privacy. She was concerned for the girl on the line; she was clearly crying.

"It's just... I just received bad news, and I'm freaking out because I don't know what I'm gonna do and it's all too much and I don't know if I..."

"Okay, okay, wait a minute. Take a moment to breathe, alright? It's going to be okay. Are you at your house right now?"

A sniffle. "Yeah, why?"

"Okay, I'm going over there. You think you can wait for me a couple of hours?"

"Yeah but... your trip."

"Fuck that. You're clearly not doing good, and I'm worried about you. I'm not letting you be alone right now, you need someone there with you. I'm coming over, just hold on for a while, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks."

Trixie hung up the phone, turning around in a haze. On the other side, Brayden looked at him with concern. "I'll help you pack."

They both rushed into Trixie's bedroom, putting the most essential stuff into her traveling bag. In just a couple of minutes they were done, and they rushed to get out of the house.

On their way out, they crashed with Trixie's mom, who was returning to the cabin for drinks. She noticed her travelling bag, and scrunched her eyes in confusion.

"Trixie? Where are you going with that?"

"I'm going home. I... I need to help a friend." Her mom continued looking at her, not entirely convinced. "Please mom, I really need to do this."

Finally, she sighed, rubbing her fingers on her forehead.

"Okay then, you can go. I don't think your father will like this, but... do what you gotta do. I'll send you some money for the rest of the week, as well as next one. And please take care of yourself, yeah?"

"Yes. Thank you mom." Trixie said, reaching out for a quick hug.

"And what about you, sir? You don't think you'll escape too, do you?"

"Not at all, I'm just driving her home and I'll be back as soon as she gets there. Promise." Brayden said.

"Okay. Now hurry you two, before they notice you're both gone."

Both of them rushed out of the house and into the parking lot. There, they hopped on the van, and as soon as they were in the car, they were moving.

Trixie was slightly worried about the trip, because Brayden wasn't great at driving. He had his license, but he wasn't a professional yet. However, that didn't matter. She was more worried about Katya.

The car ride was silent. Trixie was biting her nails, nervous. In the driver's seat, Brayden was trying to be as cautious yet as fast as possible with the vehicle.

Finally, after a little under two hours, they made it. Trixie hopped down of the car, thankful for her cozy sweater, since it was cold outside. They unloaded her travelling bag, and stared at eachother for a while, before she decided to break silence.

"Thank you for driving me. Seriously, I owe you one."

"Don't worry about it. Now go get your girl, she needs you. And don't worry about your dad, I'll help distract him."

"Sorry for leaving you alone with all the adults."

"Trixie. Don't worry about it, I mean that. This is important." She took a deep breath in, looking at the house behind her. The lights were off. "See you later, good luck."

"See you."

Trixie turned around, walking towards the house as Brayden drove away. She knocked on the door, but there was no answer. She tried turning the doorknob, and the door opened up. She stepped inside, closing the door behind her. She hesitated for a moment before putting the lock in.

"Katya? I'm here." She called out, without a response. Her heart started beating fast with worry and fear. The house was dark, and there was no sign of Katya.

She left her bag on the couch and walked upstairs, opening up the door of what she knew was her bedroom. Inside, lightly illuminated by a bedside lamp, layed Katya. She was half sitting on the bed, her hair loose behind her back. She was wearing a simple blue tank top, and didn't have any makeup on. Her face looked puffy around the eyes.

"I'm sorry, I was about to walk downstairs." Katya said, her voice hoarse. Trixie's heart broke by the sight of her, and she didn't even think about it before rushing towards the bed and holding Katya in a gentle embrace.

"Oh my goodness Kat, are you alright? What happened?" She pulled back from the hug, cupping Katya's face on her hands.

"I'm sorry for calling you. I know things are awkward between us right now, so I wasn't sure if I..."

"Don't worry about that right now, we'll discuss that later. No, right now I'm worried about you. Look at you, laying here in the dark crying."

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just... so much has happened this week, Trixie. So much."

"Want to talk about it?" She asked, to which Katya nodded. She layed down on the pillow behind her, and as the other girl did the same they found themselves laying in front of eachother.

Katya took a shaky breath in, before starting to talk.

"Saturday morning, the day after we... you know. I received a call from Lee. She was a co-worker of mine back in Russia, and the closest thing I had to a friend. She called because... well, there's something you need to know first. Someone, to be more precise, who played a big part in my life. His name is Johan."

Katya started telling her the story of the boy, about how they met and the evolution of their relationship. Trixie disliked him from the start, and it was clear that he had damaged her. She felt for younger Katya who had to experience those things.

When she finished telling Johan's story she sighed, as if she didn't want to go on. "Anyway, I recieved the call on Saturday because Lee called me to let me know that he had been in a really bad car accident. He was at the hospital in that moment."  
A deep breath in. "And then she called again on Sunday morning to let me know he died. They tried their best but it just didn't work."

Trixie reached our her hand, holding Katya's. She gave her a weak smile.

"Kat, I'm so sorry." Trixie said, unsure of how to handle the situation.

"It's... okay, actually. I've taken time to grieve him in a way, since we cut all ties. I'm not necessarily sad about it anymore, I just feel shocked. I wasn't expecting that to happen and it made me go back to my time back home. I don't appreciate those memories."

"Is there anything else going on?" Trixie said, based on the troubled look that was still painted across her face.

"Yes. Only two days later I received a call from my aunt, the one that owns this house. She told me... she's coming back in two weeks, which is earlier than planned. But the thing is, she got engaged. She's coming home with her fiancée so I need to find somewhere else to live in less than two weeks."

Trixie squeezed her hand, as realization started to sink in. Katya had been dealing with that on her own, with nobody by her side to lean on. She felt incredibly bad for not being there for her before.

"Anyway, as if that wasn't already enough, earlier today I got yet another call. This time, from the bar I worked at. They... they're closing up. They have a ton of financial issues, and someone bought the place, so they are closing which means I no longer have a job."

Katya looked up from her spot, her eyes shining under the dim light. She locked eyes with Trixie, and she was able to fully see the sorrow that layed behind them. She was carrying such a big burden, and Trixie wished she could take in some of the weight.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Trix. I have to leave my house in two weeks, and I no longer have a job, I'm running out of money and I have to apply for college and I've been so alone, and goddamit I've missed you so, so much, and I... I..." She cut off with a broken voice, as tears ran down through her face. She was fully breaking down, which shook Trixie up.

"Hey, come here. Don't worry about it, we'll figure it out together, ok? We'll find a solution, both of us. You won't have to go through this alone, I promise. I'm right here for you Kat, and I'm not going anywhere."

She pulled Katya into a hug, the girl instantly melting into her arms. She held onto her back like if she was holding for dear life, her arms sealed shut behind her, and her face buried deep into her neck.

Trixie held out her hand, tracing circles in the girls back, trying to give her a link to the present, and something to help her relax. Trixie's sweater was being drowned in tears but she didn't care a single bit. The only thing that mattered to her in that moment was the girl in her arms.

Slowly, the sobs went down to soft sniffles, an finally, quiet. A couple of minutes passed by, before Katya pulled away a little bit. Her face was red, her eyes were puffy, and she was covered in tears and sweat.

"I'm sorry, I got your clothes all wet."

"Don't worry about it, I don't mind." Trixie put a piece of Katya's hair behind her ear. They locked eyes, and for the first time since she had arrived, Katya gave her a genuine smile.

They stayed like that for a little, before Katya let out a yawn.

"Sleepy?"

"Yeah, this drained me a lot."

Katya stretched out her arms, before laying back down. Trixie sighed next to her.

"Thanks for being here." Katya said, already half asleep.

"No problem."

Soon, they both fell asleep. Trixie still had her clothes on, and the lamp was still on, but they didn't care.

-

It had been only a couple of hours, when Trixie woke up by the sound of something falling on the ground. She opened her eyes to find that the room was still dark, the beside lamp being the only light source. In front of the bed, Katya was picking up something from the floor.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"What are you doing up? It's still nighttime." Trixie asked, rubbing her eyes to wake up.

"I couldn't stay asleep for long, I'm sorry. I was folding some clothes." Katya put the pile of clothes on the corner of the bedroom, before walking up to the edge of the bed to sit on it. Trixie sat up too.

"Listen, I... I'm very thankful for what you did for me. I needed to let all those emotions out. I will understand if you want to leave now because... you know." She lowered her gaze, playing with her hands. Trixie knew what she was talking about. Even though they hadn't discussed it yet, tension was still in the air. They hadn't talked about their argument.

"I don't want to leave. Katya, I... I'm sorry about, well, everything." She lifted her head up, locking eyes with Trixie. "I'm sorry for ignoring you, and pushing you away. I'm sorry that I hurt you and that I lied and that I was a terrible friend."

Trixie took a deep breath in, and told her about her father. She told her about how he had found out, about his threats and his constant supervision of what she was doing. When she finished, Katya was looking at her with a concerned look.

"I know that this is no excuse. I should've told you what was going on instead of keeping it to myself. I thought if I lied I would prevent you getting hurt, but I just did the opposite. I'm so, so sorry Katya."

Katya gave her a soft smile and scooted closer to where she was. She put a hand on her knee.

"Hey, don't worry about it. It wasn't in your control. And yes, maybe you should've told me about it, but I can't put full blame on you when you were doing what you deemed best. It's okay."

"I'm still sorry though, specially about the game."

"It's in the past now. You were going through a though time, and we all make mistakes, trust me, I know about that. Besides, I like to believe you wouldn't do that again."

"Never."

"See? We're good then. I care about you too much to let you go because of a disagreement."

Trixie smiled, feeling like a weight was lifted over her shoulders. In front of her, Katya was smiling too. It was evident that she already felt better, and while she still had to deal with many issues of her own, she looked happy, relaxed.

Suddenly, while looking at her under the dim light, she had a realization. Something that had been lingering in the back of her mind, but she hadn't given the chance to explore. But now, having her in front of her after being apart for so long, it became loud and clear, impossible to ignore.

"Hey, Katya."

"Yeah."

"Can I tell you something? But you have to promise not to freak out on me. I... it's important."

Katya scrunched her eyes, looking at her suspiciously. "Okay, what is it?"

Trixie took a deep breath in, looking her in the eye as she said it. "I love you. I realized I do. I don't expect you to say it back right away, because I know that's like a big step or whatever, but... I don't know, I think I'm rambling. The point is there though, and I fully mean it. I love you, Kat."

And then, the unexpected happened. She started laughing. Trixie froze in her place, unsure of what to do next while the girl in front of her tried to conceal her laughs.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm laughing because I'm nervous." She finally took a deep breath in, bringing the giggles to a stop. "Okay, I'm fine. I'm sorry about that, it's just... I was just thinking about saying that to you when you did it first. It caught me off guard and I got nervous, I'm sorry. But of course I love you too, silly, what did you expect me to say?"

They looked at eachother for a moment, before breaking into laughter again. It was silly, and Katya held her hand as they laughed, but she felt the happiest she had felt in a long time.

"Omg... I didn't expect you to say it back right away." Trixie said, once the laughter stopped again.

"Seriously? Because I don't know how you didn't notice earlier. You got me head over heels, Trix, I seriously don't know what you did to me. But I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

Trixie held on to Katya's knee for balance, and with a smile still on her face, she leaned closer to her, giving her a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth.

She didn't get a chance to pull back, for Katya pulled in closer, making their lips fully touch, the kiss growing deeper. Trixie felt as if she was on the clouds, as if she had finally arrived home.

She had kissed Katya many times before, even gone way further than that, but that didn't stop her from getting butterflies in her stomach due to the soft warm touch of the girl.

Slowly, one of Katya's hand started gracing her lower back, but she pulled back, breaking the kiss just enough so that their noses were still touching.

"Hey Barbie doll, remember that I said I was going to ask you something? And how I said it was related to the house?"

"Yeah."

"I lied. I was going to ask you if you officially wanted to be my girlfriend."

"Was going to? As in, it's in the past?"

"The offer still stands." Katya said, putting a strand of Trixie's hair behind her ear.

"Well of course I want to. You didn't even have to ask."

Katya pulled her in again for a kiss, deepening it. Trixie was starting to feel the heat rise, as Katya's hand began tracing her leg, but she mentally stopped her herself when she remembered how tired she was. She broke the kiss, pulling back.

"We have to sleep, Kat. We'll have plenty of time to do something later."

Katya pouted at her, to which she teasingly rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's go to sleep already."

Katya didn't push it forward, and instead she walked up to the opposite side of the bed, turning the small lamp off. She slipped under the covers, and Trixie did the same.

They were facing eachother for a moment, laying in silence, before Trixie decided to speak.

"Turn around."

"Thought you said you didn't want to do anything"

"Oh shut up, you're nasty. Seriously though, just do it." Katya scrunched her eyes before following the command. She turned around, giving her back to Trixie.

She used the chance, slipping her arms under Katya's, holding her waist from the back. She pulled her in closer, burying her face in her hair.

Katya let out a muffled giggle, before gently holding Trixie's arms and cuddling in against her body.

"Thank you for being here with me." Katya whispered.

"Anytime." Trixie answered, before gently squeezing her hold on her waist. "I love you."

"I love you too." Katya said, her words droopy with exhaustion.

Soon both girls succumbed to sleep, with a warm feeling in their hearts. Because in that bed, holding on to eachother, settled in below the covers, they were safe. They were loved. They were home. And they weren't planning on letting that go.


	15. By her side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello hello! 
> 
> so, first of all, I realized that in last episode's art scene I forgot to draw Katya's tattoos rip, please don't come at me for that 
> 
> I also don't promise accuracy concerning the jobs and hiring process in this episode, so let's just pretend things can work a certain way, okay? okay.
> 
> that being said, this was a very exciting episode to write! I think the next couple of episodes will be rather cute and fun, but after that get ready because honey, you got a big storm coming :) 
> 
> I'll also try and update often, but I am back to online school so we'll see how that goes lmao. 
> 
> as always, and with a little extra note,  
> stay safe, be gay, do crime, and enjoy! 💖

!TW: mention of self harm scars, the paragraphs that include it will be marked like this * !  
!This episode contains nsfw scenes! 

-

The next day arrived with the early sunshine. Trixie rolled over to her back, trying to escape the warm light on her skin. 

She opened up her eyes, rubbing her hand against them to clear up her sight.

In front of her, Katya was already awake. She smiled when she noticed she was looking.

"Hey." 

"Hey." Trixie answered, her voice still hoarse from the sleep. 

A couple of minutes later, they were up. Katya encouraged her to have breakfast, which convinced her to get out of bed. Now, they were sitting in the dining room, breakfast in front of them.

Trixie was still waking up, but her mind was already starting to get clearer about what had happened. In front of her, Katya sighed.

"Listen, Trixie, I... I've said this a lot already, but thank you for being there for me last night. I don't know what I would've done without you. And about what I said, I mean it. But I'll understand if you change your mind, or..." 

"What do you mean?" Trixie said, scooting her chair closer. "Katya, I won't change my mind. I also meant what I said. I love you, okay? And don't worry, I promised we would figure out the house and job issue together, and that's what we're doing. Deal?" 

Katya smiled. "Deal."

"So... what have you been up to these past days? Anything new?" 

They both chatted about how their week had been, catching up on all the details that they hadn't had a chance to talk about. Trixie found out that Alaska's foot was healing nicely, and that she had become a closer friend to Katya. She also had a laugh when Katya told her the story about how she found out she was allergic to peaches.

"I swear, my arms were so itchy! It was bad." 

Trixie tried to stop her laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. She missed those moments with Katya.

"So, aside from injured limbs and cursed fruits... Have you applied to any colleges yet?" She asked, before taking a bite out of her muffin. Katya's smile faded a little.

"Not yet. I'm still looking into what I'm going to do. As you know, I want to do gymnastics but I'm starting very late. At my age people were already winning Olympic games, and I'm just now starting. If I even make it I know my career won't be long so I'm trying to find a way to make the most of it while I still can." 

Trixie reached out, holding Katya's hand in hers. The blue eyed looked up in surprise.

"I'm sure you'll make it. I've seen you perform, you're extremely talented and you have a passion for what you do. You were born to do gymnastics, Kat, so don't worry too much about age. You'll be better than all of them, I promise." 

Katya's eyes lit up, and she smiled in return to her words. "Stop it beautiful, you're going to make me blush." A squeeze in her hand. "But what about you? Any colleges that my Barbie doll has her eye on?" 

Trixie tried not to think about how much her heart fluttered over hearing Katya referring to her as _her_ doll, and instead tried to focus on her answer.

"Kinda. I have the ones my parents picked out but..." 

"That's not what you want." 

Trixie sighed, putting her muffin down on the table. "No. I want to study art, dedicate my life to it. There's a school that I've dreamed of going since I was a child, but it's in Canada and... I don't know. It's always been my dream but it just doesn't seem possible." 

"Trixie." Katya said, her tone becoming more serious. "You've been cheering me on for my impossible dream since I've mentioned it, so I'm going to do the same for you. You're a smart girl, you're clever and intelligent and a fast learner. If you want to go to that art school then you should at least apply. Don't define your life based on what they want, it's not their choice to make. You should do what fits you best." 

Trixie smiled in return, glad to hear the comforting words of support. She needed them.

The rest of the morning went by with a breeze. They finished their breakfast, and a little bit later Trixie went home to unpack her clothes and freshen up.

They had agreed to meet in the afternoon so that they could go hunting for jobs at the mall. Trixie was also interested in starting her job life, since she hadn't had a need to start working before. She didn't necessarily have a need now, but she wanted to start gaining experience, specially since the idea of the college in Canada didn't sound so far fetched anymore.

Eventually, the evening arrived, and Trixie stepped out of the house wearing comfortable clothes. She had her black jeans on, and an oversized sweater with a pink and white heart pattern. Her hair was up in a ponytail and her feet were covered with polished white tennis shoes.

She walked towards Katya's house, where she was turning on her bike for the ride. She had a black hoodie on, with a print on the front that read 'mountain biking vampire witch from the future'; Trixie wondered where on earth she had gotten that. For her legs she had ripped jeans with fishnets underneath, and simple black shoes. Her hair was also tied back, expect hers was a messy bun.

They greeted eachother with a kiss that made her feel butterflies, and then they were on their way. 

The mall was just like Trixie remembered it. Big, fresh, loud and with a constant smell of sweets due to the many stores that it had. That day it smelled specially like caramel popcorn.

Both girls walked inside, taking a walk around to see if any spots were applying. As they walked, Katya interlaced her fingers with Trixie, holding hands.

She was startled at first, worried that they would be seen, but after a couple of doubtful seconds she decided it was ok, and continued to hold her. It was difficult, but Trixie was making progress. She was trying to let go of the ideas and stigmas that had followed her all her life.

She had a girlfriend, and she was gay, and it was okay. She had tried to hide and suppress her attraction to women for too long, and she decided it was enough. People could laugh and call her names, make their own idea of what she was like, but she no longer cared. Not enough to stop holding Katya's hand, at least. 

Besides, she had nothing to be ashamed of. Katya was a beautiful girl, and she was head over heels for her. If anything she wanted to jump on top of a table and scream 'THAT'S MY GIRL' so that everyone would know how happy she was to have her by her side. That would've been a bit excessive though, so she stuck with squeezing her hand and scooting in closer so that their shoulders touch. She hoped that got the message across.

After a while of walking, they reached the now familiar ice cream shop. To their luck, there was a huge sign on the window asking for a spot. They walked inside the store, basking in on the difference of vibes.

As always, it smelled sweet, the many flavours of ice cream creating one collective sweet scent. As for the place, it was very vibrant. Loud colours and patterns decorated it, making you be inevitably excited. It was a certainly good marketing strategy.

On the other side of the counter, was the only person in the entire place, which was weirdly empty. The boy smiled at them, immediately recognizing their faces.

"Hey, look at that! It's plain vanilla and blue eyes." Todrick said, swinging his cleaning fabric up his shoulder. Trixie rolled her eyes.

"Seriously? Still won't let that go?" 

"Never." He gave them another big smile before leaning into the wall. "So, what can I do for you today, ladies?" 

"We actually came because of the sign at the door. I want to apply." Katya said, pointing towards the hiring sign as if it weren't obvious what she was referring to.

"Oh thank goodness you do, it's been up for days and no one has applied yet. Can you believe it? No one." He walked out of the counter, stepping outside into the common area where they both stood. "Lucky for you I'm in charge of the interviews and I've decided you don't need one." 

Both girls looked at eachother in confusion. Was he for real?

"You're just going to hire me out of impulse? Without even seeing if I'm fit for the job?" Katya asked without any tone in particular, it was simply a question.

"Yeah. I mean don't get me wrong I normally would do all the profesh stuff, but seriously man, we've been under staffed for weeks and no one has shown interest in the job yet. Besides, I like you and you look like the type to learn fast. I'll teach you everything before you start. So what do you say, up for it? Just say yes and I'll send your request to my boss. He'll have to agree since you have zero competition." 

Katya looked over at Trixie, who just shrugged in response. It seemed like the perfect opportunity although a little comical. As if reading her thoughts, Katya giggled before turning towards the boy.

"Sure, I'm in." 

"Welcome to the scoop family then, you won't regret it."

"Yeah, with a name like that I'm not so sure." 

Trodrick rolled his eyes, but eventually he laughed. After saying goodbye they stepped out of the store, and as they walked away Trixie could see him taking the sign down.

"So. It really was that easy, huh." Trixie said, reaching out her hand as a sign for Katya to hold it. Without lowering her gaze, she interlaced their fingers.

"I can't believe it myself. I didn't even ask for the details, I don't know if the pay will be enough with that job or if I need another one." 

"We'll figure it out. Hey, can we go check out the other stores? I want to see if I can find something too." 

They continued to walk around the mall for a couple of minutes, and Trixie eventually found an available spot at a makeup store. She applied for an interview, which was scheduled for the next day at noon. She thanked the lady at the counter and walked back to an expecting Katya.

"Let's grab something to eat, I'm starving." 

They stopped at a nearby restaurant, where they were served quickly. Trixie hadn't realised how hungry she was until she took a bite out of her food. 

They ate in silence for a while, before Katya decided to break it.

"Hey, so... As you know, the club I used to work at it's closing." 

Trixie stopped chewing, looking at her girlfriend with more attention now.

"But technically they're not closing until Saturday." Katya continued, while playing with her straw. She locked eyes with Trixie. "There's an event tomorrow night to say goodbye to the club. It's closed doors night, so only people who work there and our plus ones can go. I was wondering if you'd wanna go with me." 

Trixie lit up, smiling. "Of course I would. It sounds fun."

Katya also smiled. They discussed the details of the event, such as the hour and how they were going to get there.

After they finished eating, they took another quick walk around the mall before deciding to go home. 

Once outside of Trixie's house, she hopped down the bike, taking her helmet off. Behind her, Katya was looking at her as if she didn't want her to leave, which brought an idea to Trixie's mind.

"Hey, how about you stay over? You've only ever seen my room, and it'd be nice if you actually walk in through the door for once."

"You sure?" Katya asked, although she was clearly interested in her suggestion.

"Of course, we can sleep in my room. How about you go get your stuff and come over in a couple of minutes." 

Katya gave her a big smile, before nodding. She drove down the street, and Trixie walked inside the house, trying to frantically clean it up.

There wasn't much of a mess but she still wanted it to look good. She picked up a couple of clothes that were laying around, and quickly dusted off the counter, when she heard the knock on the door. 

On the other side stood Katya, holding a bag that she assumed was her pajamas. 

The blue eyed girl walked in, looking around at the house. The distribution was the same as hers, but the decoration was clearly different. Katya's house had more of a home feeling to it, with both her aunt's and her own stuff and boxes, whereas Trixie's was the opposite. It looked straight out of a catalogue, decorated with visuals and aesthetics in mind, rather than comfort.

"Let's go upstairs so you can place your bag in my room." 

As Trixie lead the way up the stairs, she felt her heart slightly rushing. Katya had been in her room many times, that wasn't something that worried her, but rather the setting. This time they were alone, with no one to bother them, and they were going to be in her room. Her mind couldn't help but wander in possibility which made her blush.

Inside her room, it was more cozy. It had a touch of her personality, and Katya seemed to relax with the familiarity of the place. She left her bag on the floor, before flopping down on the bed. Trixie mimicked her, laying next to her on the pink comforter.

"Your room smells nice." Katya said, catching her attention.

"Totally normal thing to say, but thanks." 

Katya giggled before turning towards her and poking her ribs. 

"Hey! Stop it!" Soon they were on a tickling fight, rolling around the bed laughing as they tried to out power eachother. Finally, Trixie ended up sitting on top of Katya, pining her down to prevent her from tickling her.

They stared at eachother for a while, and slowly, Trixie released her grip. Katya's hands traveled to her hips, and with a faster beating heart, she lowered down to kiss her. 

She tasted like toothpaste, which meant she had brushed her teeth at home. As the kiss went on, Katya's grip on her hips became stronger, gently squeezing them. 

Trixie parted from the kiss, just enough so that their noses were still touching. A shiver went up her spine as Katya squeezed again. 

"Can I tell you something? If it makes you uncomfortable you can ask me to stop." Katya said in a low whisper, as if she wanted to make sure only Trixie could hear her, despite the fact that they were alone. 

"Spill." Trixie said, also whispering.

"I sometimes still think about that night we had together. It's probably inappropriate since it was a while ago but... I can't seem to forget how you felt, and looked, and sounded like when..." Trixie felt blush rising to her cheeks, and she gave Katya another kiss before she could finish her sentence. 

This time, Katya parted the kiss. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up. You probably don't..." 

"No, I still think about it too." Trixie shifted her weight, pressing down on her elbows next to Katya's face. She became overly aware of what areas of their bodies were touching. "And I miss that because... I have been so busy lately, and I haven't been touched since that time. Not even by myself." 

Katya's eyes seemed to darken, her cheeks growing red by Trixie's bold statement. Her eyes were painted with desire, and they were inviting her in. The tingle between her legs grew higher as Katya sighed, pulling her closer.

"Damn it, you can't say those things like that. It makes me think things that I shouldn't." Katya said, her voice hoarse. 

With a burst of confidence, Trixie sat up, leaving Katya laying down by herself. She propped herself up by her elbows, looking confused.

"I'm going into the shower." Trixie said, already making her way to her bathroom. "You should come too." 

Katya's eyes opened in realization, aware of what Trixie's words meant. 

"Are you sure? Because last time we didn't really thought it through." 

"I know, that's why this time it will be better. We're fully aware of what we're doing." Trixie stepped into the bathroom, poking out only her head. "Think about it, but I'll be waiting for you to come here. I want it." 

She closed the bathroom door behind her, taking in a deep breath. Her heart was beating fast, she had never flirted do deliberately, let alone make that bold of an invitation. And yet, those actions gave her a crazy amount of confidence she hadn't felt before.

She walked up Infront of the mirror, taking of her clothes and wiping away her makeup. She stared at herself for a while, before stepping into the shower. 

There was no sign of Katya yet, but her heart was pounding with excitement. She knew her enough to know that she would eventually join.

Trixie went quickly through her shower routine, scrubbing her body and hair. As she started to apply the thick layer of conditioner her curls needed, she heard the door open and close. 

Through the shower curtain she could see Katya's silhouette. She hadn't said anything yet, but Trixie stared as she saw the figure stripping down of her clothes. 

She turned towards the shower head as Katya walked in. She then stepped out of the water, making way so that she could fit in. 

They were both silent, the only sound being that of the water stream. Katya closed her eyes as the water ran through her skin and hair, and Trixie couldn't help but get butterflies. She hadn't taken her makeup off, and it was runny underneath the stream, but to Trixie's eyes that just made her hotter. 

Finally, Katya opened up her eyes, looking towards her way. Trixie stared as the girl dragged her eyes up and down her body, taking her in. A smile came on across her face as her eyes grew darker. 

Trixie pulled her in, kissing her under the water. They had to close their eyes, and it was difficult to breathe, but she didn't mind one bit. As they kissed, she felt Katya reaching out to close the water, making her get a shiver of cold. 

She was then pushed towards the wall, the cold ceramic tiles caressing her back. 

Their kiss grew deeper, and Trixie held on towards Katya from everywhere she could think of. Her hands traveled from her legs to her shoulders, as Katya continued to press her towards the wall. 

They broke apart to take air, and Trixie giggled over Katya's smudge of lipstick. She knew she had one too. 

"Are you sure about this?" Katya said, caressing her cheek. 

"Does this look like a no to you?" She answered giving a sarcastic smirk. Katya huffed out breath.

"Don't tempt me, princess." 

"Do it then." 

They kissed again, and before Katya could press her against the wall again, she used her momentum to turn around, her chest and face being the ones pressed instead. 

"What are you...?" 

"I want you to use me." Trixie said, surprising both Katya and herself. She reached out behind her, pulling the other girl closer. 

"Your wish is my command." 

Katya started to kiss her neck and shoulders, as her fingers made way between her legs. She let out a sigh, as she let herself bask in the feeling. 

The cold she had felt due to the lack of water was now gone, for all she could feel was heat. She pressed against the wall, as they both found the most comfortable position. Katya slid her free hand up her body, holding her by the neck. It was a hard enough grip to hold her, but gentle enough that it wasn't hurting her.

Eventually, Trixie started to feel as if it wasn't enough. She wanted more, more, more. 

"Can you go faster?" She asked, her voice faint, coming out as more of a whisper. The other girl complied.

Not only her hands, but her lips began to go faster. She fixated on a part of her neck, biting and sucking, and Trixie assumed it would leave a mark. She got turned on by the thought of it, having a clear sign that she belonged to her, that they had done this.

But after a while that wasn't enough either. Her body craved for so much, she hadn't realised how badly she needed it. She arched her back, reaching her hand behind her to hold Katya's hair, pulling her as close as possible.

"I need you to be faster, more rough." She said, her voice almost in a pleading tone. "Fuck me, goddamit." 

"Damn princess, damn it." Katya breathed out as she followed her instructions.

Less than minute went by, when Trixie felt her body finally give her the tremble she had so desperately wanted. She leaned on towards the wall, trying to regain her breath. She gently pushed Katya's hips away, trying to let her know she needed to stop.

Katya understood her sign to stop, and she pulled away just enough that Trixie could still hear her shaky breath. 

She turned around, kissing her passionately, their bodies tangling together. She felt another surge of confidence, and with a swift movement she switched their places, Katya being the one with her back against the wall now. 

She pulled away from the kiss, clearly surprised. 

"We don't have to if you don't want to, but last time everything was about me." Trixie said, putting a strand of her wet hair behind her ear. "I want to give something back." 

"Princess, I... You don't have to." 

"I want to. If you let me, of course." They looked at eachother for a while, as Katya considered it. It was obvious that she wasn't used to being on that side of the equation, but Trixie desperately wanted to touch her. 

A couple of seconds later, Katya nodded. "You can." 

They kissed again, this time more gently. Katya's leg traveled up to Trixie's waist, giving her access. She took the opportunity.

Katya let out a small gasp, as she held on to her shoulders. 

"You okay?" Trixie asked, rubbing their noses together in a kind way. She knew this was new for her.

"I'm great, just... don't stop, okay?" Katya said, her voice hoarse. Trixie almost giggled about how different she was. She was usually the dominant one, the one with the flirty comments and movements, but now she was completely under her will. It was hot.

Trixie continued on with her motion, trying to find a rhythm and movement that Katya liked. Once she figured it out, she stuck to it, delighting herself in the expression and occasional sounds of the girl in front of her.

Eventually, she felt her coming close to the end, as her grip on her shoulders thightened, and she swung her head back as much as the wall allowed her to. 

As she finished with a shiver, Trixie leaned in to give her a kiss underneath her jaw. 

She also pulled away as Katya regained her breath, and she slowly lowered her leg back to the ground. 

Trixie pulled their faces closer, taking in her scent while she softly and lovingly caressed her body. Her hands traveled through her arms and legs, giving a gentle massage, when she reached her hips. She suddenly stopped. Her skin felt different there. 

*She leaned back a little, lowering her gaze towards Katya's hips. She tried not to let it show, but her heart did a flip as she realised why it felt different. Instead of soft skin, her hips were covered in old healed scars, that although weren't recent, weren't faded enough to not be recognizable. 

*They covered the entirety of her hips, some of them travelling even towards the start of the legs. Trixie held in her breath, all her sexy mood suddenly gone. She was concerned now, because although she had never done it herself, she knew those weren't the type of scars you get from an accident. 

*Finally, Katya lifted her head up, concern also in her eyes as she noticed the change in Trixie's expression. She looked confused for a while, before she realised where her hands were. She sighed, putting a hand on her cheeks.

*"Hey... I'm okay now. These are old." 

*"I hadn't noticed before. I guess last time it was too dark, or I just wasn't paying attention, I..." Trixie said, unsure of how to approach the situation. She didn't want to make Katya feel bad, but she had been shaken up. "I'm sorry you ever felt the need to do this to yourself. I'm sorry." 

*Katya's eyes softened as she gave her a weak smile. "Me too. That was a dark part of my life, but it's been almost a year since I stopped. I'm doing better now, so you don't need to worry about me, okay?" 

Trixie saw the sincerity in her eyes, and she nodded. She believed her.

"I'm sorry I killed the mood." She said, stepping back. 

"It's okay, what we did was nice enough." Trixie blushed a little but she smiled in return. "Let's finish washing off, yeah? I didn't even get to actually shower." 

Katya turned the water back on, making her hair wet again. Trixie followed, washing away her conditioner. 

"I'll wait for you in the room since I already did all that. You can use any products you like." Trixie said as she squeezed her hair for excess water. She reached out to give her a small kiss on the cheek before walking outside the shower. 

After drying herself up, she went into her bedroom, picking out a fresh pair of pajamas. As she changed, she felt happy. She had never been as bold and shameless as today, and while she still was getting used to it, she liked feeling comfortable enough with both Katya and herself that she felt as if she could do it.

As she brushed out her hair, Katya stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her, her hair slightly dropping on the floor. 

She walked up to her bag, picking out her pajamas, and Trixie turned her sight away as Katya dropped her towel and changed. At that point it was less than necessary for her to look away, specially after what they had done just a few minutes ago, but she still wanted her to have a sense of privacy. 

Katya giggled over her action, but she didn't push it. She understood the sentiment of it, and Trixie even went as far as thinking she had been grateful.

After they were both ready, Trixie sighed, looking around the room. She still had some energy left, and wanted to spend more time with her girlfriend. 

How strange it was for her, that word. Girlfriend. Just a couple of months ago she had been repressing heavily, trying to convince everyone around her she was straight, that she was wrong for liking girls. Those memories seemed distant now.

Things were different. She was starting to not be afraid of being herself, and she took pride in calling Katya her partner. As she watched the other girl distantly shaking off the water from her hair, she felt a warmness inside her, a feeling of care and love. 

"Wanna watch a show or something? I can pull out my laptop." 

"Sure, let's do it." Katya said, already taking her place in the bed, waiting excitedly for Trixie to come back with the device. They settled under the covers, with their backs against the head rest of the bed. 

They opened up a streaming service, picking out a movie that promised action and mystery. 

Katya seemed to be very into it, getting excited at the fighting scenes and every now and then telling Trixie what she thought was important for solving the mystery. 

Trixie, on her side, didn't care much about the movie. She was focused on how happy Katya was, how her eyes glowed with excitement and how her eyebrows frowned when she was analysing the clues. She was way more entertaining than any movie. 

She cuddled in closer to her, leaning her head on her shoulder. She closed her eyes for a moment, telling herself she was going to focus on the sound.

When she opened them up again, the room was silent. Katya was closing the device on their laps, trying to move it away discreetly. Trixie rubbed her eyes, sitting up straight.

"What are you doing?" 

"You feel asleep, darling." Katya said, looking at her with an endearing smile. "I didn't want to wake you. The movie is over now." 

"Did they solve the mystery? Who did it?" 

"It was the dad. Saw it coming from miles away, it was rather unimpressive at the end." 

Katya reached to put the laptop on the floor, and then reached back into the bed, signaling Trixie to come closer. She held her in between her arms, as she rested her head in her chest.

Trixie was already feeling her eyes growing heavy with sleep again, and she couldn't help but yawn. Katya giggled a little.

"C'mon, let's go to sleep. We both need rest." She gave her a small kiss on top of her forehead, and Trixie hugged her closer. "I love you, Trix." 

Trixie mumbled 'i love you' back, and although it was barely audible, she knew Katya heard it. She didn't have to say it for her to know.


	16. another little announcement (NOT A CHAPTER)

so... hi. it's been a while. there's some stuff I wanna talk about.

there's been a lot going on in my life lately. I've been struggling a lot with school, and it's been really draining of my mental health. I also won't get too much into detail with this, but I've been struggling with my gender identity and I've been trying to give that my full focus since I want to feel good about myself and better understand who I am.

also, I've been feeling myself a little distanced from the fandom. since season 13 started, I've found myself very captivated with the queens (in fact, if you use Twitter you might recognise me from the now semi famous cultnali group), and so I've been dedicating less time to Trixie and Katya. 

the motivation to write this story is fading rather intensly, but I still have a lot of appreciation for it, and I will finish it because I owe it to myself and to all of you who enjoy it and have shown your support to give it the ending it deserves and that I've planned for so long.

however, I will cut it a little shorter. the episodes might not be as long and the pace might pick up a bit. I hope this doesn't bother you too much; I know it must be frustrating and disappointing that I'm rushing it a bit, but I trust you'll understand that in order for me to continue writing the story this is something I have to do. 

I will try my best to keep the good quality and will continue to put a lot of effort into it, but do know that it's not my main priority anymore. 

again, thank you all for your support. words can't express how much it means to me. thanks for sticking around, and I hope next chapter can live up to your expectations even with the new format. 

I love you all so much, stay safe and stunning 💛


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